Choose Your Own Ending

Conundrums!

Yet another thing to think about in my sometimes overly complicated life, of who to let in and who to keep out ...

Back in the day Gina and I were really good friends. Giggling like lunatics over things most people wouldn't find funny, taking momentary respites to the local dive, when liquid lunches were quite the thing to do, and speaking the language of "op" just to annoy the hell out of anyone around us.

And there were times when I thought I couldn't possibly laugh more than I already did. And there were times when I did things I never thought I would do, things Gina always made me do, always trying to breach one of my many comfort zones. I both loved her and hated her for that ...

But when the bad times came, they came in full force. Between the two of us, our friendship came crashing down over some very stupid choices, and some very dumb decisions.

And so I did what I do best. Walked away, without once turning back to look behind. And at the time, it was the right thing to do. Because along with being a good influence to me, she had a way about her, that made me think that doing the wrong thing just might be okay.

Gina was used to taking, even if it wasn't hers to take. Maybe it was her background that made her think that the things that belonged to somebody else, were really the things that were much better to have. Either way, when it came down to taking husbands, well it was the beginning of the end.

But now almost two years have passed. And like life, much water has passed under the bridge. It was hard not picking up the phone, when a mutual friend told me just the other day that she had seen Gina. To which her first question was, "How's Stacey?" with reported tears in her eyes, as she went on to say how much she missed me and the good times we shared.

And now, it's funny to find myself eager to pick up the phone and fill her in on all the details of everything that's gone on this year, from new relationships to bitter breakups, and my constant quest to find the ultimate theme song.

But would I be crazy to open that door again? Would I be allowing the past a chance to repeat? Or have we both changed enough to make this friendship work.

I wonder if there is enough honesty in the world ...