The Christmas Crawl

God save me from the Christmas season.

If there's one thing that I loathe more than anything else, it has to be shopping in November or December. Today, it took me all of ten minutes to fight my way to the back of WalMart to pick up a gallon of skim milk. But grabbing a gallon of milk just isn't that easy anymore.

Not when you've got a mob of ignorant shoppers before you in a line trying to figure out what it's going to be this week. 1% or 2 ... As for me, it's an easy decision. Skim milk yesterday, skim milk today, and skim milk tomorrow. No thought required. Just check the date and go. If only it were that easy for other people ...

On a Sunday afternoon, buying anything other than a gallon of milk is just asking for trouble. As anyone can tell you, it's a short trip down irritation road trying to manage a cart down as aisle that's too small and too filled with people who don't know how to pick one side from the other.

Middle shoppers are extremely annoying, standing there like stone statues waiting for a sign from God to prod them into action. Completely clueless. Trying to get them to move out of the way is like trying to be anyone other than Moses parting the red sea. It's just not going to happen. I usually offer up a polite excuse me, and when that doesn't work, I act the bitch and move their cart out of my way myself.