Time & Consideration

"Rejection doesn't maim. It kills."

If memory serves me right, I believe this quote comes from one of my favorite movies, The Truth About Cats and Dogs. Except today, it's disappointment rather than rejection, or maybe even a little bit of both, that will be showing its face today.

Have you ever known right at the beginning of your day that it's not going to go the way you want it to? You keep your fingers crossed, and say a prayer that it will all work itself out in the end, even as you're already sure you'll find yourself sitting home alone on a Friday night.

And you'll feel miserable, and you'll feel like no excuse will ever do when you're the one who keeps getting shoved around everybody else's schedule and no one gives a damn about yours. And you'll wonder what it's all worth, leaving your self and your heart open and vulnerable for the one man who can make you happy one second and miserable the next. And even though you want to have faith in him, you realize the track record isn't good, you've been cancelled so many times, you've stopped asking him questions, because you're tired of hearing the word no.

Still you're hoping he won't let you down tonight. That little flame of hope that lingers, waiting to spark. Anything to stop the tears you've already started to cry, when things begin to feel distant and cold. So you send him a message, hoping it will get through to him, that you're standing on the edge waiting for him to pull you back, rather than allowing you to go over alone.