According to (somewhat) reliable sources, I have evidently, and inadvertently committed the caridinal sin of all telephone anwering machine outgoing messages. (Gasp!) The following is a true representation of said questionable outgoing message in its entirety.

"Hi, this is Stacey. We can't come to the phone right now, so please leave your name, number and a message, and we'll return your call as soon as possible. Thanks."

OK ... Maybe I am guilty of the proverbial "we" usage, but considering that I was representing KC, without naming her as a member of the household, I believe immunity is in order . After all, I hit two birds with one stone ... One, I've let callers know that more than one person lives at my residence and two, callers are not aware said second resident is under the age of ten. Personally, I think it's awful tricky of me.

But according to the SRS, (somewhat reliable source, for those of you in need of a refresher on the lingo) my error occurred by stating my name, both clearly and precisely, for all the world to hear when calling my machine. Damn! Now the telemarketers know who I am! Oh the travesty!

Thanks to the SRS's quick thinking, and message stating my obvious breach of answering machine etiquette, I quickly amended my message before heading out the door again, in search of yet another adventure. Howver when I got home later, I was surprised to see that the little red light on my answering machine was blinking furiously. Very interesting.

Counting off the number of messages, I felt sure that finally I was getting the appreciation I deserved, with my new outgoing message ... That or I'd gotten extremely popular while I was out, in which case the telemarketers, must have been extremely disappointed to have missed me and/or the SRS had called back and heard my message change. In either case, I rubbed my hands with glee, eager to hear my messages.

"Oh wonderful. Your name is on there ten times now ... I guess I must have missed you again ... Unless you're there listening ... There's a word for that ... Telephone voyeurism."

There is a lesson to be learned here kiddies ... When it comes to constructive criticism, it usually backfires.
My new message is of course the pinacle of all examples to be made from this tragic error in judgement.

"Hi this is Stacey. Stacey is not currently taking calls. If you'd like to leave a message for Stacey, press one. Stacey will call you back just as soon as she is able."

Hi ho ... Now it's off to work I go. (Does anyone else find it disturbing that the 7 dwarfs went off to work singing "Hi Ho"? Evidently it's kind of like "ciao" in Italian, both a greeting as well as a closing ... Still, I don't think it's quite right that they were calling Snow White a "ho" ... She did earn her keep after all.) Mwaa ha ha ha ha.