Stupid Human Tricks

I've come to the conclusion that I really need to take my alarm clock off the radio wake up mode, being that the radio wake up mode NEVER wakes me up. Take this morning for instance, alarm set for six a.m. and only by the grace of God did I awake on my own at seven. A mere 15 minutes to get in the shower, dress, apply the war paint, feed the cats, wake the minor child, get said child dressed, do her hair, do my own hair, and get the both of us out the door, stopping first at the babysitters to drop mini-me off, before gunning the engine in the direction of work.

And it was no wonder I was a complete wacko this morning considering I was still half asleep. Trudging to the kitchen, the first thing I noticed was that neither one of my mugs seemed to be in residence, forcing me to choose a generic mug from the cupboard rather than my usual Disney or Hard Rock Cafe - Atlanta. A major pisser to start off my day, but I dealt, filling the generic mug with hot steamy water and plopping in the tea bag just long enough for the water to turn a satisfactory brown, before dousing it with French vanilla creamer and three packets of sugar.

Satisfied that at least one thing seemed to be working out, I made my way back to the office, plugged myself back into my headphone, and set myself up for taking calls, all the while stealing small sips of tea whenever a spare moment presented itself. And the tea was delicious, especially when considering the fact that it pretty much was my breakfast. But then stupidity came to call. Having taken an order, and done my subsequent highlighting, I went to return the marker back to its cuppy. And as I plonked the marker back in, it never occurred to me, not even once, that the cuppy I hit was the one filled with the tea. Realizing my error with a general announcement to the office that I was indeed a freaking idiot, I quickly retrieved the highlighter from my drink, and dried it off with a paper towel pulled from my secret stash.

Utilizing the five second rule, I figured my tea would still be safe to drink, especially since the marker had been covered. But one sip later, I discovered that the five second rule in this case didn't really apply. Spatting the foul brew back into the cup, I couldn't quite lose the taste of yellow highlighter in my mouth, despite taking a giant swig of water from the bottle I always have going in my room. And it was disgusting, like I had taken a giant shot of ink. Going over to Bridget's room, I stuck out my tongue and asked, "Dus ma tung luk yelo?" Thankfully, it wasn't.

Unfortunately my stupidity wasn't quite spent, and I spent the rest of my morning trying not to hurt myself. Hard to do when you're blessed with the special knack of turning a handle but not always opening the door as you attempt to walk through it. Or when you manage to trip over something you know is right in front of you. Or when you go to send an email, and then wonder why it is it came back to you so quick, because you fail to notice for a good five minutes that you sent it to yourself. Oh yeah, it was one of THOSE mornings ...

I suppose a smart girl like me would think that a little more sleep might help the matter. And in that case, consider me snoozing.