Excuse me. Have you seen my slipper?

And so it begins again. Another cautious toe dip into the dating pool, with the hopes of finding my swim fins, rather than the opposite, floating at the surface gasping at the gills.

And despite my lack of optimism -my track record having proven disappointing thus far and therefore I'm only being honest with myself - there's no time like the present to climb back on the horse, and attempt to meander off into the sunset, and into the arms of Prince Charming.

Except Prince Charming and I have never met.

In fact, I seem to have a strange gift for attracting the wrong sort of men. Whether it's your average commitment-phobe, no good two timing cheater, or the I just want to be friends guy, you can bet I've dated them all. One heartbreaking breakup at a time.

And yet, like a vicious circle of doom, I'm signing myself up for a spin on the wheel of torture. My battle cry strong in the face of adversity and an upcoming 30th birthday.

"I will not go gently into the night ... I will not grow old and bitter alone ... I will not become known as the crazy cat lady who lives next door. I will be Stacey, of the can you believe how well they compliment each other, theirs is a dream come true relationship, happily ever after and always, half of something more wonderful than I have ever known." Because, and I'm not afraid to admit this, anything other than that is depressing as all hell and I'm completely out of Ben and Jerry's to commiserate with.

And so with the hook sufficiently bated, I'm dropping in, squirming worm and all.

Tune in tomorrow for exciting updates ... Until then, this is Stacey - over and out.