The Noise In My Head

Shhh...

Tell my thoughts to stop their thinking.
Tell my doubts to let their well run dry.
Tell my head it's not my heart and my heart to stop questioning why.
Let a moment be a moment,
Let a day just be a day.
Let the worries that I carry not take my joys away.
Let the smiles and the laughter be enough to keep the faith
that the road will lead me places that your heart will want to stay.

SLA

I tried not to get in my head and failed quite miserably.  So much for just taking things by the second, by the minute, by the hour, by the day...

Not quite sure what the fallout is yet but I have a feeling that radio silence is most likely going to become the new norm from his end which means I will answer in kind if only to match the perceived effort or lack thereof.

I really wish we could all just be straight up and honest with the people we let into our lives regardless of the amount of time in which they might stay there.  I wish people could just come to the table, lay down their cards and if it turns out that they want to cash their hand in and move on, they simply say so.  You can exit stage right without hurting a soul if you make it clear you're leaving.  It's the gradual disappearance, the overnight change in talking every day to going days without any contact that leaves a person with a thousand questions and a self assessment that literally focusses blame (right or wrong) on every word and action.

Maybe I screwed up letting him know how much I liked him far too soon.  Maybe what I thought was low-key turned out to be too much, too fast, too me.  I don't know.  I thought that I was being avant garde with my here I am, what do you say approach.  Maybe it isn't anything to do with me at all... Maybe there's not even a problem and this thought that we're on a collision course for leaving is all in my head.

The thing is if you don't nail down how to communicate with each other right from the start you just don't know and not knowing can inadvertently do more harm than good.  So the question remains... Do I attempt to communicate once more or do I wait for him to let me know where he stands because I'm not really sure how to interpret his 10-4.

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