Almost... But Not Quite

I thought maybe I could come up with something of interest to write about tonight, but I've got nothing...

Maybe tomorrow.

Slipping Into the Solitude

Went out tonight after work to do a little school shopping for KC, and ended up making an unexpected pit stop at Barnes & Nobles. I just can't seem to help myself when it comes to certain things lately. Maybe I can pass it off as a quest for knowledge or a thirst for words, either of which is a happy excuse to blame my most recent purchase of a book of poetry by Louise Gluck. Perhaps it's just the silent push of winter knocking at the door that has me lining my nest with small pockets of joy, golden nuggets of inspiration for a cold, dark day to come.

Mutable Earth

Are you healed or do you only think you're healed?

I told myself
from nothing
nothing can be taken away.

But can you love anyone yet?

When I feel safe, I can love.

But will you touch anyone?

I told myself
if I had nothing
the world couldn't touch me.

In the bathtub, I examine my body.
We're supposed to do that.

And your face too?
Your face in the mirror?

I was vigilant: when I touched myself
I didn't feel anything.

Were you safe then?

I was never safe, even when I was most hidden.
Even then I was waiting.

So you couldn't protect yourself?

The absolute
erodes; the boundary, the wall
around the self erodes.
If I was waiting I had been
invaded by time.

But do you think you're free?

I think I recognize the patterns of my nature.

But do you think you're free?

I had nothing
and I was still changed.
Like a costume, my numbness
was taken away. Then
hunger was added.

- Louise Gluck
Vita Nova

Mom & Daughter Fun Day

KC and I went to the Renaissance Festival today in Sterling and came back with much less money in our pockets than we started with. However this picture alone was well worth the drive, our time and the coins. (And it doesn't hurt that I don't look half bad, half naked. At least in cartoon form...)

More stories from today to come later. Or at least a few months down the road when I get my film developed...

Not So Distant Memory

Someday I'm going to get back in the swing of things and fill this blog full to bursting with the words I've kept concealed these past few months. I guess I just can't help myself. Too many words and I get in trouble, too little and it's like I never existed at all. To me it's felt like a weakness. A purveying of the truth in small doses; the only quantity I can handle. But inside my head there is so much more to be said as summer days begin to run together racing for the cold.

Tonight the house smells like warm licorice. A comforting smell that brings a thought and a smile to my face much like a conversation would with an old friend. My thoughts are filled with moments, both found and stolen. And I look at the clock above the stove and think about this time last week remembering where I was and who I was with and wishing I could find myself there once more...