Common Misconceptions

She sat on the other side of the table and I felt superior,
feeling so much smarter than she at her age as
I made a mental list in my head in order of importance,
checking them off.
Things that were non-negotiable,
things that no matter what I just wouldn't tolerate.

And I watched - listened too -
as he talked to her and shook my head.
Shook my head because I wished she knew that
he didn't really matter at all.
That what she really needed to do was to
take charge of her destiny,
and forget all about the little boy man who
threw fast balls at the heads of defenseless children,
taunting them to retaliate.

He's in Peter Pan world I would tell her.
Not ready to grow up.
And you deserve more than a man who treats you like dirt,
but calls you when there's no one else around,
and says come on over but I really don't want you here.

Men create women like her...
Women like me.

They tease us with false promises,
dangling precious pearls of hope,
pretending the one thing we want is just within our reach.
And we think we can make ourselves better.
We can win the prize if we just try harder,
if we change ourselves,
our expectations,
if we surrender our pride.

And after she left, he continued to complain.
I listened with one hand over my mouth not
wanting to create a stir
as he went through a littany of woe is me
and it's so hard to get rid of her.
And had I not been trying to be polite,
I might have clued him in.

Perhaps I might have said that
this is the cost of toying with a woman's heart.
The cost of manipulating her affections.
That it is his own actions which
have born the fruit of creating the woman who
sat silently by his side today.

She is not at fault.
Not for feeling the way she does.
Or for believing in his multitude of lies.
She is not at fault for wearing her heart out on her sleeve,
or holding it in her hands,
sitting at a table amongst a group of strangers thinking
pretty thoughts that being
there will make a difference.
(We both know that it won't.)

She is not at fault for the wanting of more
and the earning of less.
Nor should she look to him to validate her worth.

He is an empty pocketful of change,
and he could never afford such jewels.