Making Over Me

I haven't cared for the past few months. Haven't cared about taking care of me, or keeping up on all the little things that need keeping up on. Instead I went back into hibernation mode, to the one place where no one from the outside world could come in and rip the carpet out from under me. And I went on dates, well three dates with one person to be exact and decided after adding yet another fiasco to my long line of disasters with the opposite sex that I was done. Had to be done. Couldn't risk putting myself out there even one more time to meet yet another self-centered, glib talking, not ready for anything more than a booty call kind of guy.

But it turns out that I'm not quite willing to give up the ghost just yet or the dream of happily ever after. Climbing back into the driver's seat and getting myself back in gear is the hardest part. Half of the battle is just pulling myself back together, and after a few good doses of reality television, What Not To Wear to be exact last weekend while I was recuperating from some unknown illness on my couch, I realized that I wasn't doing myself any favors.

And so I went shopping, two nights in a row with only one thought in my mind. If it looks good on the hanger but not on me I wasn't going to buy it, and if it looked good on me and wouldn't totally blow my budget, it was going to be mine. Along with that I set my alarm clock to go off a little bit earlier, and though I'm far from being any sort of morning person when the option to sleep is on the table, I got myself out of bed, and put myself together with the sort of care I haven't bothered with for a while. (Shame on me...)

And people noticed. Which isn't really all that surprising when you go from not giving a fig to caring quite a bit because it does make a difference about how you feel about yourself and the world around you. Heck I even went out and bought my own ironing board to make sure my new tops (curve friendly without letting the girls completely on the loose) look just as good the second time around as the first despite my I hate to iron phobia.

When things need to change, it's always best to start with yourself...