It's time to get this blog back on track. And despite my recent thoughts of finding an appropriate way for it to meet its end, I've decided to throw it a life line and rescue it from its self imposed extinction.
So much has happened this past month that it's hard to know where to start or even what I should, and of course, shouldn't say ...
But as you've all gathered by now, KC and I moved our entire household. And it was quite an experience. I am convinced that you never know just how much nonsense you own until you've had to sort and pack it all away into boxes. I've still all sorts of unpacking to do, and rearranging to do as well, but for now, this week, I'm keeping rather low key getting used to the hum of the fluorescent light in the kitchen and the sounds this house makes in the middle of the night.
There is some humor in this move however ... The house I'm in boasts one thing that no other place I've lived ever has. I'm now right next door to my boss. And even though car pooling is now an option, I'm really going to miss those mental mind break days I used to take every now and then just for fun ...
I met some of my neighbors tonight, and KC quick to make friends at her new school was overjoyed when we met one of her classmates while walking the roads trick or treating. And it was nice to know that after one day at her new school, my daughter has proven to be far more resilient in dealing with change then I ever have been in my entire life. This is a quality I hope to encourage in her as life really is about living in the moment and opening yourself up for the possibilities that change brings. Maybe I should take a lesson from her on this ... Change doesn't always have to be about rolling with the punches. Sometimes it's a light you need to follow to leave the darkness behind.
Or as George Michael was once known to say, "You've got to have faith-a-faith-a faith-a."
An Odd Sort of Emptiness
Maybe there is nothing left to say. I just don't know. All I know is that the words don't come easy anymore. Maybe because I've grown so out of practice with writing them on a regular basis, or maybe because I watch those words far closer than I should. Either way, it's as if my muse has left me and this a blank page.
My Last Night Home ...
Kiss today goodbye.
And point me towards tomorrow.
We did what we had to do ...
For nine years this house, my home, has served me well. I've laughed here. Cried here. Been my worst and my best here. But soon, like the rooms that already stand empty and waiting for someone else to arrive, I will be just another memory here, an echo sounding off of bare walls.
And these walls won't remember me. Soon they'll be decorated with someone else's things. And people I don't know will use my key to call this place home. And they will laugh here. And they will cry here. And they won't know how I spent my last night here. One part of me very happy to begin somewhere new, and the other half of me wanting to cling to what I know. The comfort that is home.
They won't know that I spent my last night sitting on the floor surrounded by candlelight. Or how I listened to my favorite Joni Mitchell song and didn't bother to wipe away my tears as they rolled down my cheeks. They won't know how red and swollen my eyes were, or the headache that resulted from all those tears. And they won't know that had I been able to find the aspirin packed away in some box, somewhere, my headache would have been gone long before I went to bed, to sleep one last time in this house that I've called home.
And they won't get sentimental over trees in the front yard. And they won't always begin their conversations with remember when ... And they'll start making their own memories from the very first time they walk in the front door. When they open the kitchen cabinets to put their dishes away. They'll barely spare us a thought. Perhaps one to remark about how clean the place was when I left, or perhaps comment on the morning glory vines that I'll leave growing wild on the back porch. Perhaps then, they will take a moment and remember that someone lived here before, and was honored to have called it home.
An Amazon Reminder ...
Just because I didn't forget that today is your special day ...
Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday.
Would've, Could've, Should've
Yeah. I know ... Those really aren't words. But we've all said the same thing more or less at some point in our lives. And Lord knows, I was singing this phrase last night as I was driving home in the rain from the hospital. The hospital where one of my sisters should have been, but wasn't ...
And yet, no phone call. No quick call to me at work to say, "Don't go to the hospital after work, I'm not there ... It turned out to be a quick in and out and go back home procedure." No. Instead I hurried KC out to the car, stopped at my Dad's to pick up my other sister and drove all the way to where the hospital was only to realize ... I'd just wasted a quarter tank of gas.
And gas is STILL expensive!
Needless to say, I wasn't all that amused. And even less so when I realized that I could have gone to Terri's last night after work and socialized with some out of (and in) town friends that were up only for the day.
Instead my youngest sister and I spent the night chilling out and talking and watching some weird game show called Lingo where Sal (a contestant) gave new meaning to the word dumb luck. He was however extremely entertaining, and if we were to ever meet in real life, I'm sure we'd get along ... He did after all attempt to protest another player's move at one point in the show, which scored him mad points in my book. It didn't work of course, but it was funny.
TGIF!
And yet, no phone call. No quick call to me at work to say, "Don't go to the hospital after work, I'm not there ... It turned out to be a quick in and out and go back home procedure." No. Instead I hurried KC out to the car, stopped at my Dad's to pick up my other sister and drove all the way to where the hospital was only to realize ... I'd just wasted a quarter tank of gas.
And gas is STILL expensive!
Needless to say, I wasn't all that amused. And even less so when I realized that I could have gone to Terri's last night after work and socialized with some out of (and in) town friends that were up only for the day.
Instead my youngest sister and I spent the night chilling out and talking and watching some weird game show called Lingo where Sal (a contestant) gave new meaning to the word dumb luck. He was however extremely entertaining, and if we were to ever meet in real life, I'm sure we'd get along ... He did after all attempt to protest another player's move at one point in the show, which scored him mad points in my book. It didn't work of course, but it was funny.
TGIF!
The Good Old Days ...
If I were to write all of my weird dreams down, someday I'm sure I could sell the movie rights ...
Last night I sat around a table filled with high school friends and another group of people I had little - if nothing - to do with in high school (whenever it was humanly possible to avoid them) as we sat around a table staring at plates of really bad looking pizza and bowls full of fresh cut carrots, each one of us offering a little glimpse into what our lives had become.
I remember sitting across from Brian, and noting the fact that he didn't look a bit like he had changed until he began to talk, telling the story of how he and his boss had started an affair that his wife didn't know about. And the only thing I could think of to say was, "Anyone up for a smoke?"
And so we went out on the front porch which looked out onto Westwood Drive and I could see my old mustard colored house, and Bren's house as well and we all stood outside shivering with cigarettes dangling from our hands, waiting for someone else to say something that would make sense. But the silence was deafening.
Back inside, girls were clamboring for rights in the bathroom and the popular boys talked of football, their best games and the line of girls who had begged them to wear their jersey's. My crowd milled around the edges of the room, all looking a little older, a little more responsible, and a lot less like the kids I remembered.
All in all, the dream made no sense. It had no clear start, no clear ending and no message it sought to relay.
Last night I sat around a table filled with high school friends and another group of people I had little - if nothing - to do with in high school (whenever it was humanly possible to avoid them) as we sat around a table staring at plates of really bad looking pizza and bowls full of fresh cut carrots, each one of us offering a little glimpse into what our lives had become.
I remember sitting across from Brian, and noting the fact that he didn't look a bit like he had changed until he began to talk, telling the story of how he and his boss had started an affair that his wife didn't know about. And the only thing I could think of to say was, "Anyone up for a smoke?"
And so we went out on the front porch which looked out onto Westwood Drive and I could see my old mustard colored house, and Bren's house as well and we all stood outside shivering with cigarettes dangling from our hands, waiting for someone else to say something that would make sense. But the silence was deafening.
Back inside, girls were clamboring for rights in the bathroom and the popular boys talked of football, their best games and the line of girls who had begged them to wear their jersey's. My crowd milled around the edges of the room, all looking a little older, a little more responsible, and a lot less like the kids I remembered.
All in all, the dream made no sense. It had no clear start, no clear ending and no message it sought to relay.
Something Fishy
My body is in a world of hurt. My fish tank moved to the new house. My really bad idea of using plastic totes to transport water proven as a really bad idea. And my car ... Well, smelling slightly on the fishy side, though I am really hoping for a nice warm day tomorrow to air it out. But between you and me, I don't think it's going to happen. Like the geese, I believe all our warm and sunny days have headed South.
Filtering Out the Spam
I've been a very bad blogger ... Ignoring NWTLO has not been my intention, and yet it's been the reality.
Anyhoo ... In the off chance that I post something again worthy of comments, I'd like to apologize in advance for turning on the spamming content filter.
For a while, I thought I could just go in and delete the occasional spam myself, but after deleting over twenty of them yesterday on OLD posts - ancient posts, to tell you the truth - I decided that even a gracious host would have to require a little extra effort from her guests.
So Spam filter on and posts ... Well, let's hope those will be on again too.
Anyhoo ... In the off chance that I post something again worthy of comments, I'd like to apologize in advance for turning on the spamming content filter.
For a while, I thought I could just go in and delete the occasional spam myself, but after deleting over twenty of them yesterday on OLD posts - ancient posts, to tell you the truth - I decided that even a gracious host would have to require a little extra effort from her guests.
So Spam filter on and posts ... Well, let's hope those will be on again too.
The To Do List
The list keeps getting longer. And despite how much I've already moved, gotten rid of, or stored away, there is an endless supply of more just waiting for me to decide what - if anything - I should do with it.
On top of that, I've appointments and so much miscellaneous paperwork to fill out, and calls to make to almost everyone who is anyone in the phone book, that my brain is close to nervous breakdown mode.
Appointments however are on the top of the to do this week. At present time we've two for the minor child, one for the cat, and one long overdue one with my hairdresser. And I think, if I can find the time this week - maybe Thursday, if all the planets align just right - I can get myself in for a much needed haircut. Goodbye and good riddance Cousin It!
Until then my dreams are filled with professional movers ...
On top of that, I've appointments and so much miscellaneous paperwork to fill out, and calls to make to almost everyone who is anyone in the phone book, that my brain is close to nervous breakdown mode.
Appointments however are on the top of the to do this week. At present time we've two for the minor child, one for the cat, and one long overdue one with my hairdresser. And I think, if I can find the time this week - maybe Thursday, if all the planets align just right - I can get myself in for a much needed haircut. Goodbye and good riddance Cousin It!
Until then my dreams are filled with professional movers ...
