Asleep and Dreaming

I go to bed early... I have dreams all night, one in which included a guest appearance of Bobby Brown batting his eyelashes and crooning away on a stage set that looked suspiciously similar to the Price Is Right. Which as far as I'm concerned, fell more into the realm of just so wrong...

Wrong being continued on into the next movement which I have entitled the dare to keep kids off drugs portion of my dream and starts somehow with me being conned to watch a group of school kids in what appears to be an airport lounge. Now here's the odd thing... This one kid comes up to me, says he needs to use the bathroom and asks me if I'd keep an eye out for him. Now me in parental mode despite the fact that what I really am is asleep and completely unconscious to the world says sure, and proceeds to guard the door to the bathroom with the ferociousness of a mother bear when it occurs to me that the kid has been in there a really, really long time.

But I think to myself hey, he's in a pervert free bathroom, what harm could there be in letting him have his quality time if really needs it. And then I smell that smell. The smell that wafts under the door and into my memory banks. That same smell that made me the patsy standing guard at the door...

And so I go in, and the next thing I know my dream turns into a nightmare and there are these four teenage boys flushing joints down the drain left and right. Not really sure which part I want to classify as the nightmare, the boys smoking it, or the flushing of it part... But either way, I tell them to stay put because I am so getting their parents.

Back to the airport lounge, I half hide myself at the corner of a wall and begin doing the whole pssst, I'm trying to get your attention, could you please come over here thing. The main "leader" parent looks over at me, raises her eyebrows in a you need me now exasperated kind of way and then continues on with her lecture of vigilance and virtue and at this point bullshit.

My whispers get a little louder and soon I loose the whole have to hide behind the corner thing and come right out into the open until finally, the high priestess looks right at me and says, "What?"

"I need you to come here," I tell her, "Quickly." The woman moves like molasses. "A little quicker," I implore again. She moves even slower. Finally I've no choice but to shout out my request, "Quickly. As in moving yourself in my direction with utmost haste and agility." Because as we all know, or at least I know, shouting the defintion of a word is the only true way to motivate someone.

That being said, I'm up early this morning, because I have errands to run before work and now that I've wasted an hour of my time to write all this down and will surely pay for it by having to rush now like the proverbial chicken with her head cut off, it's time for me to fly this coop.