One Moment For the Pity Party

How old is too old to run away from home? I asked myself this today just as I was getting ready to leave work. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just pick up and move; start over in a new place just KC and I away from anyone and everyone who knows anything about us. I'm just so tired. Tired of trying so damn hard, tired of wanting too darn much and tired of watching people walk in and out of my life according to their whims and then pretending that I'm perfectly okay to watch them go when all I want to do is drag them back and convince them to stay because I'm a good person... I really am... And someone, somewhere has got to see that... If I could just be more convincing...

Sure I know that running away would solve absolutely nothing, just like crying is only good for giving me a headache. But I'm full to the brim with tears tonight and no one around to help make them go away. So what is going to change in the next few moments other than sending off this post, collecting my books and going home?

What needs to change? What change has already occurred? When will I get myself together?