When has nothing nice to say, one should say nothing at all

Have you ever noticed that with the holidays, comes unexpected problems?

Every year it's always something. Some Jeckyl and Hyde routine to cast a damper on the season. Something small, like a molehill quickly making itself into a mountain, and you can only watch it as it balloons far out of proportion.

And then you say something.

Adding your voice to the other braying jackasses, making the situation worse, because upon occasion, when you can no longer control your temper, you go for the jugular. You say things you know are going to hurt somebody else. Because for that one moment after it is said, you feel better. And then the very next you feel awful, knowing you should have just kept your mouth shut and said goodbye.

But apologizing has never been your thing. You're not good at it. You'll wait someone out forever for them to be the one to say that they're sorry first. But even when their sorry and you're sorry, you can never take the words back. You remember, and maybe because of this you've spent much of your adult life living in the past, still hurting over all the things that have already been said.

So I'll give it a day. Cool my head. Clear my mind. And by tonight be able to see that stupidity in human relationships, especially those within your own family, is just as natural as rain falling from the sky.

Until then, I'm just a little black rain cloud.