When and If I'll Be...

One would always think that one should know better, or in my case, that I should know better. But I am quite adept at stumbling and half falling down before I figure things out and set myself and my world back to rights. I've done a lot of that lately. Misstep after misstep, thinking as one foot is falling in front of the other that this time I'm doing the right thing; I'm making the right choice.

And just when I think maybe... Maybe this is it. Maybe this is what I've been waiting for with my fingers crossed and my heart all tied up in knots, reality strikes back with a kicking blow, a not so gentle reminder that nothing - at least not for me - is ever easy, and the white picket fence remains as always, out of reach...

And yet I keep doing this to myself. Putting my heart out there time and time again, betting the odds even when they're not in my favor, waiting for my gamble to come through, to pay off. And each maybe is like a breathless pause, the sound of a first hello, warm and excited eagerly awaiting an answering hello, a return of the spirit like gifts at Christmas time, wrapped in brightly colored paper and filled with hope.

Love is like that... Simple and easy with no expectations other than exactly what you've always been. Just you... And that is more than enough. All it takes is one hello.