Brilliance For Breakfast

I am a bad little blogger. And this week alone should be proving that without a shadow of a doubt.

All I can say for myself is that every once in a lunar eclipse while, I come down with the plenty to write about but the nothing much to say syndrome known as writer's block. Or to put it in a much broader sense, the inability to focus while sitting in front of a computer. Though truly, one doesn't actually sit so much in front of a computer as much as it is the computer itself that sits in front of them...

I am absolutely profound! So profound in fact, I'm going to put it right out there and say I practically border on brilliance... (Regardless of odd comma placements, that is. But hey, we can't all be gifted with the ability to punctuate correctly all the time.)

Despite my self-imposed exile, I have had a busload of thoughts this week. Thoughts like...

"What the hell am I doing on this treadmill?" (While trying to breathe normally.)

"How long do I have to go on pretending that I can actually keep up at this speed and it doesn't hurt?" (While trying not to go sailing off the end a la Okay Go style.)

"Is that guy with the kid sitting in the same row as us for this movie wearing a wedding band?" (While trying not to appear as if I am totally scoping him out, while totally scoping him out.)

"How many people open their snacks as soon as the lights dim and finish them prior to the previews being over?" (While contemplating the noise of plastic being opened, crunched and crinkled.)

"Does anyone else hate the smell of popcorn as much as I do?" (While wishing all the people with popcorn would see another movie.)

"What is that stain on my daughter's new jeans? It looks like paint! Is that paint?" (While raising my eyebrows and wondering who the hell let her near paint in her new clothes.)

"But why is it there?" (While still wondering who the hell let her near paint in her new clothes.)

"If someone asks me if I'm feeling better today, especially if that someone is my boss, should I take my bottle of MIDOL with me to work and blame it on female problems?" (While thinking to myself that I'm not going to fake being ill today just to make yesterday look good.)