I shouldn't be on here blogging tonight, when I know my Mom may be trying to call.

Actually, she called me earlier today on my cell phone, about 5 minutes into my trip home from work, to inquire if everything was ok, since my last few entries on NWTLO have been, for lack of a better word, depressing.

Had I not been driving, and needing to focus all my attention on the road, I might have broken down into tears, just by the sound of my mother's voice. Though I love my sisters dearly, there is no replacement for the comfort only a mother can give.

So I gave her the facts and spared no details, letting my anger and my hurt simmer along the airwaves to North Carolina, until I began to feel better. That was, until the connection snapped and I found myself talking to dead air, holding the phone out in front of me to try to figure what went wrong.

Figuring she'd call back, I threw my phone to the side, opting to re-adjust the volume level of the CD I had been listening to right before she called, Coldplay's Scientist.

My friend Mike, says that listening to that CD for an extended amount of time, is enough to make you want to throw yourself into a blender. But I disagree ... I don't think a blender would be able to do the job. (Oh bad joke, I know.)

But, thanks to my mother, and thanks to Coldplay, I gave my situation some thought, all the way home ... Deciding to write to Josh, one last time.

That email will not find its way here on NWTLO. Some things just aren't meant to be shared.

I will say that I am glad I wrote it, despite the fact that I wish it wouldn't have been necessary. I guess, it's always a little depressing whenever you have to shut a door and say goodbye, when you'd rather much say hello and ask them how they are.