So I did it... I gave notice today to my current job so why my stomach is still upset and unable to handle even the smallest bite of food is beyond me. I feel like throwing up or maybe sleeping and quite possibly both although not at the same time.
I'm exhausted. I got zippo sleep last night regardless of popping a melatonin pill before heading upstairs to bed and closing my eyes. I didn't help my chances of getting back to sleep either when I picked up a book and began to read... Half a finished book later it was almost 4 in the morning and my alarm was set to go off at 6.
So here we are... Upset tummy, a final notice of resignation given to current job, a head that literally needs to hit the pillow and no energy to crawl up the stairs.
The Noise In My Head
Shhh...
Tell my thoughts to stop their thinking.
Tell my doubts to let their well run dry.
Tell my head it's not my heart and my heart to stop questioning why.
Let a moment be a moment,
Let a day just be a day.
Let the worries that I carry not take my joys away.
Let the smiles and the laughter be enough to keep the faith
that the road will lead me places that your heart will want to stay.
SLA
I tried not to get in my head and failed quite miserably. So much for just taking things by the second, by the minute, by the hour, by the day...
Not quite sure what the fallout is yet but I have a feeling that radio silence is most likely going to become the new norm from his end which means I will answer in kind if only to match the perceived effort or lack thereof.
I really wish we could all just be straight up and honest with the people we let into our lives regardless of the amount of time in which they might stay there. I wish people could just come to the table, lay down their cards and if it turns out that they want to cash their hand in and move on, they simply say so. You can exit stage right without hurting a soul if you make it clear you're leaving. It's the gradual disappearance, the overnight change in talking every day to going days without any contact that leaves a person with a thousand questions and a self assessment that literally focusses blame (right or wrong) on every word and action.
Maybe I screwed up letting him know how much I liked him far too soon. Maybe what I thought was low-key turned out to be too much, too fast, too me. I don't know. I thought that I was being avant garde with my here I am, what do you say approach. Maybe it isn't anything to do with me at all... Maybe there's not even a problem and this thought that we're on a collision course for leaving is all in my head.
The thing is if you don't nail down how to communicate with each other right from the start you just don't know and not knowing can inadvertently do more harm than good. So the question remains... Do I attempt to communicate once more or do I wait for him to let me know where he stands because I'm not really sure how to interpret his 10-4.
SLA
I tried not to get in my head and failed quite miserably. So much for just taking things by the second, by the minute, by the hour, by the day...
Not quite sure what the fallout is yet but I have a feeling that radio silence is most likely going to become the new norm from his end which means I will answer in kind if only to match the perceived effort or lack thereof.
I really wish we could all just be straight up and honest with the people we let into our lives regardless of the amount of time in which they might stay there. I wish people could just come to the table, lay down their cards and if it turns out that they want to cash their hand in and move on, they simply say so. You can exit stage right without hurting a soul if you make it clear you're leaving. It's the gradual disappearance, the overnight change in talking every day to going days without any contact that leaves a person with a thousand questions and a self assessment that literally focusses blame (right or wrong) on every word and action.
Maybe I screwed up letting him know how much I liked him far too soon. Maybe what I thought was low-key turned out to be too much, too fast, too me. I don't know. I thought that I was being avant garde with my here I am, what do you say approach. Maybe it isn't anything to do with me at all... Maybe there's not even a problem and this thought that we're on a collision course for leaving is all in my head.
The thing is if you don't nail down how to communicate with each other right from the start you just don't know and not knowing can inadvertently do more harm than good. So the question remains... Do I attempt to communicate once more or do I wait for him to let me know where he stands because I'm not really sure how to interpret his 10-4.
Spectrum - There's a reason Rum is in their name
Holy Hannah!
After an hour long cantankerous odyssey arguing with Spectrum on the validity of an overcharge of $200 I would like to announce that I have come out victorious.
My nerves however are shot... Right along with my patience, my hopes, my dreams and right now even my will to live.
Seriously this company is just so fucked up in their small minded heads that even I can't wrap mine around it. Shady as fuck is the only terminology that truly seems to apply.
My blood pressure is through the roof, my anxiety is in full motion and thanks to New Year's I at least have a bottle of rum and a bottle of pineapple to mix together and make the next few minutes better than the 60 that just came before.
New Year - New You is a resolution that #Spectrum ought to be making.
After an hour long cantankerous odyssey arguing with Spectrum on the validity of an overcharge of $200 I would like to announce that I have come out victorious.
My nerves however are shot... Right along with my patience, my hopes, my dreams and right now even my will to live.
Seriously this company is just so fucked up in their small minded heads that even I can't wrap mine around it. Shady as fuck is the only terminology that truly seems to apply.
My blood pressure is through the roof, my anxiety is in full motion and thanks to New Year's I at least have a bottle of rum and a bottle of pineapple to mix together and make the next few minutes better than the 60 that just came before.
New Year - New You is a resolution that #Spectrum ought to be making.
What if? The question and quite possibly the answer...
My what if thoughts are really this…
What if things work or don’t work out exactly the way they’re supposed to. What if the job you didn’t take, the appointment you missed, the random stop for coffee at the little shop on the corner, what if all these little random moments aren’t so random after all? What if the choices you made – even the bad ones – were the ones you had to make in order to reach your true destination. What if there is no such thing as random? What if everything has intention, push and pull behind it? What if every choice made – right or wrong – is the right choice even when wrong?
What if we’re meant to live exactly the lives we’re living to meet the people we meet in order to become the people we are so we can meet the people we’ve always been meant to know?
What if is infinite…
It began before either of our stories began, long before you knew there was an I and I knew there was a you. Long before people like Patrick met Nancy and Eugene met Fran. So long ago in fact that the only thing we can believe in is that somehow we’re walking a part of a path that started with the footsteps of someone else and it’s our footsteps that someone else will be following one day…
Words of Wisdom
This too shall pass.
There may not be enough numbers in the universe to count how many times this little quip has been thrown about. This simple statement covers just about any stumbling block or bump in the road regardless of size.
And at the end of the day, it's always good to be reminded that dark days do have a time limit and eventually either like a spring rain or a kidney stone, they pass.
It's a little sad however that the only other phrase popping into my head right now is "I'll give you something to cry about,"but I guess somehow in my mind these two go together as a sort of yin and yang, at least in my memory banks. Not a lot of wisdom in the second set of words but they were heard often enough around the dinner table when more than just vegetables were part of the equation that like a parasite its attached itself whether it belongs there or not.
Still the true wisdom is knowing what to do with the takeaway from a passing moment. Every situation has an opportunity to be a lesson learned (wanted or not) it's not enough to simply just wait for time to do its thing if its thing is only to clean the slate and wipe the board clean. We enlightened humans need to learn.
Maybe we learn how to cry and the lesson in not in the tears but in the letting go. Maybe we learn how to laugh and the lesson is not to overthink the things that don't mean as much as we thought. Or maybe we learn that the best way out is through, hard roads are high roads, people that are wrong aren't ever going to be right, doing the right thing first saves a lot of wasted time later. I could go on... And on... And on.
Einstein probably was a this too shall pass kind of guy... After all he was the guy who said (and I'll paraphrase) that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results was pretty much the definition of insanity. I'm pretty sure he would have been a strong proponent for making sure he got the big picture viewing after a this too shall pass moment. He wouldn't have wasted the opportunity to breathe a sigh (and I think it would have been a long exasperated one) of relief before immediately setting his sights on working out a logical equation to never, ever have to repeat the experience again.
This too shall pass is another way of saying, "I have learned."
There may not be enough numbers in the universe to count how many times this little quip has been thrown about. This simple statement covers just about any stumbling block or bump in the road regardless of size.
And at the end of the day, it's always good to be reminded that dark days do have a time limit and eventually either like a spring rain or a kidney stone, they pass.
It's a little sad however that the only other phrase popping into my head right now is "I'll give you something to cry about,"but I guess somehow in my mind these two go together as a sort of yin and yang, at least in my memory banks. Not a lot of wisdom in the second set of words but they were heard often enough around the dinner table when more than just vegetables were part of the equation that like a parasite its attached itself whether it belongs there or not.
Still the true wisdom is knowing what to do with the takeaway from a passing moment. Every situation has an opportunity to be a lesson learned (wanted or not) it's not enough to simply just wait for time to do its thing if its thing is only to clean the slate and wipe the board clean. We enlightened humans need to learn.
Maybe we learn how to cry and the lesson in not in the tears but in the letting go. Maybe we learn how to laugh and the lesson is not to overthink the things that don't mean as much as we thought. Or maybe we learn that the best way out is through, hard roads are high roads, people that are wrong aren't ever going to be right, doing the right thing first saves a lot of wasted time later. I could go on... And on... And on.
Einstein probably was a this too shall pass kind of guy... After all he was the guy who said (and I'll paraphrase) that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results was pretty much the definition of insanity. I'm pretty sure he would have been a strong proponent for making sure he got the big picture viewing after a this too shall pass moment. He wouldn't have wasted the opportunity to breathe a sigh (and I think it would have been a long exasperated one) of relief before immediately setting his sights on working out a logical equation to never, ever have to repeat the experience again.
This too shall pass is another way of saying, "I have learned."
All Good Things
Life changes in a blink. People, pets, places... And like the songs says you've got to just try to keep on keeping on...
I could have been thrown for a few loops this year. I left a job after nineteen years, I broke up with a boyfriend after two, I lost my first cat Emma this summer at the cusp of eighteen and I lost my Sophie just two shorts weeks ago after nine. It's a wonder I'm not knee deep in a bottle right now with no intention of trying to find my way out.
Instead I'm doing alright and maybe even a lot better than just okay.
I have a precocious pup (Phineas) that just joined our troupe not even a full two days ago. I have my lovely little Lucy girl sleeping at my feet. My Cooper kitten is a year old and growing into a big old playful tom.
I left a job that was taking more than it was providing and gained the confidence to make big changes. Changes which I'm still taking a leap of faith to make. And the ex-boyfriend, well he was a taker too...
He took my joy and pressed it under his thumb of expectations. Our relationship was another job, well at least for me. Make him breakfast, make him lunch, make him dinner, do his laundry, drive him to wherever it was he wanted to go while catering to his every whim and want all the while my whims, wants and expectations were never even up for discussion. The end of that relationship was a blessing to just say no.
So I'm not going to end this year feeling sad or melancholy... I'm going to focus on my joy, the people and pets I love, the opportunities that I still have to take and a guy who makes me smile just by saying his name... Life is good.
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| Emma and Sophie |
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| Cooper, Sophie and Lucy |
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| Lucy |
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| Sophie and Lucy |
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| Phineas aka Phnny |
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| Cooper |
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| Emma |
All The Feels
Day 6: 5 Ways to Win My Heart
I almost made it to 4 a.m. this morning before sleep decided that I had had enough, so rather than try to pretend there’s any chance of going back to bed and getting any more shut eye, I present to you my blog post…
The truth is rum doesn’t ever factor into the equation… And I am of the mindset that love isn’t nearly as complicated as people try to make it out to be. Love to me is all about the small things that take up the most room in your heart. It’s the little things you do and say, the way you smile and how you laugh. The way your heart feels on fire simply by remembering something that your someone said or did that told you in a thousand different ways that you are loved, respected and cherished. Love makes you believe in possibility. It’s knowing someone is always going to be there with a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on and the belief that together everything is going to be okay.
It’s respecting your time together and your time apart. It’s the give and take of being all in but at the same time recognizing the need for personal space. In order to be the best me and the best you there has to be room to just be ourselves and you figure out together how that works. Maybe I need a few hours to get lost in a book or dig in my garden… Maybe you need an hour or two to get out of the house to enjoy a beer, a conversation with friends and have a chicken wing or two. Either way that time apart only serves to make time together better spent.
But time as a concept is equally tied to effort…
Grand gestures and elaborate plans while perhaps having their moments at some time and some point are not needed as the norm. Effort to me is showing up, being present and accounted for. It’s saying without saying, “You’re my person.” And when you’re my person you won’t ever have to ask when or if I’ll be there for you, it’s the given.
Maybe it’s a silly way to describe it but I think of things like if you had six cords of wood delivered that needed stacking, you’d never even need to ask whether or not I’d be there to help. I’d have my gloves in hand and be out to the wood pile ready to get the job done… Relationships are work and require effort, they are a job that needs to get done efficiently and correctly. Anyone who has ever stacked a pile of wood knows that you have to stack it right from the first piece of wood down in order for it to stay standing.
And you stand by being part of a team. In taking our combined strengths and balancing out our combined weaknesses to find balance, that place in a relationship when no one is holding too many or too few of the cards while realizing that there may be times when the balance moves from one side to the other in slight adjustments until it equalizes out once more.
Always talk to me… Talk to me about the mundane things like how was your day, what you learned, what you heard… And then tell me about your dreams, your passions and your concerns. Tell me about what makes you happy, tell me about what makes you sad. Explain to my why you’re angry or upset or tell me I don’t want to talk right now, but I promise we will later. Communication is everything. You cannot shut the door and lock someone out without making them feel cold and inconsequential. Just leave the door ajar until you’re ready to find your words again…
Truly however the best way to win my heart is to make me laugh… Love is hidden in the laughter. It’s wrapped up in silliness. It’s the smile that lasts for hours and days and months and for the lucky a lifetime. Life if short, joy is forever…
And lastly though I do believe this qualifies now as my sixth line item please love, like or happily tolerate my family and by default expect the very same from me. These are my people, all holding a special place in my heart, they are what makes me more me and are a marking spot on my joy meter. I may not always like them 100%, I may want to occasionally swat one of my sister’s on the back of her head and roll my eyes more times than I can count when my daughter is in diva mode but I love them always and there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for them whenever and wherever that need arose.
This concludes my essay on why you should now you run scared for the hills… I’m as real as real gets and that means I ask for as much as I expect to give without any apology or qualms that what I need may be asking too much. For love it’s got to be everything.
2018 - The Year of Changes
It is 4 a.m. and I'm awake. Not just awake, roll over look at the clock and go back to sleep awake but awake drinking coffee not going back to bed awake. I blame going to bed too early for the predicament I find myself in this morning. All in all not good as I'm out of town for work, practically a stones throw away from Canada in Northern NY and have three appointments and about three and a half hours of driving to get back home in order to start my weekend but better yet my vacation.
I won't complain too much though because in a year of change I'm setting about ending it with yet another. Let me catch you up to date...
In July I left my job of nineteen years. Something about spending my entire life at my job and living out of my office, a suitcase and an airport got tiring. Worst yet my compensation in no way reflected the amount of work I did for and on behalf of that company. I gave them everything and at the end of the day they just couldn't do the right thing, at least not until I gave my notice which was a little too little and a lot too late.
So I moved on to my present employer and honestly I can't say enough good things about them. They get it. They've done the right thing since day one. My co-workers, my boss... They're all great people. My boss especially... The man is a whirling dervish of dedication and drive. A salesman who lives, eats, breathes and loves the product he sells, the job he does and the people he interacts with. If I didn't need what I know I need to be successful, I'd want to emulate him in the role I'm playing right now.
This role however is not for me... And while there is a part of me that feels as if I'm giving up too soon, a bigger part of me is more relieved to know that the job offer on the table will still support the job I do and the company I currently work for but will give me the structure I am so desperately craving to return to.
I'm not an outside salesperson. I'm an inside manager who travels as needed. Who keeps her finger on the button of control and keeps everything in front of her organized to the tenth degree. This person I've been trying to be gets lost behind the windshield of her car and feels displaced, out of touch and unable to feel the pulse of the job itself. In other words ineffective...
I've actually cried a few times in the last six months from the pressure of feeling for lack of a better word untethered and un-pressured. And that's the thing, in this job those are the last two feelings I should feel. If anything, I should feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and the drive to be the best. But all I feel is lost and disconnected in an environment that leaves too much time for thinking too much about things that won't lead to my success and makes me doubt my ability to do the job as I know it needs to and should be done.
I'd like to think that my leaving will actually play out better for my boss and my job. I'll become their customer and in my new role, I will absolutely sell - the way I know how to sell - the product, the brand and the reputation of my current company in a way that works for me, grounded with my feet on the floor, a desk in front of me, a steady stream of customers and projects to manage with my finger on the pulse of each and every single neuron. This is what works for me, this is where I excel and this is where I have to go...
I won't complain too much though because in a year of change I'm setting about ending it with yet another. Let me catch you up to date...
In July I left my job of nineteen years. Something about spending my entire life at my job and living out of my office, a suitcase and an airport got tiring. Worst yet my compensation in no way reflected the amount of work I did for and on behalf of that company. I gave them everything and at the end of the day they just couldn't do the right thing, at least not until I gave my notice which was a little too little and a lot too late.
So I moved on to my present employer and honestly I can't say enough good things about them. They get it. They've done the right thing since day one. My co-workers, my boss... They're all great people. My boss especially... The man is a whirling dervish of dedication and drive. A salesman who lives, eats, breathes and loves the product he sells, the job he does and the people he interacts with. If I didn't need what I know I need to be successful, I'd want to emulate him in the role I'm playing right now.
This role however is not for me... And while there is a part of me that feels as if I'm giving up too soon, a bigger part of me is more relieved to know that the job offer on the table will still support the job I do and the company I currently work for but will give me the structure I am so desperately craving to return to.
I'm not an outside salesperson. I'm an inside manager who travels as needed. Who keeps her finger on the button of control and keeps everything in front of her organized to the tenth degree. This person I've been trying to be gets lost behind the windshield of her car and feels displaced, out of touch and unable to feel the pulse of the job itself. In other words ineffective...
I've actually cried a few times in the last six months from the pressure of feeling for lack of a better word untethered and un-pressured. And that's the thing, in this job those are the last two feelings I should feel. If anything, I should feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and the drive to be the best. But all I feel is lost and disconnected in an environment that leaves too much time for thinking too much about things that won't lead to my success and makes me doubt my ability to do the job as I know it needs to and should be done.
I'd like to think that my leaving will actually play out better for my boss and my job. I'll become their customer and in my new role, I will absolutely sell - the way I know how to sell - the product, the brand and the reputation of my current company in a way that works for me, grounded with my feet on the floor, a desk in front of me, a steady stream of customers and projects to manage with my finger on the pulse of each and every single neuron. This is what works for me, this is where I excel and this is where I have to go...
Pet Peeves: Top 3
In no paticular order of importance and annoyance…
- Inconsistency and/or a general lack of dependability. As defined by the feeling you get when plans have been made and you’re ready and waiting on your end only to get the call, message, text that the other party has changed their mind and is cancelling. Further defined as something that happens on a consistent basis and is not a one off. Also see: Obviously kicking a dead horse. Followed by just plan on going alone. Also defined as disappointment, a constant let down and a breeding ground for trust issues.
- Bad customer service. As defined by being ignored, being spoken to rudely, having to find your waiter fifteen minutes after asking for a to go box in order to get the check so you can pay and leave, standing in line in any store where the cashier is too busy talking to another employee to cash you out or cashes you out without ever acknowledging that you’re standing in front of them. An employee who hates their job and makes sure you know it the entire time you’re interacting with them. Also defined as indifference and apathy and the reason why you stop shopping and/or eating at certain establishments.
- People who eat pretzels. As defined as the extraordinarily loud sound a person emits when eating hard, crunchy pretzels making it necessary for you to leave the room so as not to hear them chew because the sound of their chewing literally makes you want to throttle them. Also see: slurping hamburgers.
Old Thoughts Republshed
Small things change you and small things save you.
And life, no matter how hard it gets or what it throws at you, or who it brings to you or even who it takes from you goes on...
And life, no matter how hard it gets or what it throws at you, or who it brings to you or even who it takes from you goes on...
Transitions
My house is an absolute clusterfuck right now. Big boxes, small boxes, pieces of this for that and that for this litter every single room in my small cottage. Who would have thought that a simple, and yes, I know now that simple is not the right word, bathroom renovation could cause such chaos. But complete and utter chaos is where we're at. I can't think with this overabundance of clutter. In fact, I think this clutter is really the psychical manifestation of a multitude of inner conflicts. It seems I have some decisions to make that go beyond style and color and I do believe it's time to make them...
Losing Sophie
In an hour and a half my vet will be here and my Sophie who is napping will soon be asleep forever. I can't pretend I'm okay with any of this. My puffy eyes and my throbbing head should be enough to prove that today is something I don't want to do. But wanting has nothing to do with it because this needs to be done. Sophie would hold out forever or until her little body absolutely couldn't take the pain anymore to stay by my side. But I don't want her to do that for me... So today I'll take her pain and I will carry it for her so her little body can rest... God grant me the courage to let her go with grace.
Cooper
Introducing our new harbinger of death, the lord of chaos and utter destruction... His royal toe biting, 3 am sleeping dog attacking master of mischief and king of disdainful looks... Cooper.
Perfection
It took me 41 years to finally experience the perfect date... The kind of date where you just never want it to end. And I think there's both promise and potential here... He's already made plans for date number two and I've never wanted a week to move faster than I do right now... I'm totally putting the cart before the horse but I think there's a good chance this just might move in the direction of...
Dating: A follow up
I need a new laptop. Preferably one that works. So much to say, so much to tell, and of course more than a few stories that will make you laugh, cry, and quite possibly wonder why it is I never seen to figure out the lesson without having to learn it more than just a few times. I always say for a reasonably intelligent woman, I can be awfully stupid sometimes...
Take my recent foray back into the dating world which quite frankly is a cesspool of fish I'd rather throwback than catch. Two nights ago I met with a gentleman named Mike. At first Mike seemed like a nice guy, he was tall - at least 6 feet, broad shoulders, held the door open for me and had the ability to carry on a conversation. Unfortunately that conversation revolved around both of his ex-wives for over two hours. At one point I remember grabbing my purse and slinging it over my shoulder in what must've been a somewhat not-so-subtle sign that I was ready to go... He however must have interpreted that to mean tell me more and so he did...
After another hour of intense listening and nodding my head a few times to keep from nodding off we made our way back to his car and in turn back to mine where we shared that always delightful moment of going our separate ways. (I've got to admit I've had little to no practice saying Sayanora at the end of a date being that I'm the queen of really bad decisions... And trust me, we'll talk about HIM later.)
So there we were in that awkward moment when two people just kind of stare at each other without really knowing what to do or say and so I said goodbye, gave a wave and drove off into the sunset. He sent me a message the next day that said, " I don't think we're comparable." And since I didn't think we were compatible (and who knows probably not comparable either), I agreed.
Score one for me for getting to this juncture of our not going to happen relationship without sleeping with him because really this IS a proud moment.
Take my recent foray back into the dating world which quite frankly is a cesspool of fish I'd rather throwback than catch. Two nights ago I met with a gentleman named Mike. At first Mike seemed like a nice guy, he was tall - at least 6 feet, broad shoulders, held the door open for me and had the ability to carry on a conversation. Unfortunately that conversation revolved around both of his ex-wives for over two hours. At one point I remember grabbing my purse and slinging it over my shoulder in what must've been a somewhat not-so-subtle sign that I was ready to go... He however must have interpreted that to mean tell me more and so he did...
After another hour of intense listening and nodding my head a few times to keep from nodding off we made our way back to his car and in turn back to mine where we shared that always delightful moment of going our separate ways. (I've got to admit I've had little to no practice saying Sayanora at the end of a date being that I'm the queen of really bad decisions... And trust me, we'll talk about HIM later.)
So there we were in that awkward moment when two people just kind of stare at each other without really knowing what to do or say and so I said goodbye, gave a wave and drove off into the sunset. He sent me a message the next day that said, " I don't think we're comparable." And since I didn't think we were compatible (and who knows probably not comparable either), I agreed.
Score one for me for getting to this juncture of our not going to happen relationship without sleeping with him because really this IS a proud moment.
Sunday In the Garden
A day spent in the garden is quite honestly my idea of a good time. I'm a mess from head to toe but I'm completely in throw the seat back and relax mode. That's not to say that there won't be two Tylenol in my future because oh yes, there will be two Tylenol in my future very soon. But it was a happy day that now is edging into a quiet night which (insert sigh of contentedness here) I am more than ready for...
Early To Bed Far Too Early To Rise
So what do you get when you go to bed too early? You get the joy of waking up in the middle of the night long before your alarm even thinks about waking you up. The only good thing about being awake when the rest of the world is mostly fast asleep is the absolute silence. Everything is so still and quiet save for the distant rumbling of a garbage truck making its rounds somewhere down the street.
I don't mind so much being awake. It's moments like these when I find my head clear and free of the business of the day. Thoughts come and go without form or reason, free to be as they are with neither pomp or circumstance to get in the way. I am a night thinker and a day dreamer...
I don't mind so much being awake. It's moments like these when I find my head clear and free of the business of the day. Thoughts come and go without form or reason, free to be as they are with neither pomp or circumstance to get in the way. I am a night thinker and a day dreamer...
Wah Wah Wah
Accidental words after months spent avoiding you and here I am crying myself to sleep tonight. Every time I think I've got my heart under control she goes and proves me wrong. Stupid heart. Stupid love.
Almost Completely Random
Random things I'm thinking so I have something to post about...
I love fall. It's by far my most favorite season.
The Stacey's Mom song is playing right now on a TV commercial. I was over this song the very first time I heard it.
I am drinking a hot cup of Green Tea. I am out of milk.
Today I punched in to work at 7:45 this morning. I did not punch out from work until 9:26 this evening. I am really getting to the point of hating my job and upper management who doesn't seem to think that I should have a personal life from August to November.
I do not get paid overtime. Instead I fall into a category called salary flux. This means that the more hours I work over my forty, the less I actually make per hour for anything above and beyond. I like to call it getting screwed without so much as a thank you...
I am not a fan of tennis. (This thought brought by the local sports section of the nightly news.)
Considering what time I have to be up and out the door tomorrow morning I should be in bed. Problem is my sleep schedule is so out of whack, I'm not the least bit tired.
I will be absolutely exhausted when my alarm goes off at 5:30 tomorrow morning.
I'm just realizing that it may not have been the best idea to have a cup of tea now.
I have another bag of garbage that I could take out to the curb tonight but I'm too lazy to do it now and willing to use the fact that I'm afraid of the dark as an excuse to leave it until Thursday.
Supposedly gas prices are going to start dropping... I'll wait until I actually see this before I'll believe this.
I've been awfully whiny, weepy, and really not a person even I would want to be around lately. I need to figure out how to fix this soon.
I bought two new coffee mugs. They are a very pretty light blue color. I need to go buy two more before there aren't any more to be found at Target.
I missed the season premier of Big Bang Theory... I am sort of pissed about that but thankful I have prime time on demand...
I am nursing this cup of tea.
I think I might be starting to get maybe a little bit tired.
The fact that I just yawned probably supports that theory.
I saw a funny thing on Pinterest... I am going to add this to my photo collection that I have on my scrolling picture frame at work.
I may have to just make one for each day of the week.
On that note I've now met my requirement for writing today so I can go to bed now that my homework is done.
Tell you what... If you happen to find yourself reading this why don't you use the comment section to just say hi...
I am not beyond begging...
No really.
I'm not.
I love fall. It's by far my most favorite season.
The Stacey's Mom song is playing right now on a TV commercial. I was over this song the very first time I heard it.
I am drinking a hot cup of Green Tea. I am out of milk.
Today I punched in to work at 7:45 this morning. I did not punch out from work until 9:26 this evening. I am really getting to the point of hating my job and upper management who doesn't seem to think that I should have a personal life from August to November.
I do not get paid overtime. Instead I fall into a category called salary flux. This means that the more hours I work over my forty, the less I actually make per hour for anything above and beyond. I like to call it getting screwed without so much as a thank you...
I am not a fan of tennis. (This thought brought by the local sports section of the nightly news.)
Considering what time I have to be up and out the door tomorrow morning I should be in bed. Problem is my sleep schedule is so out of whack, I'm not the least bit tired.
I will be absolutely exhausted when my alarm goes off at 5:30 tomorrow morning.
I'm just realizing that it may not have been the best idea to have a cup of tea now.
I have another bag of garbage that I could take out to the curb tonight but I'm too lazy to do it now and willing to use the fact that I'm afraid of the dark as an excuse to leave it until Thursday.
Supposedly gas prices are going to start dropping... I'll wait until I actually see this before I'll believe this.
I've been awfully whiny, weepy, and really not a person even I would want to be around lately. I need to figure out how to fix this soon.
I bought two new coffee mugs. They are a very pretty light blue color. I need to go buy two more before there aren't any more to be found at Target.
I missed the season premier of Big Bang Theory... I am sort of pissed about that but thankful I have prime time on demand...
I am nursing this cup of tea.
I think I might be starting to get maybe a little bit tired.
The fact that I just yawned probably supports that theory.
I saw a funny thing on Pinterest... I am going to add this to my photo collection that I have on my scrolling picture frame at work.
I may have to just make one for each day of the week.
On that note I've now met my requirement for writing today so I can go to bed now that my homework is done.
Tell you what... If you happen to find yourself reading this why don't you use the comment section to just say hi...
I am not beyond begging...
No really.
I'm not.
