Talking Outside Ourselves

As human beings we are quite complex. Who we are and what we become is a process learned from the very moment we take our first breath of air. Memories from childhood are time stamped on our hearts and minds, and sometimes without even knowing the reactions they illicit from us as adults, the reasons for why we feel the way we do don't always seem that clear.

Sometimes it takes talking to an outsider. A third person. Someone who knows you not by whose daughter you are, of whose mother you are, or whose sister you are, but by the pictures you paint and the stories you choose to share. And you can tell them anything. Say whatever you want and you know that whatever you say won't leave the room you've told it in.

It is a trust. A trust to tell your most secret thoughts, or cry your most secret fears and know that your words are protected and safe. And it is a Godsend to let the things you've been holding onto go. Or feel confident enough to believe in yourself again and trust once more that the choices you make are solid and won't turn to quicksand beneath your feet.

It takes learning about yourself from the inside out to understand how your life has been shaped. And it is this same learning that allows you room to grow, and the ability to change.

I have learned many things these past few months.

Some demons need to be chased down, and looked at dead center before they'll abandon their post beneath your bed. Some fears need to be faced before they can fade away into the oblivion they belong in. Some beliefs need to be challenged in a way that the truth of what is will never be confused with the truth of what was. And sometimes it's okay to be the one who needs a hand to hold, and a shoulder to cry on. Because true strength is as strong as your greatest weakness. And true weakness is not asking for help when it's the one thing that you need.

Life as enjoyable as it can be, often has its rough patches, places and times when nothing seems to come very easy at all. But if you make it through that cold and lonely winter to the thaw, the Spring brings blooms as bountiful as they are bold.