Crash & Burn

5 paragrapsh in on a new blog entry and what do you think happened?

Oh yeah ... I'm irritated.

Eeeeew

Feeling extremely icky tonight. Am considering grabbing a blanky and sleeping by the porcelain god, just to play it safe.

More tomorrow.

I Want My Cable TV

Crazy people do crazy things. Some people dance around with turtles, some people blow their right testicles off, some swallow hangers while getting hit on the head with a toaster and others simply cannonball themselves into a half gallon of milk. And some people like me, spend their Sunday nights watching them making asses of themselves on national television thanks to Steve Harvey.

Unfortunately, and in the midst of the toaster replay, the television snarled, blipped and then blacked out, with only the sound of crackling static left behind. Now most people automatically assume that the cable popping off is either one of two things, (1) an act of God or (2) a freak accident involving cable lines, cars and slippery roads. But not me. The first thought that came to my mind was, "Hmmm ... I wonder if I paid the cable bill this month?"

So I called down the road to Dad and got my stepmother on the phone.

"Stupid question," I said. "Is your cable working?"

Without even hesitating she answered no, explaining quite a similar experience to mine, though she was watching a different program.

"Now don't take this the wrong way ... But tell me, did you guys pay your cable bill this month?"

"Yes, Stacey." She said in a tired voice, "You can stop worrying now. The entire road is out. It's not just you."

Email Friendly

Subject: (no subject)
Date: 11/28/2004 9:11:24 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: brendac312
To: stacee557

Hey, Video Nows are on sale at Aldi's for 69.97 and it includes 3 video's. You better get on it quick!!!
_______________________________________

Subject: (no subject)
Date: 11/28/2004 9:13:20 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: brendac312
To: stacee557

Actually, Aldi's is not open on Sunday's ... You better get your Dad on this one tomorrow morning!!!
_______________________________________

Subject: (no subject)
Date: 11/28/2004 9:14:06 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: Stacee557
To: Brendac312

Stop emailing me ... I'm not awake yet!
_______________________________________

Subject: Re: (no subject)
Date: 11/28/2004 9:45:48 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: brendac312
To: Stacee557

I'm not stupid - I know that your pc is not typing by itself jackass!
_______________________________________

Subject: Jackass
Date: 11/28/2004 3:14:46 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: Stacee557
To: brendac312

I'm telling Nancy you called her daughter a jackass ... And then I'm telling the other Nancy that she should wash her daughter's mouth out with soap. So there!

Like you really missed me too, I might add. You weren't even home last night when I called to check in and Martin told me you'd gone shopping WITHOUT ME! Of all the nerve! Of course, I am completely broke and couldn't afford to go anyway, but still ... Don't think you're off the hook.

Oh and I've posted your emails on the blog ... Let this be a lesson on the use of foul language. I've been brainwashed by bible country!

And then again, maybe the fuck not ...

Regards,
Stacey

Vindicated!

A ha fucking ha!

I did not hear voices in my sleep! It turns our my stupid and most heinous neighbor Kathy is having something of a little get together just two doors down. And as usual, people leaving her apartment cannot keep their mouth shut long enough to just get to their cars and drive away ... No, they've got to wake everyone up in the process of their leaving. (Must write a note to the landlord about that ...)

And it also turns the fuck out that the voice was calling Kathy - okay so it doesn't even sound close to Stacey, but hey I will remind you I was in full REM sleep when I heard this, so take it with a grain of salt and all that. Anyhoo, at least I feel better about not hearing phantom voices. I'd really hate to think I was the new John Edwards in town ... Not when I can guarantee that my personal constitution just couldn't take that. You are after all listening to the ramblings of a girl who was scared of ET, checked underneath her bed for monsters every night, slept with (and sometimes still sleeps) with a light on, has a no limbs outside the confines of the comforter while slumbering rule and has on more than one occasion yelled Mommy when waking from a bad dream.

Of course, none of this sounds too bad until I mention that fact that I'm 30 and still practicing these same routines ... OY.

Angry Wind Paranoia

I thought I heard somebody calling my name. It's why I'm up. I can't explain any other reason to pull myself from my bed at this hour other than I thought for sure someone - a man's voice -had called my name up the stairs. And it freaked me out.

Motionless in my bed, I ran through the list. Screen door locked, checked ... Front door locked, checked ... Back door locked, checked ... Windows, blinds all checked. Impossible and yet, what if someone were down there in my living room? What if there was a family emergency? What if I was only imagining it all and just wanted to go back to sleep?

And that's why I'm down here, tele presently on watching a Bridget Jone's trailer (I'm so seeing that this week) having checked every room, points of entry, and nabbing a cup of water in one fell swoop. Water because it's the only damn thing left in my empty fridge. Guess I can add grocery shopping to my list of things to do today, granted I wake up at a reasonable hour after all this.

The wind is blowing something fierce outside, angrily banging the wind chimes together in an eerie tune and I'm quite sure it was my outside broom that took a tumble just a moment ago with a big old smack against cement. Perhaps the wind was actually the voice I heard? Hmmm ...

Home Again, Home Again

Too tired to blog other than to say that we've safely made it home, my ass is number than it has ever been before, and all our animals have been accounted for - thankfully alive and well, though it seems the cats managed to cause some serious havoc. (That or I'm imagining the shredded paper trail of evidence.)

Tomorrow is however another day, and after I sleep in until noon, I might think about tidying the house up some ... If not, there's always the day after tomorrow. Now is not the time for action nor thinking.

I'm to bed.

Sad Goodbyes

A bit melancholy tonight with tomorrow's impending departure despite the fact that it seems far too soon to be leaving. And though it seems like I just pulled into the driveway, I've spent the last hour packing bags and loading up the car in readiness to be on the road long before the sun comes up in this Southern sky.

I've also decided to drive straight through. No motel stops, no overnights, just second star to the right and staight on to home. But funny in a sad hollow sort of way, that even as I plan on going home, I feel as if I'm leaving it just the same.

And so now I've brought myself to tears, with a stinging ache stuck at the back of my throat, as I try to stay quiet so that no one else will hear. And I think so myself, it always hurts like hell to leave.

Happy Turkey Day

There are so many things to be thankful for, that one day out of the year doesn't seem near sufficient enough to recognize all of them.

That being said, a heartfelt thanks to my family, my closest and oldest friends, and an ever increasing number of new friends, who have made this year even better than the one before.

Happy Holidays to you all. May your lives be filled with peace, love, and laughter.

Doesn't It Just Figure

With a day of cooking looming large in my future tomorrow, I have no other choice but to turn in for the night and get some sleep ... That being said, I expect a full report in my email from Ms. Brenda Gail on the latest news from the wire while I attempt to manage the final dashing of all my teenage hopes and dreams on the sharp rocks of love and reality ... In other words, so much for the farm boy fantasy. (As if I wasn't over it years ago ...)

Still since he did manage to have his daughter born on my birthday, I wonder if there's any chance they'll name her Stacey? It's a lovely name, really it is. Perhaps I should email the suggestion ...

On a weird note that may finally prove I'm psychic, Mom and I were watching Footloose tonight and I was saying how farm boy somewhat resembled the young Kevin Bacon back in the day. And all this before I read Bren's comment! Amazing!

A Message To & From Home

Subject:Cats
Date:11/23/2004 9:39:36 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: Stacey
To: Dad
CC: Jodi

Ooops ... Almost forgot to remind you to take care of my babies while I'm gone ...

Dad, I know you won't pet them as you don't like cats, but Jodi, if you could give them a bit of attention while I'm gone, I'd appreciate it. They're not used to being alone for so long and may get a bit lonely and nervous that I'm not there.

Thanks and Love,
Stacey
______________________________________

Subject: Re: Cats
Date: 11/23/2004 4:56:10 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: Dad
To: Stacey

You owe me big bucks ... Had to take the cats to the shrink's .... They were going through depression and felt that nobody loved them ... Course they've had food on a daily basis so they were confused ... lol Dad.
______________________________________

Why oh why is everyone in my family a comedian?

Rainy Tuesday

Outside a cold, wet blanket of fog stretches lazily across the lake and though I hoped to spend a quiet morning alone with my observations and a gentle rain falling, the early hour of the day was not enough to inspire others to linger in their beds, and out of my seriously bedridden hair.

Crinkling a plastic bag, KC stands in the kitchen on step stool, pouring not one, but two different kinds of cereals into the same bowl. A practice not normally performed at home, but seemingly a good idea while at Grandma's.

Mother meanwhile is cleaning up the kitchen once again, like a rare addiction to Windex and the Queen of Clean. It should be noted however that her house is far more organized then mine could ever dream of being, leaving me not much room to talk as procrastination is usually the name of my game.

Proclaiming today a day of rest, and quite rightly so since my legs are still on fire from yesterday's outing, I'm all for having a lazy, do nothing day today. My Mother however thinks it's a good time to do the laundry, proving once again how different we sometimes think.

Despite my lameness, I wouldn't have missed our trip to North Carolina's Zoological Park. An impressive place to be sure and one filled with gloriously wild animals in habitats crafted to closely resemble their native homes. Between the four of us who went, it was quickly decided that among our favorites, the following animals had stolen our hearts: a playful polar bear eating apples, sea lions gracefully performing an underwater ballet, long legged giraffes nimbly nibbling at the trees, and two small and very playful lion cubs tumbling over each other in their quest to rob a fallen tree branch from the other. In a word, it was all just positively wonderful.

More from me later ... Breakfast calls.

A Morning On Appaloosa Lake

Cold autumn breeze against my face
I listen to the wind rustle through the trees,
watching as the leaves fall, sometimes one by one,
but more often like a dry rain of faded color.

Three birds sit perched on one side of the feeder,
yellow breasted, small and delicate.
Almost close enough to touch,
they pick hungrily at the seed.

My daughter stands at the edge of the lake,
fishing pole in hand, chattering her own sing song tune.
Perhaps -I think to tell her - if she is quiet enough,
she may catch a fish. But she is happy in her noise
and in her efforts.
And who am I to tell her why the fish won’t bite?
My way is not the only way.

She calls for me to join her
and with camera in hand in case she manages a catch, I go.
My job to snap the pictures,
save the memories
and transcribe the events.

So Sleepy

And so we made it, none the worse for wear though a bit tired after a long trek and one wrong turn at the very end, thanks to Mom's mistake in specifying a left when it should have been a right.

Amazingly enough, I remained calm and confident in crisis, pulling the vehicle back around (after recognizing downtown Robbins) and made my way back to where I should have gone right in the first place. All in all, it was a 10 minute error quickly fixed and I was quite impressed to have come through it so well without any melodrama or a sudden burst of panic induced tears.

Hmmm ... Perhaps I've gained some wisdom now that I am the venerable age of thirty ... And then again, maybe not.

Thanks to all of you out there who sent your well wishes for both my trip and my own personal holiday. I appreciate every one of them, and every one of you for taking the time to write it down and send out your support. Now if only you'd all send money ... Gas is expensive!

With my eyes burning a hole in my head, I'm about to douse the lights and call it a night. I'm beat, both physically and emotionally. And it's funny, I never seem to realize just how much I miss having my Mom around on a daily basis, until we're back together.

On the Road Again

So I'm feeling a little like Willie Nelson at the moment. And having just taken a shower, I have realized a few of the things I've forgotten, that unfortunately were essentials. Without conditioner, as the lovely place I'm staying at was only kind enough to provide the shampoo, I've spent the last ten minutes trying to brush the rat nest from my hair. Not an easy thing to do, when every stroke brings you pain. Oy.

Anyhoo, it's back on the road again here in a few minutes. A fact KC is surely not going to like as I rouse her from her slumber. Oh well, at least the kids get to sleep in the car ... Which means, I'm singing all the way to NC.

Oh and yeah ... Happy Birthday to me!

Blogging On the Road

Greetings and Salutations from Chambersburg, Pennsylvania, my halfway mark to destination North Carolina.

And having gotten this far, I have come to the conclusion that (a) traveling with children is not for the weak of heart, (b) there are only so many times you can say, "No, we're not there yet." without getting highly agitated, (c) making your daughter's pajamas talk in a high pitched squeaky voice to enduce her to quit the whining and put them on while maintaining said sanity which is precariously hanging in the balance as it is, is the only way you can make yourself laugh and not run screaming for the hills, and (d) on the eve of your 30th birthday, there are surely better things you could be doing with your time than spending it with two minor children intent on annoying each other in any manner possible.

On that note, I'm exhausted, I lost feeling in my ass four hours ago, my mental condition is deteriorating, and someone - and I don't know who, other than the fact that I am 100% sure it's not me - smells like onions.

More tomorrow if I survive the night ...


In Queue at the DMV

Went to the DMV to renew my license and have decided after being blinded by the intense white light they call a flash, that there is absolutely no way anyone's picture can come out well. Not only am I sure I blinked, but I'll bet the bank that I'm going to appear completely washed out, like a long lost relative of Casper the Friendly Ghost.

Luckily for me, I don't get proofed all that often so this is something I really shouldn't have to worry about.

Not much else going on ... Work is having a corporate sponsored luncheon tomorrow to reward us all for our stellar October performance in both production and sales. Perhaps however it's all just a clever cover for an "Oh my goodness, you did this all for me?" birthday surprise.

And then again, maybe not.

As I told Linda today, I have a right to be a spoiled brat on my birthday. It's the only holiday I know that's all about me!

Linda is now convinced I'm turning five rather than thirty. She may be right.

Self Setting Alarm Clocks

Broke my own personal record of stupid moves this morning, after realizing I'd manage to sleep in as if it were Saturday. Evidently my cleaning binge and secret love affair with Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser last night, left me so exhausted that I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Waking up with way too much sunlight streaming in my bedroom window, it was fairly obvious that I was already late for work. Turning my head slowly and with just one eye open to gauge the time, I couldn't help but emit an evil laugh, as I realized just how late it was.

Grabbing the phone, I quickly dialed the job and was further confused when Joe answered the line rather than one of the receptionists. Tired, confused and dealing with a major rush of holy shit I'm late, I proceeded to tell Joe what was going on, to which he responded, "Who's this?"

"It's either your worst nightmare or Stacey," I said, "Take your pick, but remember I have a long memory."

Explaining once again, and this time slower as to be understood, I told him I would get there as soon as possible. And I did, 45 minutes later.

Lucky for me, I have a very understanding boss who understands my special needs. Or at least likes me well enough to overlook my early morning issues, or issues in general - of which I have many. Email me, I'll tell you them all.

Despite all this, and the constant ribbing I got all day long whenever someone had the opportunity to find a way to mock my lateness, the day went extremely well. So well in fact, that I think I'll go back tomorrow, this time on time.

That being said, I better get my ass to bed before I make a liar out of myself. Until we meet again, this is Stacey over and out.

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm

I just cleaned the bathroom floor with a scrub brush. Someone call the doctor, I think I must be ill.

Counting Down the Days

Starting to feel a bit panicked with the upcoming road trip looming just a few days away. I wish there was a way I could shut these feelings down, the ones that cripple me with fear and will surely cause my hands to grip the steering wheel far too tight for ten hours.

Despite the fact that I have made this drive just once before, and should be confident knowing it's already on my list of things I've done, I'm still scared to death that somehow I'm going to make the wrong turn, get horribly lost and never be seen from again.

Meanwhile, Mother continues to council me that most of the journey is a straight line south, and one that shouldn't worry me over much. Perhaps if there were no other cars on the road, and my car was equipped with a GPS tracking system, along with one of those talking map things, I might feel a little more secure about the whole idea in general.

I have however decided that trying to drive the entire distance in one day is for the birds and far too tiring for one person unused to such a journey to attempt alone. Or in my case, as the only person in the car with a license to drive and two kids I hope will pass on the opportunity to be back seat drivers. That however remains to be seen.

So I'm all about deep breaths in, and deep breaths out at the moment. Reminding myself, very much like the little engine that could, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can ...

A Slow Mend

Just finished the book I bought from B&N last night, and admit to having cried a few tears at its completion. But then again, a few tears shed over a good book are certainly worth every turn of the page its words are written on.

And though it seemed like luck, stopping right when I did, the cover a robin's egg blue calling me from it's perch on the shelf, it felt more like fate was guiding my hands to something I was meant to see.

Immediately drawn to the title, my eyes focused on the purple lines that dissected the cover into fragments, including a solitary woman, face down, eyes closed. And I recognized the feeling. The feeling of being shattered pieces of yourself, even if no one but yourself could see.

I hadn't meant to buy the book, but I was lost within moments of reading the first paragraph, and knew I wouldn't walk away without it. I hope the author won't mind me posting a bit of what caught my eye.

While the woman sleeps and dreams of all that breaks, come into this house of many rooms. Once your eyes adjust to the darkness, beginning to take in what is visible, you may notice a silence that is not quite silent. There is another language being spoken here, a tongue that emanates from white clay, fire, the oils of many skins, the fusion of rent spirits and matter. The woman hears this language always, even in her sleep, because she is guilty, and because those who speak to her are never silent. But for you, the innocent, there may only be a humming, a distant drone.
-an excerpt from the Prologue of Broken For You, a novel by Stephanie Kallos.

Old Antics

Fun night tonight going out with Brenda.

Went to dinner and flirted shamelessly with the puppy faced waiter, though it was more for fun than any actual interest. And had to make a quick run for it at the door, as Bren decided to leave a love note on the table along with the check, which read something along the lines of calling us any time at the following number, 867-5309. Though I'm quite sure he was far younger than either of us, and wouldn't get the joke.

From there it was shopping and a stop at Barnes and Noble where I submitted to my weakness and bought two books, of which I will talk more about tomorrow when my head isn't so fuzzy from being so tired.

Meanwhile Martin was kind enough to take a look at my laptop and do some much needed tweaking, while we were out about town acting like idiots and scoring free popcorn. Although now that I think of it, I didn't get any of that free popcorn, though you won't hear me complain. I'm not a big fan of the nasty stuff.

I'd write more but doubting it would make any more sense that what I've already written, I might as well take myself upstairs, slide beneath the fuzzy blankets and call it a night.

Not Another Bright Idea!

I'm thinking about audio blogging my trip to North Carolina next week. That way when I get lost - as I'm prone to do - I can send out an SOS to the world, rather than relying on my Mother alone to find me in that great big somewhere out there.

Of course, I haven't taken into consideration that I can't even manage to change out a CD without almost going off the road, let alone talking into a phone while worrying how dumb my voice might sound recorded.

The ultimate horror however, would be if I were to forget to shut the phone down, and you all caught me singing along with my favorite tunes. Not that I can't sing, cause I've heard myself in the shower and I'm damn good, but I'd still be embarrassed just the same.

Or maybe I could just get my own CB radio and talk trucker for ten straight hours. Hmmm ... Something to think about.

Proof Positive

Found a little good news in my snail mailbox last night, a reply from the rental management company to inform me that my request for a modified rent raise had been granted. A major sigh of relief for me, as a $25.00 hike is far more affordable than a $50.00 hike. Especially when considering this time of year, with Christmas gifts looming large on the horizon, and my paycheck dwindling with each passing day.

So it's proof positive people. A little elbow grease, a few polite words on paper, and a genuine plea for help, will often garner the results you'd hope for.

Parent/Teacher

Managed to fall asleep last night, with the TV on, with the lights on, and didn't even bother to wake up when the alarm went off at 5:30 this morning for what was supposed to be an early start.

An early start to the day so I can leave work early this afternoon to attend KC's parent/teacher conference. And despite my fears that this was going to be another year of fighting some old battle-axe in a desperate attempt to remind her that kids have just got to be kids and not little grown-ups all the time, my fears have gone unfounded.

In fact, this teacher has really impressed me with the creativity she allows in the classroom, and the positive manner in which she presents new ideas to the students. And KC's report card has given proof that the happier she is with a teacher, the better her grades, and the better her behavior.

Alone In a Crowd

When it comes to whispering around the water cooler, my office certainly has no problem telling a tale ten times over. On a normal day, you can always count on at least three people to tell everything and anything they happen to know.

Last week was no different. Except this time, rumor was confirmed by fact. Someone we all work with had been arrested and hauled off to jail for something he had on his hard drive. Now I'm not one to throw stones without just cause, but it seems to me, that if they had enough reason to confiscate his computer and take his ass off to jail, then being innocent until proven guilty seems somewhat null and void.

Of course, that doesn't mean I believe everything I read. I'm quite positive that I'm not still that naive. I do however know just enough about this person to come to my own conclusions. And if you asked me my honest opinion, I'd tell you in plain English, that I think he's guilty as hell.

And as far as I'm concerned, there is a line that should never, ever be crossed. And it makes me sick, quite literally, that at a meeting held at the end of last week, we were all told that we have to respect his "rights" and keep our mouths shut, so as not to get ourselves into trouble.

So when the big boss asked if there was anyone who had a problem working with this individual, you can bet your Thanksgiving turkey, that I opened my mouth and said YES! I on the other hand was surprised to realize that I was the only one raising an objection, even though 3/4 of the office had been of the same opinion five minutes prior to the meeting.

Looking around at all the faces, all suddenly quite enthralled with the tiled floors, they sat mute listening to me, not bothering to offer up any of their own objections. And to tell you the truth, I was pretty pissed. Pissed because they know me so well, they knew they could count on me to speak my mind, while keeping silent on the sidelines.

But what burns me even more, is that after this meeting was done, two people yanked me into the women's bathroom for an Ally McBeal moment and said, "Well, we wanted to say something, but we didn't want to make waves."

Complete and utter bullshit if you ask me. Cause like it or not, when someone asks me my opinion, I'm not the kind of girl to hold back and play nice. I live more by the theory, don't ask unless you really want to know. And I'm certainly going to speak my mind if something makes me uncomfortable.

Unfortunately it doesn't change the fact that at the moment this guy is back in the company fold, whether any of us want him to be or not. And right now, all there is to do is wait, and hope justice is swift and served up on a platter.

Monday Blues

I slept like a rock and feel like I'm going to puke. Not exactly the way I wanted to start out my work week, but there it is.

According to the local weather reports, we're about to get nailed with some serious lake effect snow, and rather than complain about it, I'm going to appreciate the fact that it's the second week of November, and thus far we've gotten off easily. Still it would be nice if it could hold off another 2 weeks or so, just long enough for me to make my trip to Mom's and back.

Sounds like KC just literally fell out of bed. That or Octavia has finally managed to bring down the bird cage. I got a little concerned last night after a loud crash was followed by the sound of silence. The silence unusual since prior to the big bang, Lizzie and Fitzwilliam were chirping up a storm. Giving it a minute, even though I was picturing the worst possibility - Octavia with a mouth full of blue and yellow bird feathers and an innocent look that said, "Hey, it wasn't me," I waited it out until the chatter started up again.

Not really prepared to face a day at the office with the infinite amount of gloating Republicans in house. I am hoping at some point they all get down from their moral high horses and continue on with life as normal. Not that it was ever normal, but even I have to admit, I'm a bit sick and tired of the political divide atmosphere we've undecidely thrived in these past few months. As for me, it gets lonely being one of the few liberals in house. Especially when people keep trying to brain wash you into thinking you're not as liberal as you think. Hmmmm ... Last time I checked, I supported most - if not all - of the issues that GWB is against. Blimey!

Ach well, time to don the war paint, find today's choice B shirt, and gain about 2 inches of assisted height.

The Trouble With Being Female

Pretty much stayed on the couch all day, watching bad movies, sneaking in a cat nap, and trying to ingore the horrible cramping pains that had me twisting about like a rung towel. And it would be just my luck that I was completely out of advil and in no mood to brave the roads and a half hour round trip to the store to purchase something that would have given me some relief.

Worse yet, the pains have yet to ease and it's all I can do to focus on a single thought when it feels as if I'm in the throes of labor once again. Except of course without the mind numbing demetrol, or whatever it was they fed me through the pipeline.

Consider me posted. I'm crawling upstairs to bed.

Cat Times Two

Hair held back with one of KC's plastic headbands and a face painted white with Noxema, I am the ultimate girl about home tonight. And at the moment, I've also got a small black kitten attached to the bottom of my foot, where she has happily taken to biting my toes every few seconds, enjoying my frantic knee jerk response as I try to pry her off.

For a moment, I almost feel bad for Emma, realizing what life must be like for her everyday when KC and I hustle off to work and school, leaving her alone with Octavia whom we more commonly refer to as "Trouble". And she is trouble.

Just yesterday I caught her sliding down the banister, hiding in the laundry hamper, swinging from the broomstick angel, dipping her paws into the fish tank, and swan diving from the table directly on top of an unsuspecting Emma, and all this within the space of 10 minutes - swear to God.

And she's driving us all nuts. Even poor KC who came into my bedroom yesterday morning, complaining that Octavia had woken her up by repeatedly nudging against her face with her paws in a desperate attempt to play at almost 5 in the morning.

Still it's hard not to love the little ball of fluff, even despite the fact that she thinks she's a press on the window Garfield attachment whenever I forget and leave the front screen door open. And even harder still when she gets tired of being such a pain in the ass and crawls into your lap for a cuddle, where she promptly falls asleep and appears almost angelic, except for the fact that you know better having seen her in action.

But it wouldn't be home without her now. And I think even Emma would agree.

Curses!

Lost an entire post thanks to Blogger borking out on me, and not feeling like taking time to rethink and repost it.

So until tomorrow bloggies and bloggets, goodbye and good night.

This was always one of my favorite pictures of me as a kid. My Mom took this shot on one of our many camping trips. A lot of good memories here.

Attention K-Mart Shoppers, There Are Exactly 16 Shopping Days Left

I will be thirty in 16 days.

And it seems quite unbelievable to type that, as much as it is to say that. Because if anything, I hardly feel that I've aged much at all. I'm still the same wise ass kid with a good sense of humor, and a milk chocolate heart hidden beneath a hard candy coated outer shell. I'm still the same girl who can't tell a lie without giving herself away with a grin as wide as Montana. And I'm still the same Stacey, as stubborn as the day is long and mule-headed when I sink my teeth into a fight I believe is worth fighting. And I'm still the same young girl rescuing animals in need, venturing out into the night to watch the stars, and talking a mile a minute, even when there is no audience to hear.

There's a thousand stories I could tell, ranging from the dumbest things I've done, the saddest things that have happened and the proudest moments I have had. And I guess, what I've learned in these past soon to be thirty years, is that no matter what, you've just got to be who you are, because you know, there's no one quite like you.

Steadfast

We had a chance, and we lost it. We had hope, and now those hopes are dashed. We had a vision of a better America, a fair America, but now that America is as lost as last nights dream.

We are a nation divided, a battleground both here and abroad. We are the unheard voices that cried for change, prayed for new guidance and woke to a morning that heralded defeat, stealing the victory we hoped to gain.

We are names that make up a nation, countless faces in a crowd. And we stood together daring to be counted, determined to plot a path for change, eager to see our much beloved country returned to her original state of glory, intent on taking back her integrity and her pride.

Wondering now as I do, what went wrong, and where, and why it is we’ve four more years of leadership by a man who has already proven that he cannot get the job done, dread pools in my stomach like lead crystals, sinking me to the depths of despair of what my country has done to itself.

And no country is a force unto itself. Something it seems Mr. Bush has forgotten, or at least chosen to ignore during his first term. And so I say to those Americans, feeling as I feel tonight, our quest is not over, but has only just begun. And let us not wallow in our own disappointment but continue to stand and be counted as voices that will not concede their right to be heard.

Mr. Kerry, the world is proud of your efforts.

And I for one still believe ...

Don't Give Up John Kerry ...

Until the very last vote is counted. Until the very last voice is heard. And because the idea of G.W. Bush in office for four more years scares me in ways that defy the written word. Don't give up, don't give in, the race isn't won, and this election isn't over.

John Kerry, I still believe.

Election Day

If ever there was a day that could change the course of history, then today is it. And I for one, will be making sure to get myself to my local polling place and cast my vote for our future, and what I hope will be our new President. And I suppose I'm also really looking forward to the end of all the political propaganda that has been infiltrating every media facet known to man these past six months. To not see a political advertisement on the tele will be like heaven.

Another long day scheduled at work today. I left quite a stack on my desk last night to go home on time. I did however manage to talk my boss into letting Toni and I take a comp day in the near future for having spent our entire day at work Saturday. And as it turns out, he was quite unhappy that Toni and I - both salary - were made to stay the entire time, while hourly's were let out to leave hours and hours before. Especially when he thought that we would have been out of there by noon. This of course prompting a rash of CDS's. Also known as Closed Door Syndrome.

Still I'm happy to at least be walking away with a comp day. Especially since I think I'm going to use it to leave a 1/2 day earlier for my vacation, and my drive to North Carolina. Besides, I'm not exactly looking forward to spending my entire birthday driving in a car. It's kind of hard to open presents that way ...

Times, They Are a Changing

Woke up this morning thoroughly confused as to what time it could really be and wondered for a good half hour if maybe my alarm clock, the preview guide channel and the morning news had all managed to get the time wrong too. And as I came to realize in my ever infinite wisdom, I managed to set my clock back not once, but twice ... Which actually turned out well, considering I slept through the first hour of my alarm chiming off in fifteen minute intervals as I kept pressing the snooze button.

KC fell asleep exhausted last night, and didn't even give me a bit of trouble about heading straight to bed from getting home. I think the poor thing was plain tuckered out, and since Daddy Dearest didn't allow her to bring her candy home (for what dumb reason I don't know) I didn't have to deal with a massive sugar high. Though I do think it is a bit stupid of him to only allow her to eat her treats at his house, where she will surely gorge herself silly, knowing she cannot bring it home, the next time that she is there. Oh well, he's an ass and there's not much that is going to change that. I just wish his ass-ishness didn't also carry over to Christmas. There's no reason why she couldn't bring some of her gifts home to play with, while leaving some of them at his house as well. But like Halloween, that just doesn't happen. I guess I was just lucky when I was her age, my father at least understood that presents given to me, were my choice as to where to keep them.

In other news, my Mom sent me a cute email this morning. A bit of which - and I hope she won't mind - I want to share with you all this morning.

Went to a political rally Friday night-heard John Edwards, Mrs. Edwards and their daughter, Kate. Spoke with a bunch of college kids for Kerry-they are very optimistic about Tuesday. The rally was great except I thought my feet were going to fall off - stood for hours on a cement floor, but was only about 10 feet from the stage. Jon Bovi performed at the rally (an acoustic set) and let me just say, he can really sing, he looks great in Levi jeans (I could read the little tag on his backpocket-that's how close I was), he has absolutely beautiful teeth and a great smile.

The Jon Bovi reference gave me a bit of a giggle this morning, so much so in fact, that I almost don't have the heart to tell her that it's Jon Bon Jovi. Though I do quite agree with the Levi comment as well as the pearly whites ...

It is however time to motivate for work. To all of you in the great big blue out there, have a fantabulous day!
 
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