I'm a busy bee this morning, having already done 2 loads of laundry, one load of dishes, and picked up the living room, though to be frank I'm taking a wee break before moving on to the dreaded dining room and the closet that resides there. The closet that is a catch all for everything and anything. I'm almost scared to open its door.
Strange odd night last night. KC and I were coming home from Brenda's via our usual route when about 10 minutes from home, there was a police barricade blocking all lanes. At first I thought it must be some sort of sobriety check point, but as we inched up closer to the state troopers, I watched them with flashlights in hand checking each and every vehicle from front to back. I was a little nervous just for the sake of being nervous as we pulled up, and felt a little dumb when the trooper began asking me questions.
Turning my head away a slight bit as he flashed his flashlight directly in my face, he began asking me questions. "Where are you headed this evening." My mind blanked for a second before I managed to stutter out the word "home".
"And where is home?" he pressed.
"Blankety Blank Road." I said. He then turned his flashlight into the back seat of our car, shining it on KC.
"How old is the girl?"
"Nine." I answered.
"Alright then," he said giving me a nod and a wave forward, "You can go."
I have to admit it freaked me out quite a bit. It's an odd feeling you get being questioned by a complete stranger and wondering if they're thinking that your kid is not your kid. I was tempted to ask questions. Find out what was going on. Were they looking for a child? Had someone been kidnapped? Was there a criminal on the loose? But I kept my mouth shut and drove on, wondering all the way home.
And perhaps it was because they had made me jumpy, that the car pulled over in front of a wooded area on my road made me regard it with a suspicious eye. That and the fact that the back passenger door was open and there seemed to be two older men sitting inside, one in the front seat and one in the back with only the overhead light illuminating them. It made me uneasy. And I slowed down as we passed them, trying to see what they were doing in their old light green jalopy. But I really couldn't see much of anything. Didn't note anything overly odd save for the fact that they were sitting there by the side of the road with the back door of the car open.
I called Brenda from my cell phone as we continued down the road and proceeded to tell her everything, including my odd thoughts about the car. "Should I call the police?" I asked. "I didn't really see anything, but it's certainly not normal."
I spent the next few minutes hemming and hawing and asking Bren to turn on the news to see if she could find out anything. Meanwhile, we pulled into our driveway, hopped out of the car, and quickly made our way inside. "I'll call you back in a moment." I said to Brenda, clicking off my phone.
Inside I grabbed the broom that I keep by the front door and made my way, room by room, checking all the corners and the dark spaces. My sister Jo asked me later on in the night as I told her about everything, what exactly had I planned to do with the broom in the case that something was amiss? ... I told her I was really hoping not to find out.
The car on the side of the road however was still nagging me. And when something nags me, it's a given that I will not be able to put it out of my mind until I've laid it to rest. And so I told KC to put on her shoes and come with me out to the car.
"You're going to go check to see if that cars still there aren't you Mom?"
Since I didn't think she'd fall for the excuse of taking a quick ride for no reason in the middle of the night, I shook my head yes.
Needless to say, my five minute run down the road didn't prove anything at all other than the car that had previously been there was gone. Not that I had some sort of big plan of what to do had it still been hovering on the side of the road. (Though I was on the phone with Bren the entire time I was driving to check things out. I guess my plan was to tell Brenda the license plate number if it was still there and call the troopers with my possibly overblown suspicions.)
Returning home, I sent KC off to bed, took up shop on the living room couch and promptly fell asleep there for the remainder of the night unable to catch anything on the late night news about what could be going on. Presently there has been nothing on the morning news either ... But it was all too weird to have just been my fertile imagination at work.
Odd.
Oh well, I suppose there is naught else to do now except return to my cleaning ... Unless I can convince KC to try baking cookies with me instead. (Don't think of this is an easy thing to do. My daughter is more than aware of my less than Betty Crocker like baking skills.)
My Bad
I think I may have been a bad role model earlier and yet I feel very much like I used to feel in my high school days ... A sure sign that I was most definitely a bad role model. Brenda says she would have done the same thing and yet considering Brenda spent far more time in the ISS Room (In School Suspension) room than I did, maybe that's not exactly a thumbs up ...
Anyhoo more about my topic of intrigue later. KC and I have places to go, things to do and people to see.
Anyhoo more about my topic of intrigue later. KC and I have places to go, things to do and people to see.
Disappointment
We told him last week. Reminded him on Sunday. Called him on Tuesday. Phoned him this morning. He knew the place. The time. The importance ...
And she sang her little heart out, scanning the crowd for familiar faces, skipping over ours, already knowing where we sat. I watched her looking to find the one face that was missing. The most important face of all.
Disappointed doesn't cover how she felt when she realized he hadn't come. Her chin started to tremble and she averted her eyes as if there were something incredibly interesting on the floor. And when it was over, she marched like a little soldier out to the car, one foot in front of the other in a forward motion and dissolved into tears the moment she was inside.
"He didn't even come," she cried. And I reached out my hand to hold onto hers and tried to comfort her with reasonable excuses. "He didn't even come ..."
We cried together. Her for her need to be validated by his presence and me for the tears he made her cry.
Why is it so hard for him to understand?
The most important face to see, is the one that isn't there ...
And she sang her little heart out, scanning the crowd for familiar faces, skipping over ours, already knowing where we sat. I watched her looking to find the one face that was missing. The most important face of all.
Disappointed doesn't cover how she felt when she realized he hadn't come. Her chin started to tremble and she averted her eyes as if there were something incredibly interesting on the floor. And when it was over, she marched like a little soldier out to the car, one foot in front of the other in a forward motion and dissolved into tears the moment she was inside.
"He didn't even come," she cried. And I reached out my hand to hold onto hers and tried to comfort her with reasonable excuses. "He didn't even come ..."
We cried together. Her for her need to be validated by his presence and me for the tears he made her cry.
Why is it so hard for him to understand?
The most important face to see, is the one that isn't there ...
Let the Healing Begin
It's hard to think of anything else when your teeth hurt and for the past few days, though the pain has been gnawing away at me for weeks, I have been suffering - because no other word aptly explains how horrid this has been - the most agonizing tooth pain ever.
Last night I couldn't fall asleep. I tried everything I could think of. Every position I could possible fall asleep in. Cold compresses. Hot compresses. Brushing my teeth. Holding my hand against my cheek. Watching QVC. (Hey. Never rule out boredom.) Until finally, a little after four this morning, my body finally shut itself down and allowed me two hours of sleep before my dratted alarm went off.
My appointment at 12:30, I spent most of the morning in my office in a most unnaturally quiet state. A sure sign I'm not feeling well at all when my mouth isn't moving a mile a minute. Pretty much ignoring the general chatter, I focused on taking the morning second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, phone call by phone call. Not an easy task when you're tooth is throbbing to the point that your ear feels like it's going to start gushing blood at any moment. Talk about good times ...
Anyhoo I didn't expect much of anything today other than a preliminary appointment. You know, the appointment before the actual appointment sort of thing. However Dr. K. - who I will now say is my absolute hero - took one look at my mouth, one look at my x-ray and said in no uncertain terms that he was going to take care of me today. Swear to God, if there hadn't been a ring on his finger, I would have gotten down on one knee and sworn eternal love to him.
That was until I saw the tool cart. Then my nerves returned and I was a quivering mess of fear.
"How bad is this going to hurt?" I asked while trying to appear calm and collected.
"No worse than getting a cavity taken care of." I pretended to be reassured. She saw right through me. "Don't worry. You're going to feel so much better by the time this is over." I held onto my doubts.
Clutching the hand rest as Dr. K. inserted the needle to numb my mouth, I was hard pressed to keep from smiling as my eyes peered into his, optical enhancements and all.
And then it began ... And just to quote Dr. K. "How on earth did you manage to handle the pain for so long? Your tooth is completely inflamed." See, I told you all it hurt!
Rather than go through the entire process of the much aligned ROOT CANAL I will end by saying that is was far less painful than having a tooth extracted. Way less. And on the bright side, tonight is the very first night where I actually feel like me again! The excitement!
Last night I couldn't fall asleep. I tried everything I could think of. Every position I could possible fall asleep in. Cold compresses. Hot compresses. Brushing my teeth. Holding my hand against my cheek. Watching QVC. (Hey. Never rule out boredom.) Until finally, a little after four this morning, my body finally shut itself down and allowed me two hours of sleep before my dratted alarm went off.
My appointment at 12:30, I spent most of the morning in my office in a most unnaturally quiet state. A sure sign I'm not feeling well at all when my mouth isn't moving a mile a minute. Pretty much ignoring the general chatter, I focused on taking the morning second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, phone call by phone call. Not an easy task when you're tooth is throbbing to the point that your ear feels like it's going to start gushing blood at any moment. Talk about good times ...
Anyhoo I didn't expect much of anything today other than a preliminary appointment. You know, the appointment before the actual appointment sort of thing. However Dr. K. - who I will now say is my absolute hero - took one look at my mouth, one look at my x-ray and said in no uncertain terms that he was going to take care of me today. Swear to God, if there hadn't been a ring on his finger, I would have gotten down on one knee and sworn eternal love to him.
That was until I saw the tool cart. Then my nerves returned and I was a quivering mess of fear.
"How bad is this going to hurt?" I asked while trying to appear calm and collected.
"No worse than getting a cavity taken care of." I pretended to be reassured. She saw right through me. "Don't worry. You're going to feel so much better by the time this is over." I held onto my doubts.
Clutching the hand rest as Dr. K. inserted the needle to numb my mouth, I was hard pressed to keep from smiling as my eyes peered into his, optical enhancements and all.
And then it began ... And just to quote Dr. K. "How on earth did you manage to handle the pain for so long? Your tooth is completely inflamed." See, I told you all it hurt!
Rather than go through the entire process of the much aligned ROOT CANAL I will end by saying that is was far less painful than having a tooth extracted. Way less. And on the bright side, tonight is the very first night where I actually feel like me again! The excitement!
Inside the Storm
My house smells like a pumpkin pie pulled out fresh from the oven. It warms the room in a way that the heat cannot. Outside a cold rain falls, thick and wet, folding the flowers over upon themselves. Inside the house is filled with music. The sound of bows on strings as the piano pounds away on deep dark notes; perfect accompaniment to the weather outside. And I am in the mood for Dvorak.
Dvorak who could write me the sounds of an orchestra bubbling up from the very fires of hell ... Dvorak who could tell the story of a simple girl and all the worlds pleasures and the very pain that centers itself inside a toothache.
And I'm beginning to believe that dentist is an evil word. Though to be fair, Dr. Doug honestly felt bad enough to see me back so soon and even worse when I couldn't contain my tears. Perhaps it was the whole let's try to drill a bit without bothering with the Novocain that did it. And yet the Novocain didn't make too much of a difference. The tears still came and I still cried, though I attempted a weak smile to make him feel a bit better for being the cause of my torture.
Still all this talk about teeth grows weary. I cannot tell you how relieved I am to be home. To sit here on this couch listening only to music as I type away the troubles of this day. And yet now there's nothing much more to type about, too much of the day has passed to be remembered in this brief little moment now. Perhaps tomorrow when I am feeling better, like someone more myself ...
Dvorak who could write me the sounds of an orchestra bubbling up from the very fires of hell ... Dvorak who could tell the story of a simple girl and all the worlds pleasures and the very pain that centers itself inside a toothache.
And I'm beginning to believe that dentist is an evil word. Though to be fair, Dr. Doug honestly felt bad enough to see me back so soon and even worse when I couldn't contain my tears. Perhaps it was the whole let's try to drill a bit without bothering with the Novocain that did it. And yet the Novocain didn't make too much of a difference. The tears still came and I still cried, though I attempted a weak smile to make him feel a bit better for being the cause of my torture.
Still all this talk about teeth grows weary. I cannot tell you how relieved I am to be home. To sit here on this couch listening only to music as I type away the troubles of this day. And yet now there's nothing much more to type about, too much of the day has passed to be remembered in this brief little moment now. Perhaps tomorrow when I am feeling better, like someone more myself ...
Slumber Party?
You'd think I'd be too old for sleepovers but I'm not ... In fact, I am currently writing from Brenda's living room where I have taken up residence for the night on the couch. Everyone else however is fast asleep, while I sit in the near darkness to type this. I guess I'm just not that tired yet though I really should be,
It was a rather uneventful night. We sort of just talked a bit about this and that and were entertained by the mighty tikes and Liv's amazing achievement of riding her tricycle around the living room, albeit all in a strait line as she has yet to master the whole premise of turning.
Tomorrow we're taking a very mini road trip to meet up with Ty's grandparents from his "other" side so that they can take him for the remainder of the weekend to celebrate his birthday, though a bit belated. (Which reminds me that I should have said Happy 9th!) After that I'm not sure what we have planned for tomorrow, although I can quite guarantee there in shopping in our future.
Mom ... If you try calling me, I'll be available via cell ... As long as I remember to finish charging it. I always forget to do that as I really don't use it all that much. I'm not one of those girlies who requires a phone constantly pressed against her ear. Good thing I can't afford a blackberry I suppose. That I'd be dangerous with.
More tomorrow. I think I'll do a bit of reading before turning in.
It was a rather uneventful night. We sort of just talked a bit about this and that and were entertained by the mighty tikes and Liv's amazing achievement of riding her tricycle around the living room, albeit all in a strait line as she has yet to master the whole premise of turning.
Tomorrow we're taking a very mini road trip to meet up with Ty's grandparents from his "other" side so that they can take him for the remainder of the weekend to celebrate his birthday, though a bit belated. (Which reminds me that I should have said Happy 9th!) After that I'm not sure what we have planned for tomorrow, although I can quite guarantee there in shopping in our future.
Mom ... If you try calling me, I'll be available via cell ... As long as I remember to finish charging it. I always forget to do that as I really don't use it all that much. I'm not one of those girlies who requires a phone constantly pressed against her ear. Good thing I can't afford a blackberry I suppose. That I'd be dangerous with.
More tomorrow. I think I'll do a bit of reading before turning in.
Bitching is Free
I have no idea what is going on with blogger THIS time ... But I can't even access my own damn page, instead I'm redirected to the blogger start page. WTF!!!
I'm tired. I'm cranky. And I want to rip my tooth out of my head.
Someone better fix this soon!
I'm tired. I'm cranky. And I want to rip my tooth out of my head.
Someone better fix this soon!
A Long Story Short ... Very Short
While I wish there was something earth shattering to report, the truth is I've been too busy at work for the past 2 days to have any time at all for thinking ... This does of course have its good points, like looking at the clock and expecting it to be nine and finding out it's quarter after eleven. Any day that flies by at work is a good day in my book ... Unless it results in working overtime. Something I can more than do without.
On an exciting note, I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. Normally this wouldn't excite me, but tonight I'm doing the dance of joy. My tooth is doing the dance of joy. Though that may change when and if I get a bill ...
On an exciting note, I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. Normally this wouldn't excite me, but tonight I'm doing the dance of joy. My tooth is doing the dance of joy. Though that may change when and if I get a bill ...
Over the next few weeks, you will be reminded again and again about the difference between your need for complexity and other people's desires for simplicity. This is the Scorpio-Taurus axis being activated by the yearly cycle of the Sun, and it probably will play out in your life through relationships. As the Sun transits your 7th House of Partnerships, don't set yourself up for frustration. Even if you can't bring these opposite needs together, your awareness of both can make life easier.
Neighborhood Watch
Interesting little tidbit of information ... I forgot to mention that the house next door near caught fire Friday night. My powers of observation being as strong as they are, it wasn't until Saturday morning that I took any notice of the pile of charred debris and the melted siding barely clinging to the house as I walked out to my car.
Reliable sources - aka my neighbor Bob - filled me in later on in the day when he got home. Evidently someone's car decided to spontaneously combust in the middle of the night and was completely engulfed in flames by the time the fire trucks arrived. Three of them to be exact. And where was I? I slept through the whole thing ... Nice. I am so handy to have around in the case of an emergency.
The good news is that the whole place didn't blow. The fire happened right in front of the gas lines to the house and in reality, things could have gotten really ugly. Someone's car however was toast. Burnt, smelly and charred toast.
Bob - being the nice guy that he is - spent two hours chatting amiably outside with us and playing cat's cradle with KC. Though he informed me that the only reason he knew how to do it was because he had three sisters. A fact I can well relate to though my skill with yarn and string is something that should not even be attempted to be described. I on the other hand had a rather difficult time attempting to make conversation. For once my glib tongue could think of nothing interesting to say as I tripped over myself for topics of discussion. A sure sign I need to get out more I am sure.
Anyhoo, I'm off to enjoy what is left of the light. Maybe another trip down to the lake, maybe a drive to the middle of nowhere, maybe another good book to occupy my mind. Or maybe just a quiet end to a quiet day.
Reliable sources - aka my neighbor Bob - filled me in later on in the day when he got home. Evidently someone's car decided to spontaneously combust in the middle of the night and was completely engulfed in flames by the time the fire trucks arrived. Three of them to be exact. And where was I? I slept through the whole thing ... Nice. I am so handy to have around in the case of an emergency.
The good news is that the whole place didn't blow. The fire happened right in front of the gas lines to the house and in reality, things could have gotten really ugly. Someone's car however was toast. Burnt, smelly and charred toast.
Bob - being the nice guy that he is - spent two hours chatting amiably outside with us and playing cat's cradle with KC. Though he informed me that the only reason he knew how to do it was because he had three sisters. A fact I can well relate to though my skill with yarn and string is something that should not even be attempted to be described. I on the other hand had a rather difficult time attempting to make conversation. For once my glib tongue could think of nothing interesting to say as I tripped over myself for topics of discussion. A sure sign I need to get out more I am sure.
Anyhoo, I'm off to enjoy what is left of the light. Maybe another trip down to the lake, maybe a drive to the middle of nowhere, maybe another good book to occupy my mind. Or maybe just a quiet end to a quiet day.
Going Home
Liquid fire melting on blue water, I watch the sun give way to the stillness that is twilight. My daughter rubs her hands over her arms, warming the goosebumps that prickle her skin and asks impatiently if we can leave yet. She is oblivious to the moment. The moment when sky and water merge and the horizon seems to span forever as if there were no end.
And we are not alone. Along the path where the lamp lights have suddenly warmed into glowing embers of amber, families walk with the slow gait of a Saturday evening. Another couple enjoys a quiet dinner for two at a picnic table just down the way, while my best friend and her daughter stand to our side and take in the sunset in their own way.
It is a miracle I tell her. The way the sun rises every morning and sets in the evening. Or as her daughter says, goes home. And for a moment I remember the word home, the very weight of the word and the image it invokes, of much younger times and the way I would peddle my bike down to the lake just before sunset and ride to the abandoned edge of the park where the benches were always empty and awaiting my arrival. I used to lean my bike against the rail and sit there watching the water lap against the shore, listening to the seagulls overhead while the moon waited in her corner and the sun sank down in his; a gentle peace between heavenly bodies forever entwined in the essence of give and take.
Just like before, those many moons ago, I felt the calm take hold my heart, stilling the worries from my mind, nourishing my spirit, restoring my strength. It's very easy to laugh and cry at the same time. This is what I told Brenda as we watched our daughters gingerly explore a cold white mound of ice and snow left over from winter like a melting glacier. How something so simple as a sunset can move you in ways you do not understand but set to rights the things you thought were going wrong. It can be that simple.
A part of me didn't want to leave. I could have stood there forever with the cold breeze against my face, watching the wings of darkness spread their arms over the land like a slow moving bird, wanting to root myself in that moment. Instead I looked to my daughter, took her small hand in mine and smiled, "Let's go home."
* Thank you to Karl who seems to know when to send me the exact song I need to hear.
And we are not alone. Along the path where the lamp lights have suddenly warmed into glowing embers of amber, families walk with the slow gait of a Saturday evening. Another couple enjoys a quiet dinner for two at a picnic table just down the way, while my best friend and her daughter stand to our side and take in the sunset in their own way.
It is a miracle I tell her. The way the sun rises every morning and sets in the evening. Or as her daughter says, goes home. And for a moment I remember the word home, the very weight of the word and the image it invokes, of much younger times and the way I would peddle my bike down to the lake just before sunset and ride to the abandoned edge of the park where the benches were always empty and awaiting my arrival. I used to lean my bike against the rail and sit there watching the water lap against the shore, listening to the seagulls overhead while the moon waited in her corner and the sun sank down in his; a gentle peace between heavenly bodies forever entwined in the essence of give and take.
Just like before, those many moons ago, I felt the calm take hold my heart, stilling the worries from my mind, nourishing my spirit, restoring my strength. It's very easy to laugh and cry at the same time. This is what I told Brenda as we watched our daughters gingerly explore a cold white mound of ice and snow left over from winter like a melting glacier. How something so simple as a sunset can move you in ways you do not understand but set to rights the things you thought were going wrong. It can be that simple.
A part of me didn't want to leave. I could have stood there forever with the cold breeze against my face, watching the wings of darkness spread their arms over the land like a slow moving bird, wanting to root myself in that moment. Instead I looked to my daughter, took her small hand in mine and smiled, "Let's go home."
sleep my friend now
I'll watch o'er you
the moon is here and the stars adore you
close your eyes and
you'll sleep just fine
said my guardian angel once upon a time ...
* Thank you to Karl who seems to know when to send me the exact song I need to hear.
Life's Little Moments ...
I ran away from home tonight. Ran fast, ran far and considered - even if it was only for the briefest of moments - jumping into the car with our bags packed to head South down 81 to North Carolina ... Because Mom's always make things better. And had common sense not prevailed (it is a rather lengthy drive) I might be somewhere in the bottom half of Pennsylvania right now wondering just how long those endless mountains could go on for. But it wasn't to be, though KC was more than willing to make the drive and was more than a bit disappointed when she asked where then were we going ...
I don't know I told her. Wherever the road takes us is where we'll be. Make a note that this is not a popular answer among nine year olds. And yet she seemed to understand that her Mom needed a moment, and decided to put pencil to paper and sketch the scenery that was flying by. Though this didn't mean that she still wasn't talking non-stop.
Yes. I ran away from home tonight. Straight into the arms of Barnes and Noble Booksellers. Into those sacred stacks of neatly arranged texts, those welcoming words that have the power to transform the hours into a world where fiction is fact. And it was a sigh of relief even though I called Brenda from the parking lot with my phone pressed against my ear as I implored her to talk me down.
"You're at Barnes and Noble's aren't you?" she asked, before giving a resolute sigh and a warning. "Don't do it. Come on over here."
The store front beckoned me. KC waited. The world stood still.
"We'll be over." I said, clicking off. Right after we go in ...
Ten minutes later we were back outside, bag in hand with exactly 4 books, 3 of them mine, 1 for KC and an impulse (okay everything really was impulse) buy of Alison Kraus's new CD. And I felt better ... I know, I know ... Retail shopping as therapy is nothing new to be writing home about and yet ...
I did feel better. Because I certainly felt better than I had earlier today at work when the slightest little comment sent me sailing over the edge of God knows what and into the tumultuous sea of nervous breakdown.
Perhaps it was the stress of the afternoon meeting I wasn't looking forward to. Or perhaps it's been my lack of a good nights sleep combined with being ill. And maybe it's an assortment of everything above and more than I'm even mentioning. I wasn't sure. All I knew is that one moment I was perfectly fine and the next I was begging someone to find me some prozac as the tears streamed down my face with no thought of stopping.
Terri - who was in my office at the time - looked at me with stark confusion.
"What is wrong with you?"
I found it hard to talk with the lump in my throat and said inbetween great big breaths, "I have no idea!" Because I had absolutely no idea. "And it's not PMS ..."
"I think you need a vacation girl."
And so I decided that this weekend is going to be about fun, getting out of the house, saying to hell with the housework and the attempt to organize everything from A to Z and just having a weekend filled with laughter and random silliness.
A little sunshine can do wonders ...
I don't know I told her. Wherever the road takes us is where we'll be. Make a note that this is not a popular answer among nine year olds. And yet she seemed to understand that her Mom needed a moment, and decided to put pencil to paper and sketch the scenery that was flying by. Though this didn't mean that she still wasn't talking non-stop.
Yes. I ran away from home tonight. Straight into the arms of Barnes and Noble Booksellers. Into those sacred stacks of neatly arranged texts, those welcoming words that have the power to transform the hours into a world where fiction is fact. And it was a sigh of relief even though I called Brenda from the parking lot with my phone pressed against my ear as I implored her to talk me down.
"You're at Barnes and Noble's aren't you?" she asked, before giving a resolute sigh and a warning. "Don't do it. Come on over here."
The store front beckoned me. KC waited. The world stood still.
"We'll be over." I said, clicking off. Right after we go in ...
Ten minutes later we were back outside, bag in hand with exactly 4 books, 3 of them mine, 1 for KC and an impulse (okay everything really was impulse) buy of Alison Kraus's new CD. And I felt better ... I know, I know ... Retail shopping as therapy is nothing new to be writing home about and yet ...
I did feel better. Because I certainly felt better than I had earlier today at work when the slightest little comment sent me sailing over the edge of God knows what and into the tumultuous sea of nervous breakdown.
Perhaps it was the stress of the afternoon meeting I wasn't looking forward to. Or perhaps it's been my lack of a good nights sleep combined with being ill. And maybe it's an assortment of everything above and more than I'm even mentioning. I wasn't sure. All I knew is that one moment I was perfectly fine and the next I was begging someone to find me some prozac as the tears streamed down my face with no thought of stopping.
Terri - who was in my office at the time - looked at me with stark confusion.
"What is wrong with you?"
I found it hard to talk with the lump in my throat and said inbetween great big breaths, "I have no idea!" Because I had absolutely no idea. "And it's not PMS ..."
"I think you need a vacation girl."
And so I decided that this weekend is going to be about fun, getting out of the house, saying to hell with the housework and the attempt to organize everything from A to Z and just having a weekend filled with laughter and random silliness.
A little sunshine can do wonders ...
Rated "R" For Content
Cover your ears. Close your eyes. And for God's sake, put the children to bed before reading any further.
It should come as no surprise to know that after a very short evening spent with friends from work, that I've come home with one of those I can't believe I'm going to put this down in writing stories to tell.
It all began with a trip to the Vets to pick Emma up this afternoon from her overnight stay. For some odd and unknown reason, the ladies who run the front desk of the animal hospital are severely lacking in speed and efficiency although lucky for them they do make up for it with kindness ... I had planned to pick Emma up and get her home within the time frame of my hour lunch, but as we all know even the best laid plans often go amuck. With the sands of the hourglass near empty, I had little choice but to return to work with Emma in tow for the remainder of the afternoon.
Not a big deal, especially considering that Emma is famous for her afternoon naps. But then again knowing the people I work with, and what happened the last time my cat got called up in conversation a few Christmas dinner/meetings ago, I might have thought better ... I work with morons. Give or take a few.
Jake however is by far the worst culprit. And I'm quite sure that when he finds himself mentioned in this blog, he will be more than pleased about being the cause of an entire post. In a world where a sense of humor is a must, Jake has been over blessed. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times something has come out of his mouth just to provoke controversy or stretch the limit on what can be and should be said. He's all about the shock value.
With Emma safely nestled in her state of the art carrier close to my desk, I watched as Jake got down on his hands and knees to peer inside. And of course, it was at this very moment when Mr. K (who had just arrived for the afternoon meeting) walked by the door to my office. He came to a dead stop. And in his slightly odd pitched voice asked Jake, "Should I ask what you're doing?"
Why I didn't duck and run for cover right then and there I will never know. And trust me when I tell you, I should have known from the mischievous smile on Jake's face that things were about to take a tumble right down into the gutter.
"I'm looking at Stacey's pussy." he said while I turned beat red and Mr. K's eyebrows came close to shooting straight off of his head. I stood up out of my chair, stumbling over my own words as I quickly interjected, "He means me cat! She's in the carrier. I just picked her up from the vet!"
Mr. K - albeit amused - chose to walk away without saying another word.
I took the opportunity to glare at Jake before yelling, "You're such an asshole! I can't believe you just said that!" Jake however was too busy laughing to pay me much heed.
Now one would think that this is where the story would end. And in a normal world filled with normal people this is exactly where the story would end. But as I said earlier, I don't exactly work with normal people ...
On the early shift today, I left at 4:30, giving myself plenty of time to run Emma home, change my clothes, attempt to fix my seriously wind blown hair (I had the windows down enjoying the weather) and meet back up with the gang at the bar by five. Now normally I would mind the fact that I was a few minutes late to a gathering, but when it comes to walking into a bar alone, I like to know my party is already inside and waiting. There's nothing worse than going in alone and having everyone and I do mean everyone stop what they're doing to see who is coming in only to find out that once you're in, your friends aren't there yet ... You feel like a total loser. Well, at least I do in that sort of situation.
Anyhoo everyone was already there (save for Terri who was running a few minutes behind) and already enjoying their beverages. And didn't I just feel like the shiznet to be the only girl in a group of guys ... Mind you, I can keep up with the trash talk when necessary. But when the cat story made its way back into conversation, I was more than ready to become a shrinking violet. Loud enough to draw everyone's attention the story was told, told once more and then told again for the third time with each telling getting louder and louder as the story progressed. When the punchline came and the entire bar was looking in our direction, I could only lean back against the wall and slide down in the direction of the floor as my face went crimson with embarrassment ... It wasn't as if I was going to climb on a bar stool and annouce to the entire happy hour crowd that the pussy in question was a cat and not what everyone else was surely thinking. I could have died ...
It should come as no surprise to know that after a very short evening spent with friends from work, that I've come home with one of those I can't believe I'm going to put this down in writing stories to tell.
It all began with a trip to the Vets to pick Emma up this afternoon from her overnight stay. For some odd and unknown reason, the ladies who run the front desk of the animal hospital are severely lacking in speed and efficiency although lucky for them they do make up for it with kindness ... I had planned to pick Emma up and get her home within the time frame of my hour lunch, but as we all know even the best laid plans often go amuck. With the sands of the hourglass near empty, I had little choice but to return to work with Emma in tow for the remainder of the afternoon.
Not a big deal, especially considering that Emma is famous for her afternoon naps. But then again knowing the people I work with, and what happened the last time my cat got called up in conversation a few Christmas dinner/meetings ago, I might have thought better ... I work with morons. Give or take a few.
Jake however is by far the worst culprit. And I'm quite sure that when he finds himself mentioned in this blog, he will be more than pleased about being the cause of an entire post. In a world where a sense of humor is a must, Jake has been over blessed. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times something has come out of his mouth just to provoke controversy or stretch the limit on what can be and should be said. He's all about the shock value.
With Emma safely nestled in her state of the art carrier close to my desk, I watched as Jake got down on his hands and knees to peer inside. And of course, it was at this very moment when Mr. K (who had just arrived for the afternoon meeting) walked by the door to my office. He came to a dead stop. And in his slightly odd pitched voice asked Jake, "Should I ask what you're doing?"
Why I didn't duck and run for cover right then and there I will never know. And trust me when I tell you, I should have known from the mischievous smile on Jake's face that things were about to take a tumble right down into the gutter.
"I'm looking at Stacey's pussy." he said while I turned beat red and Mr. K's eyebrows came close to shooting straight off of his head. I stood up out of my chair, stumbling over my own words as I quickly interjected, "He means me cat! She's in the carrier. I just picked her up from the vet!"
Mr. K - albeit amused - chose to walk away without saying another word.
I took the opportunity to glare at Jake before yelling, "You're such an asshole! I can't believe you just said that!" Jake however was too busy laughing to pay me much heed.
Now one would think that this is where the story would end. And in a normal world filled with normal people this is exactly where the story would end. But as I said earlier, I don't exactly work with normal people ...
On the early shift today, I left at 4:30, giving myself plenty of time to run Emma home, change my clothes, attempt to fix my seriously wind blown hair (I had the windows down enjoying the weather) and meet back up with the gang at the bar by five. Now normally I would mind the fact that I was a few minutes late to a gathering, but when it comes to walking into a bar alone, I like to know my party is already inside and waiting. There's nothing worse than going in alone and having everyone and I do mean everyone stop what they're doing to see who is coming in only to find out that once you're in, your friends aren't there yet ... You feel like a total loser. Well, at least I do in that sort of situation.
Anyhoo everyone was already there (save for Terri who was running a few minutes behind) and already enjoying their beverages. And didn't I just feel like the shiznet to be the only girl in a group of guys ... Mind you, I can keep up with the trash talk when necessary. But when the cat story made its way back into conversation, I was more than ready to become a shrinking violet. Loud enough to draw everyone's attention the story was told, told once more and then told again for the third time with each telling getting louder and louder as the story progressed. When the punchline came and the entire bar was looking in our direction, I could only lean back against the wall and slide down in the direction of the floor as my face went crimson with embarrassment ... It wasn't as if I was going to climb on a bar stool and annouce to the entire happy hour crowd that the pussy in question was a cat and not what everyone else was surely thinking. I could have died ...
The Hamster That Could Have Got Away
Bit of a near disaster this morning as I went into KC's room to pick out her clothes for the day. It took me less than a second to register an open hamster cage door to something akin to a natural disaster. In mere seconds my mind had exhausted a realm of possibilities ... Had she become a late night snack for the cats? Would I ever be able to find her in the black hole that is KC's room? And just how was I going to cope with a Mia being MIA? Hah ... I just realized a play on words ... Who'd a thunk it?
Anyhoo ... It turns out that the hamster, despite the cage being open to freedom, didn't try to hop the fence and make off on her merry way. Big sigh of relief on that one since I didn't have time to mount a search party.
You'd think that after having been out sick for the past two days, I would have returned to earth shattering applause - or something akin to it - instead Terri informed me that I'd conveniently been thrown under the bus by a third party whose fictional name I won't mention. I was none to happy to hear about it, but then again forewarned is forearmed and I pulled together some in my favor evidence to prove the contrary of what was said. Not that it was anything over the top horrible mind you, but something more along the lines of someone trying to blame someone else for coloring outside the lines that they don't bother to color in themselves. If one must point a finger, it would do well to remember that the same finger may be turned back on you. In this case I believe it's the middle finger in the upright position.
But not to dwell on irritating work stuff as I have a strict rule about hashing out work issues when I'm off the clock ... As in not going to do it. Well, not unless they pay me overtime. Except I don't get overtime. And yet I work overtime. I wonder what exactly is the sense of that?
I suppose I have oodles more to mention about a host of other things tonight, but they'll have to keep. I've a couple of emails to attend to, yet more laundry to throw in the dryer, and goodness only knows what else.
Anyhoo ... It turns out that the hamster, despite the cage being open to freedom, didn't try to hop the fence and make off on her merry way. Big sigh of relief on that one since I didn't have time to mount a search party.
You'd think that after having been out sick for the past two days, I would have returned to earth shattering applause - or something akin to it - instead Terri informed me that I'd conveniently been thrown under the bus by a third party whose fictional name I won't mention. I was none to happy to hear about it, but then again forewarned is forearmed and I pulled together some in my favor evidence to prove the contrary of what was said. Not that it was anything over the top horrible mind you, but something more along the lines of someone trying to blame someone else for coloring outside the lines that they don't bother to color in themselves. If one must point a finger, it would do well to remember that the same finger may be turned back on you. In this case I believe it's the middle finger in the upright position.
But not to dwell on irritating work stuff as I have a strict rule about hashing out work issues when I'm off the clock ... As in not going to do it. Well, not unless they pay me overtime. Except I don't get overtime. And yet I work overtime. I wonder what exactly is the sense of that?
I suppose I have oodles more to mention about a host of other things tonight, but they'll have to keep. I've a couple of emails to attend to, yet more laundry to throw in the dryer, and goodness only knows what else.
Early Bedtime
Just thinking about tomorrow is starting to give me (yet another) headache. I can only imagine that after missing the past two days at work that my voice mail light is blinking with the fury of 10,000 messages, all expecting immediate call backs.
And to make matters worse, I have to get up extra early tomorrow morning, drop KC off at the sitters at the crack of dawn, run into town to drop the kitty cats off at the vet and get to work by 7:30 sharp for a meeting with the time clock.
Have I mentioned that I am so NOT a morning person?
So short post ... I've got some papers I need to look at, forms to fill out, laundry to be washed, dried and folded, dance bags to pack, cat collars to find, and goodness already knows what I've forgotten ... I wonder if I should pack my tooth brush?
Oh and if anyone can think up a handy excuse to get me out of having to go to the going away party for Slug on Thursday night, it would be much appreciated. I can't go out on a work night!!!
And to make matters worse, I have to get up extra early tomorrow morning, drop KC off at the sitters at the crack of dawn, run into town to drop the kitty cats off at the vet and get to work by 7:30 sharp for a meeting with the time clock.
Have I mentioned that I am so NOT a morning person?
So short post ... I've got some papers I need to look at, forms to fill out, laundry to be washed, dried and folded, dance bags to pack, cat collars to find, and goodness already knows what I've forgotten ... I wonder if I should pack my tooth brush?
Oh and if anyone can think up a handy excuse to get me out of having to go to the going away party for Slug on Thursday night, it would be much appreciated. I can't go out on a work night!!!
The Downfall of a Three Day Weekend
Unlike a cleverly disquised three day weekend, I am actually home on this beautiful Monday with a raging headache and a major case of the sniffles that has yet to let go its tenacious hold. But unlike the past two days, I've finally given into the temptation to sleep the day away and rest like I should have done from the very beginning.
I meant to make soup for dinner, and had in fact taken the chicken out of the freezer to defrost earlier this morning, but waking up just some short time ago, soup seemed to be a pretty big project to start at such an hour. And since nothing else really sounded good, I went for quick, easy and painless, or in other words, a breakfast dinner. So scrambled eggs, rye toast and microwavable bacon it was, topped off with a side of orange juice - no pulp. Quick on time, low on complication ... Maybe I'll make the soup tomorrow.
I meant to make soup for dinner, and had in fact taken the chicken out of the freezer to defrost earlier this morning, but waking up just some short time ago, soup seemed to be a pretty big project to start at such an hour. And since nothing else really sounded good, I went for quick, easy and painless, or in other words, a breakfast dinner. So scrambled eggs, rye toast and microwavable bacon it was, topped off with a side of orange juice - no pulp. Quick on time, low on complication ... Maybe I'll make the soup tomorrow.
It's Getting Hot in Here
With the weather being as nice as it was all day, I just couldn't say yes to keeping myself inside and quiet. Instead I went over to Bren's and after a bit of chatting went on a shopping expedition to check out a couple of new stores that have recently opened.
Needless to say I'm paying the price now. My skin feels like a five alarm fire and I'm quite sure that had I a thermometer about, it would tell me to slap a cold compress on my head and lay down immediately. Perhaps that's why I'm seeing two of everything ... Kidding, kind of, sort of, although an ice bath sounds like a marvelous proposal.
Needless to say I'm paying the price now. My skin feels like a five alarm fire and I'm quite sure that had I a thermometer about, it would tell me to slap a cold compress on my head and lay down immediately. Perhaps that's why I'm seeing two of everything ... Kidding, kind of, sort of, although an ice bath sounds like a marvelous proposal.
