A Woman With Chances

Inside she knows that it's inevitable. Time could stand still, and yet there would still be a conclusion waiting in the wings. Fate is fickle that way. One day it seems like it's on your side, and the next it never had your best interests at heart.

She often wonders why it seems that fate is always against her. Things that work out for other people, never work out for her. And like the cheese, she stands alone. Always watching from the sidelines, always wishing for something more.

She wonders where the last ten years have gone, and worries that she'll lose the next ten in the exact same way. Waiting for something that doesn't exist except in the pages of all the books she's read. Imaginary people with imaginary lives that are so much more fulfilling than hers.

She knows that in every woman, there is a weakness in the wanting to be saved. She's quite familiar with that small kernel of hope; the light that shines despite the darkness. She tries to warm herself with that glow. With thoughts that someday she'll look behind her with the wisdom of a different age and know that the cost of a little while was worth the price of the bigger picture. But right now she feels the loss like a tear to her soul, and everything inside her bleeds out to run red across her world.

It doesn't make living in this moment any easier. It doesn't make the pain go away to know that eventually it will pass. She gets up each day hoping to make it through just one more day. To find that conclusion she's so ready to make. To say goodbye for what will be the very last time to all of her mistakes, both big and small. And because she's always believed in second chances, she'll give herself one more.