How people ever managed before electricity was invented, I'll never know. After little more than 6 hours I was ready to start crying for my Momma and request the National Guard to come rescue me from my frigid apartment. In my imaginatioin, I could picture the scene ... I would be whisked off by a caring military man with broad shoulders, who would tenderly wrap a warm, fuzzy green blanket around my near frozen body. Huddling me closer in a protective manner to share his body heat, he would yell to his compatriots to bring me a hot bowl of soup pronto. All the while stroking my hair back from my face, repeating over and over again in his Sean Connery voice that "everything would be ok, I was safe now." However, considering the fact that fantasy rarely leads to reality, I pulled my comforter off the bed upstairs and played my own Prince Charming.

The absence of electricity was like a message heralded from angels above, the sort of divine intervention that you heed rather than question. The message was clear. Thou shall not vacuum or run a load of wash today, thou shall only concern thyself with keeping warm and reading romantic novels by candlelight. I figured a bowl of chocolate ice cream wouldn't hurt either. One would think that one who was already half frozen from lack of heat would not opt for ice cream, but I live to do the unexpected.

As the sky began to darken, I decided that it may be time to seek other shelter and the comfort of family. But I was loathe to leave Emma the cat alone, not knowing just how long the power outage would last. In the end, I couldn't abandon her to fate and spent the next 10 minutes rounding up every candle in the house as well as unearthing the only non cordless phone. There was no way I was going to be scared of the dark, I thought to myself as candles were placed strategically in every room. But just as I was about to light the very last candle in my armada of waxy things, there came an old familiar sound, as the house began to hum once again with electrity. "We're saved!", I yelled out loud, wishing there was someone there I could have high fived. Instead I got a very annoyed look from a small black cat, whose nap had just been disturbed.

Skipping to sometime after midnight, I awoke to the sound of my phone ringing. The first thing that popped into my head, was someone in my family must be hurt. Anyone who claims to know anything about me can tell you this, if you're calling me anytime after 11:00 p.m., it had damn well better be an emergency. To say that I am an absolute bear when waking up would be an understatement. Although something told me that I could ignore this phone call and be safe, the inquiring side of me wanted to know what idiot had dialed my number.

What I should have wondered was ... what 2 idiots dialed my number. Not making it down the stairs to answer the phone in time, my answering machine clicked on, echoing the prerecorded sound of my voice into the darkness. I waited patiently for the beep and then there they were. Moron number one and moron number two ... Otherwise known as Mike and Sean ... Alone they are warped enough, together they are a bad sitcom in need of cancelling.

The two were evidently feeling no pain and since I wasn't in the mood to decipher their drunk chatter, I opted to head back up to bed rather than pick up the phone. Imagine my surprise however, when the phone rang just a short time later, only for the caller to hang up upon getting my machine once again. Caller ID confirmed my fears that the 2 morons were still wide awake and in enough control of their faculties to dial a phone. There was nothing left to do but shut the ringer off and hope that the two would suffer a pounding headache in the morning to come. I just hope it lasts until Monday when I can call the twerps on their behavior at work.

Games on.