So I'm thinking kayaking today. If the weather holds that is. And I hate to say it, let alone admit it, but as much as I love the whole paddling down a river thing, I still have yet to completely lose my going to tip over and drown fear.
I haven't a clue why it is the whole kayak on top of water sparks in me such fear. I mean, I do know how to swim and I'm not scared of water which pretty much makes my fear irrational or at least not making as much sense as some fears do.
Maybe I was traumatized as a child. Who am I kidding? Did I just say maybe? I WAS traumatized as a child. And I do remember it clearly. I was in a row boat and I couldn't get back to shore, and everyone on Terra firma was finding my situation highly entertaining while I was in tears on the boat. And yes, there is a picture to prove it and I do believe I've already posted it here. (But of course will do so again to make those responsible for it feel bad about making a Kodak moment out of one that has turned out to pour some rain on my whole like to go kayaking parade.)
And I don't have to wonder why life jackets are constantly on my mind, or why I always insist I go out on the water with more than just myself, or why I don't even trust myself (at least not yet) to take KC out alone without a third and more experienced kayaker with me.
I think eventually I'm going to desensitize myself to feeling all this fear, but for the moment it's a stumbling block on my fun parameter that I just need to slowly paddle through.
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