Act One, Scene Two, Take Three

They ask you, "Would you like to be the narrator in our play?" And you think to yourself, yes, why not? After all a narrator can't have that many lines... Easy.

And then they had you the script. And you read it. And your jaw drops to the floor as you realize what it is you've just done...

What they didn't say. What she didn't mention was who the narrator actually was in terms of the story. And in this case, narrator being the lead who says more than any other character has to say.

And you're screwed again for saying yes when you really meant no thanks. And you're stressed because next week is the big huzzah and you've got act one and act two mostly in the bag but act three doesn't happen unless the script is still in your hands.

Oh and the singing? Well the singing would be just fine. Your part that is. It's just singing with a woman who is completely tone deaf and rhythm-less that is making it difficult.

But all will be well. In fact, tonight they've decided to take it on the road to yet another church and everyone was so eager to do it and even though my lips kept trying to form the word no, it kept coming across as a sure, why not, yes...

Immediately after this thing is done, I'm going to sew my mouth together and go mute. It's the only way...