I heard something tonight that made me sit up and take notice, enough to take the pen from behind my ear and write it down less I should forget. Our discussion tonight in small group centered on the beginnings of spirituality.
"I've always believed that God answers our prayers in one of three ways," said Marcia, "Yes, no or wait. And sometimes the waiting isn't really for you but for someone else who needs more time." And just like that, I got it in a way I hadn't quite grasped it before. Understanding it as the possibility that whatever the reason for the wait - it's not necessarily on hold because of me.
In other words... I'm okay. And it's alright to retrieve my self-esteem from the trash.
That my friends is a spiritual moment. The moment when your breath catches and your eyes boast a new awareness; a spark of knowledge that warms you from inside out. The moment when you know the past and the path you strayed from can coexist with the bright new future just ahead.
The lesson I walked away with tonight is simple. Ease up...
Don't be your own worst judge. Don't think because you're not where you want to be right now you've no hope of ever getting there at all.
Don't put life on hold to make it perfect. Don't believe you've got to be like everyone else to achieve your goals and dreams.
Believe in other people. Believe in people who believe in you.
Be thankful for what you have. Be grateful for unexpected blessings.
Be honest and true. And seek that same clarity in others.
Find joy and that joy will find you...
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1 comment:
That is the hardest thing, I've found, well next to finding God for real so you aren't embarrassed to talk about Him.
Waiting on His perfect will. We, as humans, rush and force our own will all the time. The hardest thing, it seems, is to slow down to God-speed and allow His perfect plan to unfold.
I spent most of my life being lost, I was 'saved' and then I did my own thing again for a handful of years until my accident two years ago. I don't think it was helplessness that led me back to desiring closeness with God. It was just there, when I slowed down enough to pay attention to it.
I used to spend all my time working hard to put warheads on foreheads and make way too much money. Now, although I still miss killin bad guys, I pay attention to the awesome things that God blesses me with. In the past two years since my 'slowing down', I have come up with my idea of what would be the perfect plan and then, since I have not rushed and forced my plan, God unfolds His perfect plan and I am amazed at how perfectly things fall into place and I have been blessed, not only beyond anything I imagined, but also in ways I didn't even consider.
Holy crap, I guess that's a long enough comment.
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