Can one have a midlife crisis if one is not in midlife? Or am I just trying to get a head start on being completely irrational and foolish while I'm still young enough to use age as my excuse?
I'm convinced this is a valid question.
Mostly because I'd like to keep my options open for a magical out just in case I decide to do anything very un-Stacey like in the immediate, in which I mean the next few weeks, future. Because Stacey - that would be me speaking of myself in third person like I'm not the one typing this, gets more than just a little bit frustrated when it comes to doing the right thing not just most of the time, but mostly all of the time.
I mean seriously, just between you, me and whatever fencepost happens to be listening at the moment, I think I've crossed over from the realm of boring right into the realm of one more Friday night at home spent on the couch reading a book and I think I'm going to lose my mind...
It's a travesty!
And yet, I've got to be honest. I've been on those sites. I've seen what the dating world has to offer and I'm quite convinced that my couch is a far safer place to be than with a man whose face reads more like a mug shot depicting his long list of crimes rather than a glowing endorsement for his date-ability... Of course, when you put a mug shot photo guy next to the I don't have my shirt on, stare at my manly chest, you know you want me man, I've got to say I'll take my chances with the convict and let I just like to be naked man well enough alone...
Still this means posting your own little resume online and finding just the right thing to say. But the more I try to be serious and write something that says a little bit about who I am, the more I sound like someone I wouldn't want to know, when I'm much happier posting something a little bit more like this...
I'm looking for...
Normal... And when I find it, I swear to the heavens above I will hold on
tight and to borrow a line from Titanic, "Never let go..."Normal however should
be accompanied by a tolerable sense of humor, a hopefully higher than almost
average IQ, the ability to be on time most of the time, parents you love but do
not live with, and that three-letter word we all know and love, a job...
One cannot live without sarcasm and I'll admit, I employ it probably more often than I should. Then again, sarcasm could just be a wall between the rest of the world and me. An I dare you to come in, but I don't really want you to want to try, let me save myself from being disappointed with you later on, kind of in my own best interest self defense.
Just call me Freud and give me a minute to figure out I've got penis envy as well and I'm sure this blog will get more interesting to read as the minutes roll by...
I say this, quite remarkably so, at the very same time my mind chooses to remember that I've got fudge pops in my freezer. And all I can think is, "Damn! I really do have penis envy."
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