Just so Mom doesn't worry ... I'll not be driving home after tonight's festivities are over.
Until tomorrow people. Happy New Year!
A Quiet End to 2004
Dear ...
It's hard to be so quiet when it comes to you. I know we haven't spoken in almost forever, but I thought I'd write you anyway and tell you a little bit about my life this year.
In January I met a man, and for the first time in a long time, I felt real arms wrapped around me. And it was wonderful to feel wanted, nice to not be lonely, good to feel secure. I thought I could make it work - as if such a thing were possible - I thought it would be easy to let myself be loved and give that love back in return. But it turns out, I let myself be fooled by something that wasn't love. And it broke my heart, the heart that didn't love but didn't want to be lonely either. And I was sad, crying real tears for the emptiness that I felt inside. I wanted to call you up crying, to hear you tell me to pull myself back together, to have you say that I deserved something more. (Granted I knew I deserved something more, I just needed someone to agree with me.) And you were always so good at that, giving me encouragement when I needed it most. Like the time you told me that making rainbows was up to me. I could have any color I wanted, if only I would choose to do something, to do anything.
But as you know I didn't call.
Instead I managed to bring all the pieces of me back together, patching them the best I could in my fragmented but whole sort of way. For a while, I considered painting myself a sign to carry with me when I was out in public, "Broken but mending. Handle me with care." But when all was said and done, I decided my blog was a much better way to vent all my frustrations.
In family news, KC's gotten so big this year. She'll be nine in seven days. Can you believe that? You haven't seen her since she was a small, wee one still in footie pajamas, carrying around her sippy cup. She's quite the girl now, all grown up in a little girl sort of way. You would admire her moxy, the way she speaks her mind. She's got spirit I'll tell you that and she isn't afraid of anything, although sometimes I wish she wasn't so fearless.
We went to Mom's for Thanksgiving this year, stayed at her new house on the lake. And KC decided she wanted to give canoeing a try, so Mom strapped her into the life preserver and helped her find her footing in the boat, giving her a quick lesson on how to steer with the paddle. And off went my little girl, leaving me feeling as if I were watching her paddle out into the middle of an ocean, rather than the small lake on which she was on. I have to admit I was a bit scared, though I tried to cover it with humor, yelling from the shore that I wasn't about to jump in to rescue her if she should fall in. I can hear you laughing at that one, you know me too well, I would have been in the water without a moments hesitation if she had needed me. It's what Mom's do.
I'm still writing. Haven't quite finished the book yet, but every day gets me a little closer. Someday when it's done, I'll save part of the dedication for you, maybe even send you an autographed copy, along with all the other friends I've met this year. And I've made so many. Many whose faces I have never seen and voices I've never heard, but their words come to me so clear and unexpected that quite like an act of kindness, I am constantly thankful for the reminder that there is so much untouched good in the world. Who would have thought this simple little blog would have brought such joy to my heart?
In other news, I'm still working where I worked before. It's still not my ideal job, but it gets us through each week and so I'm happy to have it. I am however thinking about going back to school to finish my degree. Last night I was looking up courses online for the upcoming spring semester, wondering if there is a way I can fit that into my schedule. Perhaps with a little more thought, I can find a way to make that happen.
But listen to me going on like this when I should be getting ready. You'll be happy to know that I'm not sitting home alone tonight. Martin, Brenda and I are going out to dinner to celebrate the New Year and then maybe to the movies as well. That or we're going to go back to their place and just giggle and talk our way into the New Year. I can't think of a better way to spend it ... Well unless you were willing to travel a million miles or so, and remind me how clever you are when it comes to making comments on just about everything and anything.
All in all, it wasn't a bad year. See I didn't adopt a pity party me atmosphere at all. I learned a lot about who I'm still becoming and who I want to be now that I'm looking through the eyes of a thirty year old woman. And you know, it's not all that bad being me, being thirty. It's just another new beginning. A fresh go round. Oh lord, would you look at the time, a half hour to be ready and out the door ... Perhaps time management should make the resolution list for 2005. Which reminds me, I still have to write it ... I am if not always predictable, somewhat late.
As always I wish the best for you.
No closing needed.
Stacey
It's hard to be so quiet when it comes to you. I know we haven't spoken in almost forever, but I thought I'd write you anyway and tell you a little bit about my life this year.
In January I met a man, and for the first time in a long time, I felt real arms wrapped around me. And it was wonderful to feel wanted, nice to not be lonely, good to feel secure. I thought I could make it work - as if such a thing were possible - I thought it would be easy to let myself be loved and give that love back in return. But it turns out, I let myself be fooled by something that wasn't love. And it broke my heart, the heart that didn't love but didn't want to be lonely either. And I was sad, crying real tears for the emptiness that I felt inside. I wanted to call you up crying, to hear you tell me to pull myself back together, to have you say that I deserved something more. (Granted I knew I deserved something more, I just needed someone to agree with me.) And you were always so good at that, giving me encouragement when I needed it most. Like the time you told me that making rainbows was up to me. I could have any color I wanted, if only I would choose to do something, to do anything.
But as you know I didn't call.
Instead I managed to bring all the pieces of me back together, patching them the best I could in my fragmented but whole sort of way. For a while, I considered painting myself a sign to carry with me when I was out in public, "Broken but mending. Handle me with care." But when all was said and done, I decided my blog was a much better way to vent all my frustrations.
In family news, KC's gotten so big this year. She'll be nine in seven days. Can you believe that? You haven't seen her since she was a small, wee one still in footie pajamas, carrying around her sippy cup. She's quite the girl now, all grown up in a little girl sort of way. You would admire her moxy, the way she speaks her mind. She's got spirit I'll tell you that and she isn't afraid of anything, although sometimes I wish she wasn't so fearless.
We went to Mom's for Thanksgiving this year, stayed at her new house on the lake. And KC decided she wanted to give canoeing a try, so Mom strapped her into the life preserver and helped her find her footing in the boat, giving her a quick lesson on how to steer with the paddle. And off went my little girl, leaving me feeling as if I were watching her paddle out into the middle of an ocean, rather than the small lake on which she was on. I have to admit I was a bit scared, though I tried to cover it with humor, yelling from the shore that I wasn't about to jump in to rescue her if she should fall in. I can hear you laughing at that one, you know me too well, I would have been in the water without a moments hesitation if she had needed me. It's what Mom's do.
I'm still writing. Haven't quite finished the book yet, but every day gets me a little closer. Someday when it's done, I'll save part of the dedication for you, maybe even send you an autographed copy, along with all the other friends I've met this year. And I've made so many. Many whose faces I have never seen and voices I've never heard, but their words come to me so clear and unexpected that quite like an act of kindness, I am constantly thankful for the reminder that there is so much untouched good in the world. Who would have thought this simple little blog would have brought such joy to my heart?
In other news, I'm still working where I worked before. It's still not my ideal job, but it gets us through each week and so I'm happy to have it. I am however thinking about going back to school to finish my degree. Last night I was looking up courses online for the upcoming spring semester, wondering if there is a way I can fit that into my schedule. Perhaps with a little more thought, I can find a way to make that happen.
But listen to me going on like this when I should be getting ready. You'll be happy to know that I'm not sitting home alone tonight. Martin, Brenda and I are going out to dinner to celebrate the New Year and then maybe to the movies as well. That or we're going to go back to their place and just giggle and talk our way into the New Year. I can't think of a better way to spend it ... Well unless you were willing to travel a million miles or so, and remind me how clever you are when it comes to making comments on just about everything and anything.
All in all, it wasn't a bad year. See I didn't adopt a pity party me atmosphere at all. I learned a lot about who I'm still becoming and who I want to be now that I'm looking through the eyes of a thirty year old woman. And you know, it's not all that bad being me, being thirty. It's just another new beginning. A fresh go round. Oh lord, would you look at the time, a half hour to be ready and out the door ... Perhaps time management should make the resolution list for 2005. Which reminds me, I still have to write it ... I am if not always predictable, somewhat late.
As always I wish the best for you.
No closing needed.
Stacey
Shard-less
It finally happened! The day I've been waiting for my entire life - or at least the last three weeks. It was mid-afternoon and I was in my office watching Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean on the portable DVD player that KC actually got for Christmas - which would also be the same one that she doesn't know I'm borrowing - eating my lunch which consisted of a soft taco supreme from Taco Bell and a cold Code Red, when I felt the urge to kick at the shard with my tongue.
Now I've spent the better part of the last three weeks working on wiggling the shard around little by little, getting it used to the idea that eventually I was expecting it to come out, when suddenly and quite painfully there came a snap, quickly followed by the taste of blood on my tongue. "Ow!" I yelled to no one in particular, as no one in particular yelled back. Inside my gum I could still feel the shard, but it was turned in a different direction and as I pressed my finger against my gum, I could feel it moving around my mouth like a marble.
I suppose I could have shut my mouth, taken a drink and swallowed thereby knocking the shard out from its hiding place but I wasn't about to let the shard go without seeing it for what it truly was. So I fished around for a moment, pushing it with my tongue, pressing against it with my finger until there it was, in my hand like a golden globe and I was in awe.
It was the smallest, tiniest little piece of bone shard I'd ever seen. Miniscule really. And had you asked me how long I thought it was, I would have told you it was a long thin bone the size of an inchworm. Instead it was shaped somewhat like a triangle with a serrated edge. Still it was a proud moment for me.
"Come and see THE SHARD!" I yelled to my co-workers. "I am in mouth heaven! Look, I can move my mouth! I can talk without pain!"
One collective groan from the office later, and the smarmy comment, "I suppose this means she's planning on catching up on all the talking she hasn't done in weeks," I had a small crowd gathered in my office to see THE SHARD.
But to say the least they weren't impressed, as one who hasn't been one with THE SHARD would feel. Forgiving them their ignorance, I quickly located a spare plastic baggy sealing THE SHARD in. While Brenda, being the good friend she is, emailed me to let me know that tomorrow when I come over, we will take a picture of THE SHARD with her digital camera and upload it to the blog.
I know, I know ... Waiting to see evidence of THE SHARD is going to be difficult. But rest assured my sweet, smart, wonderful friends pictures will be forthcoming!
Now I've spent the better part of the last three weeks working on wiggling the shard around little by little, getting it used to the idea that eventually I was expecting it to come out, when suddenly and quite painfully there came a snap, quickly followed by the taste of blood on my tongue. "Ow!" I yelled to no one in particular, as no one in particular yelled back. Inside my gum I could still feel the shard, but it was turned in a different direction and as I pressed my finger against my gum, I could feel it moving around my mouth like a marble.
I suppose I could have shut my mouth, taken a drink and swallowed thereby knocking the shard out from its hiding place but I wasn't about to let the shard go without seeing it for what it truly was. So I fished around for a moment, pushing it with my tongue, pressing against it with my finger until there it was, in my hand like a golden globe and I was in awe.
It was the smallest, tiniest little piece of bone shard I'd ever seen. Miniscule really. And had you asked me how long I thought it was, I would have told you it was a long thin bone the size of an inchworm. Instead it was shaped somewhat like a triangle with a serrated edge. Still it was a proud moment for me.
"Come and see THE SHARD!" I yelled to my co-workers. "I am in mouth heaven! Look, I can move my mouth! I can talk without pain!"
One collective groan from the office later, and the smarmy comment, "I suppose this means she's planning on catching up on all the talking she hasn't done in weeks," I had a small crowd gathered in my office to see THE SHARD.
But to say the least they weren't impressed, as one who hasn't been one with THE SHARD would feel. Forgiving them their ignorance, I quickly located a spare plastic baggy sealing THE SHARD in. While Brenda, being the good friend she is, emailed me to let me know that tomorrow when I come over, we will take a picture of THE SHARD with her digital camera and upload it to the blog.
I know, I know ... Waiting to see evidence of THE SHARD is going to be difficult. But rest assured my sweet, smart, wonderful friends pictures will be forthcoming!
Too Much
I slept like shit. I woke up late. My jeans are in the dryer. My jeans are not dry. I'm not going to work without my jeans. Or anything else for that matter ...
I dreamt about bodies. Dead floating bodies. I have to turn off my TV. I have to turn off my radio. I cannot wrap my mind around a number unfathomable for those that have been lost, for those that are still missing. My heart suffers for people I do not know. I'm lucky to only complain about my lack of sleep, the jeans that are not dry.
Amazoncom. has a one click solution to lend a helping hand to Tsunami victims. I urge you all to help in any way you can.
I dreamt about bodies. Dead floating bodies. I have to turn off my TV. I have to turn off my radio. I cannot wrap my mind around a number unfathomable for those that have been lost, for those that are still missing. My heart suffers for people I do not know. I'm lucky to only complain about my lack of sleep, the jeans that are not dry.
Amazoncom. has a one click solution to lend a helping hand to Tsunami victims. I urge you all to help in any way you can.
Brain Games
Believe it or not, I've been doing some reflective thinking this week. And considering the time of year, it seems rather appropriate to have set myself to this task so close to the season of resolutions.
Last year my resolution list was pretty much a joke - just as it was meant to be. I thought I had finally figured out how to get around the guilt of breaking resolutions, by not making any that were actually serious.
I have however decided against maintaining my same lackadaisical attitude from last year, with the plan to make this year's list something worthy of accomplishment.
But before I get to all of that, I thought it might be interesting to take a look back on everything 2004 had to teach me. Unfortunately due to the length of that list, I will be posting that tomorrow, after I've had some time to collect my thoughts.
For now, all I can think about is my bed and the hope that I don't have as many complicated dreams as I had last night. (Ie: Running through a dark forest filled with snakes, swimming to the bottom of an ocean located in my backyard to rescue a group of air travelers in a badly damaged and submerged plane, making mint chocolate chip ice cream cones for a group of people I didn't know ... And waking up wondering What the Fuck??)
Last year my resolution list was pretty much a joke - just as it was meant to be. I thought I had finally figured out how to get around the guilt of breaking resolutions, by not making any that were actually serious.
I have however decided against maintaining my same lackadaisical attitude from last year, with the plan to make this year's list something worthy of accomplishment.
But before I get to all of that, I thought it might be interesting to take a look back on everything 2004 had to teach me. Unfortunately due to the length of that list, I will be posting that tomorrow, after I've had some time to collect my thoughts.
For now, all I can think about is my bed and the hope that I don't have as many complicated dreams as I had last night. (Ie: Running through a dark forest filled with snakes, swimming to the bottom of an ocean located in my backyard to rescue a group of air travelers in a badly damaged and submerged plane, making mint chocolate chip ice cream cones for a group of people I didn't know ... And waking up wondering What the Fuck??)
Signing On the Dotted Line
If it's not one thing, it's another.
First the painful bone shard which is still a prominent and annoying feature in my mouth, and now some serious cold/flu related symptoms which with the help of some dayquil has been modified at least a little bit.
In the meantime, KC and I have to run into town really quick, so I can sign on for another year at the townhouse. And it's either sign the lease, or pay $25.00 extra a month to remain lease free. All I have to say is, who knew my little old signature could be worth so much?
But even as I dread having to go out in the cold, I've already got plans on what I'm doing the moment we get back. Couch. Blanket. Movie. And if I'm lucky, maybe even a nap to catch up on all the sleep I didn't get last night, thanks to a runny nose, sore throat, mind numbing fever, and the shard.
Ugh! I remember it was only about a month ago, when I was still 29 and the world was still wonderful. Now that I'm 30, I'm falling apart, breaking down and seeing more gray hairs than I care to admit to. Perhaps I'll stop at the drug store on my way home and grab some home hair color ...
Age gracefully, I think not.
First the painful bone shard which is still a prominent and annoying feature in my mouth, and now some serious cold/flu related symptoms which with the help of some dayquil has been modified at least a little bit.
In the meantime, KC and I have to run into town really quick, so I can sign on for another year at the townhouse. And it's either sign the lease, or pay $25.00 extra a month to remain lease free. All I have to say is, who knew my little old signature could be worth so much?
But even as I dread having to go out in the cold, I've already got plans on what I'm doing the moment we get back. Couch. Blanket. Movie. And if I'm lucky, maybe even a nap to catch up on all the sleep I didn't get last night, thanks to a runny nose, sore throat, mind numbing fever, and the shard.
Ugh! I remember it was only about a month ago, when I was still 29 and the world was still wonderful. Now that I'm 30, I'm falling apart, breaking down and seeing more gray hairs than I care to admit to. Perhaps I'll stop at the drug store on my way home and grab some home hair color ...
Age gracefully, I think not.
Under the Weather
I had a feeling late last night when my throat started to feel a bit patchy and my head a bit woozy that I was starting to feel a bit unwell. Now I am quite certain that I am on the road to illville, sitting here with my face flushed and hot to touch, head pounding like a dozen hammers, and a throat that feels as raw as an ice skating pond after closing.
Technically speaking, I have a low grade fever. Something that wouldn't normally concern me terribly, except I cannot take the pain meds for the bone shard along with medicine to fight the cold. Hence I must make a decision on which is more important ... A decision I should say is a toss up at the moment.
Be that as that may, and considering I'm all sorts of tired, I think I'll say goodnight and talk to you all tomorrow. To those of you awaiting response for emails you've sent, rest assured the words are in my brain and will be forthcoming as soon as I've taken a nap, and set myself to rights.
Technically speaking, I have a low grade fever. Something that wouldn't normally concern me terribly, except I cannot take the pain meds for the bone shard along with medicine to fight the cold. Hence I must make a decision on which is more important ... A decision I should say is a toss up at the moment.
Be that as that may, and considering I'm all sorts of tired, I think I'll say goodnight and talk to you all tomorrow. To those of you awaiting response for emails you've sent, rest assured the words are in my brain and will be forthcoming as soon as I've taken a nap, and set myself to rights.
It's The Day AFTER Christmas
I cannot see the living room floor, though I'm quite sure it's somewhere under all the empty boxes, Styrofoam inserts, plastic shrink wrap, and toy after toy after toy spread about the room.
KC's decided on a free for all this morning. She's free to make a grand and glorious mess, and I'm free to pick it up right behind her. Except I'm on hiatus having just loaded the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen counters, and picked up a scattering of plastic bags the cats decided to strew about the house in the middle of the night.
I'm also planning on taking the tree down and out today. I know this sounds horribly grinchy of me, but it must be done. Octavia refuses to stay out the tree, I'm tired of picking up ornaments off the floor, and having both stepped on some incredible sharp pine needles, KC and I have come to the conclusion that either it goes or we goes.
Perhaps if I appear helpless - notice I'm not being rude and saying blonde - later when I drag the tree out of the house, I'll draw the attention of my one and only cute single neighbor, enticing him out of his place long enough to bat my eyelashes a few times and garner a proposal. Not in the way of marriage mind you, but dinner would be nice.
KC would be embarrassed if she could hear me. The last time I made some purring noise from the back of my throat as I stood freezing my tail off in the driveway talking to BND - Boy Next Door - she was in her words, wanting to throw up. I told her she'd understand the whole boy/girl thing someday - warning at the same time that someday better be when she's moved out of my house and on the verge of graduating from college. KC only response was to scrunch up her face, while clutching her stomach as she made fake hacking up a hair-ball noises.
Oh lord, I really need to get in the shower and face the day and I need to stop back down to Dad's and see how he's feeling. The poor guy was sicker than a dog last night and didn't get to enjoy the festivities much at all. And to know my Dad is to know that his favorite holiday - bar none - is Christmas. I can never quite figure out who enjoys Christmas more, Dad or all the grandchildren. My money's on Dad ...
My sister Audrey also flies out today for her home in Baltimore ... And I really should see her off before she goes and offer her some sort of sisterly advice even though there's nothing that immediately comes to mind. Except maybe get a better apartment, one with a kitchenette and indoor plumbing.
I'm also going to have to run to my stepfather's today and do the whole Christmas visit/gift exchange thing. This is one of those things that I know I have to do but dread doing all the same. One would think this would get easier every year, but it doesn't. I've got an endless well of love for the man, but sometimes I have an incredibly hard time of showing it. And now there is this wall that seems to separate us from having a real conversation besides one based on the weather and the polite how is everything going in your world, where the answers are the ones they want to hear, rather than the real ones you'd like to give.
Ah well ... Life is meant to be challenging, is it not?
As far as presents go, KC and I were completely spoiled once again this year. My Mother and Ken sent me some lovely pottery in my favorite milk chocolate colors, and two gorgeous hand carved angels that will surely be a welcome addition to my collection. I'd list some of KC's things but there are far too many to tell, and every one of them seems to be her favorite, so to do it justice I'd have to write a list twice as long as Santa's ...
Dad surprised me with a beautiful mosquito netting for my four poster bed, that I thought went completely over his head when I mentioned it in passing. And a total shocker of a new TV - what size it is I'm not sure though the box is very big and heavy, and I'm pretty sure it's a 24" or better - because I had also mentioned that the TV downstairs was on the brink of going kaput ... I really didn't expect much of anything this year, so I've certainly no complaints.
On top of all that, my sister Jodi gifted me with a Barnes and Noble gift card and managed to talk Dad into doing the same as well as renewing my B&N membership. With $75.00 to spend all on books, I've got to wait for a day when I can go alone and lose myself in the shelves for a while. It's like a dream come true ...
Long story short, Christmas went off without a hitch - with maybe one or two small hiccups, but nothing that rocked the house from its foundation. Leaving me with only one more thing to do, which is get in the gosh darn shower and motivate. I've got two hungry little cats, and one can of wet food left in the cupboard. And I don't know about you, but when the natives are restless and hungry, they have a habit of destroying everything in their paths.
So I'm out ... Hope all of you out there are catching on your sleep, enjoying your families or lack there of, and having an all around sort of good day.
Until sooner rather than later ...
KC's decided on a free for all this morning. She's free to make a grand and glorious mess, and I'm free to pick it up right behind her. Except I'm on hiatus having just loaded the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen counters, and picked up a scattering of plastic bags the cats decided to strew about the house in the middle of the night.
I'm also planning on taking the tree down and out today. I know this sounds horribly grinchy of me, but it must be done. Octavia refuses to stay out the tree, I'm tired of picking up ornaments off the floor, and having both stepped on some incredible sharp pine needles, KC and I have come to the conclusion that either it goes or we goes.
Perhaps if I appear helpless - notice I'm not being rude and saying blonde - later when I drag the tree out of the house, I'll draw the attention of my one and only cute single neighbor, enticing him out of his place long enough to bat my eyelashes a few times and garner a proposal. Not in the way of marriage mind you, but dinner would be nice.
KC would be embarrassed if she could hear me. The last time I made some purring noise from the back of my throat as I stood freezing my tail off in the driveway talking to BND - Boy Next Door - she was in her words, wanting to throw up. I told her she'd understand the whole boy/girl thing someday - warning at the same time that someday better be when she's moved out of my house and on the verge of graduating from college. KC only response was to scrunch up her face, while clutching her stomach as she made fake hacking up a hair-ball noises.
Oh lord, I really need to get in the shower and face the day and I need to stop back down to Dad's and see how he's feeling. The poor guy was sicker than a dog last night and didn't get to enjoy the festivities much at all. And to know my Dad is to know that his favorite holiday - bar none - is Christmas. I can never quite figure out who enjoys Christmas more, Dad or all the grandchildren. My money's on Dad ...
My sister Audrey also flies out today for her home in Baltimore ... And I really should see her off before she goes and offer her some sort of sisterly advice even though there's nothing that immediately comes to mind. Except maybe get a better apartment, one with a kitchenette and indoor plumbing.
I'm also going to have to run to my stepfather's today and do the whole Christmas visit/gift exchange thing. This is one of those things that I know I have to do but dread doing all the same. One would think this would get easier every year, but it doesn't. I've got an endless well of love for the man, but sometimes I have an incredibly hard time of showing it. And now there is this wall that seems to separate us from having a real conversation besides one based on the weather and the polite how is everything going in your world, where the answers are the ones they want to hear, rather than the real ones you'd like to give.
Ah well ... Life is meant to be challenging, is it not?
As far as presents go, KC and I were completely spoiled once again this year. My Mother and Ken sent me some lovely pottery in my favorite milk chocolate colors, and two gorgeous hand carved angels that will surely be a welcome addition to my collection. I'd list some of KC's things but there are far too many to tell, and every one of them seems to be her favorite, so to do it justice I'd have to write a list twice as long as Santa's ...
Dad surprised me with a beautiful mosquito netting for my four poster bed, that I thought went completely over his head when I mentioned it in passing. And a total shocker of a new TV - what size it is I'm not sure though the box is very big and heavy, and I'm pretty sure it's a 24" or better - because I had also mentioned that the TV downstairs was on the brink of going kaput ... I really didn't expect much of anything this year, so I've certainly no complaints.
On top of all that, my sister Jodi gifted me with a Barnes and Noble gift card and managed to talk Dad into doing the same as well as renewing my B&N membership. With $75.00 to spend all on books, I've got to wait for a day when I can go alone and lose myself in the shelves for a while. It's like a dream come true ...
Long story short, Christmas went off without a hitch - with maybe one or two small hiccups, but nothing that rocked the house from its foundation. Leaving me with only one more thing to do, which is get in the gosh darn shower and motivate. I've got two hungry little cats, and one can of wet food left in the cupboard. And I don't know about you, but when the natives are restless and hungry, they have a habit of destroying everything in their paths.
So I'm out ... Hope all of you out there are catching on your sleep, enjoying your families or lack there of, and having an all around sort of good day.
Until sooner rather than later ...
Closed For Christmas
Yet another Christmas Day draws to a close, and I for one am exhausted. KC is practically falling over herself asleep, trying to play with one of everything from her entire pile of loot. But I'm about to put the kabash on that and pack us all upstairs to bed. Tomorrow is another day ... So I will leave the details for tomorrow.
Goodnight Moon.
Goodnight Moon.
The Christmas Agenda
How dedicated am I, posting here on Christmas morning?
Actually I'm playing the waiting game, waiting for KC to get home. I also have to wrap a few more presents, tag them, and get them under the tree or packed in the to go box to take them down to Dad's later.
Speaking of Dad he left me a message earlier, wanting to know if I wanted to go with him to my sister's to watch my niece and nephew open their gifts. Evidently since I slept through the phone call, I've opted to pass on that. Surprisingly, my grandmother was also on my machine, calling to say how much she enjoyed the old fashioned hand carved Santa Claus I got her this year. I wish I would have been awake to take her call, but I'll give her a buzz later tonight when I think she's gotten home from my Uncle's. It makes me happy to know that she totally loves it, even though she yelled at me for spending money on her.
As for the rest of this morning, like I said, I've a few more presents to wrap and rearrange under the tree thanks to Em and Tavi fighting like little banshees this morning and knocking all the gifts around in their BC Battle. And Dad will be coming over near the time KC gets home to do his annual video taping of everyone's Christmas morning prior to the main taping this afternoon when everyone meets at his house for the big "it's going to be a poor Christmas" unveiling. Funny, my Dad says that every year and yet every year there are so many damn presents in the living room, one can barely find an empty space to sit down.
Ooops. I almost forgot I've also volunteered to go pick up my sister Audrey who is flying in from Baltimore at the airport in Syracuse this afternoon. The poor kid hasn't had much luck lately. Her studio apartment flooded from an unexpected pipe burst, ruining most of her stuff and her job would only give her today off for the holiday, expecting her back to work tomorrow. Which means she's flying in today and flying right back out tomorrow morning. On the bright side, at least she won't have to spend the holiday alone, albeit it will be a done too soon sort of visit. (Though perhaps knowing how things tend to go whenever my sisters and I all spend too much time alone in cramped quarters, a quick visit is a good thing. Not that we don't all love each other, we just tend to agree that we disagree about most things. That and too many alpha personalities in the same room don't tend to mesh. Although I should mention that I am the cutest and nicest of them all ... Or not.)
I only wish that my Mom lived close enough to share in these same festivities ...
Anyhoo to all of you out there, enjoy your day today. And most importantly remember that Christmas isn't about what you get under the tree, it's about what you take home with you in your hearts. (And God bless us, every one.)
Actually I'm playing the waiting game, waiting for KC to get home. I also have to wrap a few more presents, tag them, and get them under the tree or packed in the to go box to take them down to Dad's later.
Speaking of Dad he left me a message earlier, wanting to know if I wanted to go with him to my sister's to watch my niece and nephew open their gifts. Evidently since I slept through the phone call, I've opted to pass on that. Surprisingly, my grandmother was also on my machine, calling to say how much she enjoyed the old fashioned hand carved Santa Claus I got her this year. I wish I would have been awake to take her call, but I'll give her a buzz later tonight when I think she's gotten home from my Uncle's. It makes me happy to know that she totally loves it, even though she yelled at me for spending money on her.
As for the rest of this morning, like I said, I've a few more presents to wrap and rearrange under the tree thanks to Em and Tavi fighting like little banshees this morning and knocking all the gifts around in their BC Battle. And Dad will be coming over near the time KC gets home to do his annual video taping of everyone's Christmas morning prior to the main taping this afternoon when everyone meets at his house for the big "it's going to be a poor Christmas" unveiling. Funny, my Dad says that every year and yet every year there are so many damn presents in the living room, one can barely find an empty space to sit down.
Ooops. I almost forgot I've also volunteered to go pick up my sister Audrey who is flying in from Baltimore at the airport in Syracuse this afternoon. The poor kid hasn't had much luck lately. Her studio apartment flooded from an unexpected pipe burst, ruining most of her stuff and her job would only give her today off for the holiday, expecting her back to work tomorrow. Which means she's flying in today and flying right back out tomorrow morning. On the bright side, at least she won't have to spend the holiday alone, albeit it will be a done too soon sort of visit. (Though perhaps knowing how things tend to go whenever my sisters and I all spend too much time alone in cramped quarters, a quick visit is a good thing. Not that we don't all love each other, we just tend to agree that we disagree about most things. That and too many alpha personalities in the same room don't tend to mesh. Although I should mention that I am the cutest and nicest of them all ... Or not.)
I only wish that my Mom lived close enough to share in these same festivities ...
Anyhoo to all of you out there, enjoy your day today. And most importantly remember that Christmas isn't about what you get under the tree, it's about what you take home with you in your hearts. (And God bless us, every one.)
Wishes
Christmas Eve was a night of song that wrapped itself about you like a shawl. But it warmed more than your body. It warmed your heart...filled it, too, with melody that would last forever."
~ Bess Streeter Aldrich (1881-1954), American author, 'Song of Years'.
May the spirit of Christmas remain warm inside your heart long after the last present has been opened and the final ornament been put away. Wishing you all the very best today, and every day in the years to come ...
Merry Christmas.
Stacey, KC, and of course Emma, (Known as Her Highness, black cat #1) Octavia, (More commonly referred to as Trouble, black cat #2) Fitzwilliam and Lizzie, (The chirpiest pair of birds this side of the Hudson) Squiggy the killer goldfish and the 4 other fish in the tank who choose to remain nameless.
~ Bess Streeter Aldrich (1881-1954), American author, 'Song of Years'.
May the spirit of Christmas remain warm inside your heart long after the last present has been opened and the final ornament been put away. Wishing you all the very best today, and every day in the years to come ...
Merry Christmas.
Stacey, KC, and of course Emma, (Known as Her Highness, black cat #1) Octavia, (More commonly referred to as Trouble, black cat #2) Fitzwilliam and Lizzie, (The chirpiest pair of birds this side of the Hudson) Squiggy the killer goldfish and the 4 other fish in the tank who choose to remain nameless.
Christmas Eve
To be honest with you all, I'm not feeling all that festive tonight. Save for the multi-colored lights sparkling on the tree, I'm sitting here in the dark listening to Christmas music by myself. A dreadful way of making yourself a bit miserable when you're already feeling blue.
KC is at her Dad's for the night and won't be home until noon tomorrow. A couple of years ago, we decided to be fair and alternate Christmas Eve and Christmas morning because it would be the best thing for KC. But to be honest, on the years that aren't mine, I spend the entire night with a broken heart just waiting for her to come home.
But I'll get through it, passing the time away just thinking about the look on her face when she gets home and opens that one special gift she was hoping would be under the tree.
Until then I think I'll have a glass of wine, reflect on the Christmas spirit, and kick myself for not getting my wayward soul into a church this year.
KC is at her Dad's for the night and won't be home until noon tomorrow. A couple of years ago, we decided to be fair and alternate Christmas Eve and Christmas morning because it would be the best thing for KC. But to be honest, on the years that aren't mine, I spend the entire night with a broken heart just waiting for her to come home.
But I'll get through it, passing the time away just thinking about the look on her face when she gets home and opens that one special gift she was hoping would be under the tree.
Until then I think I'll have a glass of wine, reflect on the Christmas spirit, and kick myself for not getting my wayward soul into a church this year.
Staring Down the Clock
Watching paint dry would have been a lot more exciting then an entire day spent in my office waiting for the phone to ring. Of course that's not saying I was overly happy when it did ring since I really wasn't in the mood to work anyway, and everyone who called seemed to have one problem or another, that I wasn't too keen on having to solve.
Solve them I did however. (No thanks to the numbnut who smucked them up and went awol on us for the day.) Not bothering to even attempt to look busy, I went from room to room in search of intelligent conversation. And though I never did find one, I still managed a few laughs here and there, although some were at my expense. Or as Cheryl found it extremely funny to say, "Ahhh Stacey. You know I'm just busting your chops." As if my chops weren't already broken!
The bossman was even kind enough to let us out a half hour early tonight, and to put it bluntly, you didn't have to ask me twice. I was packed and ready to go within 10 seconds of his statement. It probably didn't hurt that I had been whining all morning either, as I went around shouting, "Did you see it outside? Inclement weather! It's our civic duty to shut down and send everybody home." (Inclement weather seems to be the catch word for all our Southern locations. The merest hint of snowflakes and every plant south of the Mason Dixon line is suddenly closing due to inclement weather. Unfortunately this works against us Yankees. We don't close unless a state of emergency has been declared.)
Must go make dinner now since I don't hear it offering to prepare itself from the kitchen. Oh to have maid service ... I have a dream.
Solve them I did however. (No thanks to the numbnut who smucked them up and went awol on us for the day.) Not bothering to even attempt to look busy, I went from room to room in search of intelligent conversation. And though I never did find one, I still managed a few laughs here and there, although some were at my expense. Or as Cheryl found it extremely funny to say, "Ahhh Stacey. You know I'm just busting your chops." As if my chops weren't already broken!
The bossman was even kind enough to let us out a half hour early tonight, and to put it bluntly, you didn't have to ask me twice. I was packed and ready to go within 10 seconds of his statement. It probably didn't hurt that I had been whining all morning either, as I went around shouting, "Did you see it outside? Inclement weather! It's our civic duty to shut down and send everybody home." (Inclement weather seems to be the catch word for all our Southern locations. The merest hint of snowflakes and every plant south of the Mason Dixon line is suddenly closing due to inclement weather. Unfortunately this works against us Yankees. We don't close unless a state of emergency has been declared.)
Must go make dinner now since I don't hear it offering to prepare itself from the kitchen. Oh to have maid service ... I have a dream.
Spoonful of Sugar
I know I promised not to mention anything more about my teeth, but I just can't seem to help myself. They're all I think about, from the time I wake up until the time I finally fall asleep. My jaw is sore, my lips are numb, my mouth feels like it's filled with glass and I can't imagine how, despite my dwindling supply of pain meds which makes me forget about the pain for a while, I'm supposed to concentrate on anything else. I am a broken record with an incredibly sharp needle. I am girl interrupted. Maybe if I go fix myself a bowl of ice cream, I'll feel better. That is once it melts and I'm able to eat it ...
A Slow Torture
For those of you who guessed I'd be coming home early this morning after an unsuccessful trip to the dentist, go ahead and give yourself 5 points. And for those few of you who also guessed I'd find myself dissolving into tears not even three steps out of the doctor's office, to continue sobbing the entire way home as I called into work and said, "I'm in too much pain to come back," give yourself a whopping 10 points. And for those of you who are planning an intervention due to my new found addiction to percaset, just remind me how my life used to be, before constant pain led me to such drastic measures ...
Speaking of percaset, I just took two which should be knocking me out momentarily.
I think I'll go cry myself to sleep.
Speaking of percaset, I just took two which should be knocking me out momentarily.
I think I'll go cry myself to sleep.
O Degrees and Holding
Back to the dentist man today and not a moment too soon. Having bored you all with stories of my mouth, my teeth and the subsequent pain for the last two weeks, I will be getting this done and over with today if I have to grab the tweezers myself and yank half of my jawbone out. Done and over with. Period. No ifs, no buts, no let's wait one more week and see if it works itself out on its own. I so do not think so ...
Very disappointed in the minor child's school. Closed again today. For what reason other than it's bitter cold outside I do not know. This however is unusual as the place has a reputation for never, ever closing unless they can't get the engines in the buses to turn over. Now I'm going to have to plead my case to Dad this morning and pray that he'll volunteer to spend a little quality time with his granddaughter today. Although every time I try that line, his general response is, "I already spend more than enough quality time with her." And he does. He even runs her to dance class on Tuesday's. Then again, he's taken to borrowing my car on Tuesday's since the CV is put away for the winter, so maybe I have a bit of leverage. Hmmm.
I've now cut my getting ready time down to half an hour. This usually means I'll be scrambling in the next 20 minutes to get myself in gear, get KC awake and moving, and somehow manage to arrive to work with 3 to 4 minutes, oh who am I kidding - usually late by 5 and never early, and since I've got to add picking up Dad, which consists of 5 minutes in the wrong direction, I can pretty much guarantee my ass is going to be late for work. With that, I'm out of here. Wishing you all a pleasant Tuesday and a last few days of Pre-Christmas shopping.
Nanu nanu.
Very disappointed in the minor child's school. Closed again today. For what reason other than it's bitter cold outside I do not know. This however is unusual as the place has a reputation for never, ever closing unless they can't get the engines in the buses to turn over. Now I'm going to have to plead my case to Dad this morning and pray that he'll volunteer to spend a little quality time with his granddaughter today. Although every time I try that line, his general response is, "I already spend more than enough quality time with her." And he does. He even runs her to dance class on Tuesday's. Then again, he's taken to borrowing my car on Tuesday's since the CV is put away for the winter, so maybe I have a bit of leverage. Hmmm.
I've now cut my getting ready time down to half an hour. This usually means I'll be scrambling in the next 20 minutes to get myself in gear, get KC awake and moving, and somehow manage to arrive to work with 3 to 4 minutes, oh who am I kidding - usually late by 5 and never early, and since I've got to add picking up Dad, which consists of 5 minutes in the wrong direction, I can pretty much guarantee my ass is going to be late for work. With that, I'm out of here. Wishing you all a pleasant Tuesday and a last few days of Pre-Christmas shopping.
Nanu nanu.
Following in Orbling's Footsteps
Reserved, quiet, wise and free spirited
You are a sprite of the Earth: You have a deep
connection with the earth and all its
creatures, preferring plants and animals to
people you are quiet and reserved. You
understand things on a different level and can
often see straight through to a persons true
intentions. You are mysterious to everyone even
those in your family, they may live with you
but that doesn't mean they 'know' the real you.
Being inside the house for long periods of time
can be torture, you crave the outdoors and love
simply escaping up a tree or into the forest
where you can be free. Although you may be
smart you are easy to judge a person because
you fear what they 'may' be going to do. You
are wise in things that most overlook and you
are very creative in many aspects like art,
music, etc... Although try as they may to seek
you, you are a free spirit. Just let them try
to catch and put you in a cage.
.::=What type of Mythical Sprite are you?=::. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla
Half Asleep and Typing
Fairly close to crashing and burning. But then again, it's been a few days since I've put in a full day of work at the office. I spent the first half hour of my morning trying to figure out why I couldn't get my computer signed on to the network and was about to call the IT department, when I noticed someone had tried to crush my ficus with one of the faux leather chairs. And as I went to move the chair back to its normal position in front of my desk, I suddenly realized why my computer was the only one with issues. It seems, that whomever decided to borrow my office while I was out on Friday - JAKE - my supposed good friend!!! - unplugged the green cable that connects me to the network and didn't bother to plug it back in. If he had been in the office, I would have strangled him. Lucky for him, he was on the road.
KC is still not feeling up to par and though she was determined to go back to school, she lucked out and school was cancelled. This of course didn't make my day when I realized how much money I'd have to shell out for an entire day at the sitters. Oy!
But like I said, it's an early night for the both of us. KC and I are going to camp out in my room and watch movies until we fall asleep.
KC is still not feeling up to par and though she was determined to go back to school, she lucked out and school was cancelled. This of course didn't make my day when I realized how much money I'd have to shell out for an entire day at the sitters. Oy!
But like I said, it's an early night for the both of us. KC and I are going to camp out in my room and watch movies until we fall asleep.
Monday Out of Bed Blues
It's too early to face the world, but face the world I will this morning. Meanwhile the tooth situation remains the same, that is at least until tomorrow morning when I go see Dr. R yet again. And this time, I don't care if I've got to give my greatest performance of whining, he will take this shard out of my mouth, even if it requires some intense pulling on his part and some intense pain for my part. I just can't take it anymore ...
But enough from me, I've got to get ready, and let the car warm up for at least half an hour if I hope to leave on time today. It's -6 below and a bit chilly.
But enough from me, I've got to get ready, and let the car warm up for at least half an hour if I hope to leave on time today. It's -6 below and a bit chilly.
The Ace of Stace
I think I may need to cut back on my reality TV watching. Last night I had a dream that I was telling Donald Trump that I was a whole heck of a lot smarter than most of his chosen candidates, because while I possessed an infinite amount of creativity and energy, I was also blessed with practicality. The Donald for all his pomp and circumstance seemed to agree with me, nodding his head in a you're hired sort of way, and motioning me over in his direction.
"You really think you know what you're doing?" he asked in a conspiratorial whisper. Taking a moment to consider my answer and conceal my bewilderment over how he managed to flop his hair over in such an odd, feathered fashion, I looked him straight in the eye.
"Absolutely," I said, a look of complete seriousness on my face. "And as a good friend once told me, if you can't baffle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit." Eyes crinkling and mouth twitching as if to smile, The Donald laughed at my forwardness.
"You're quite something, aren't you?"
"You betcha," I laughed. "You damn well betcha."
"You really think you know what you're doing?" he asked in a conspiratorial whisper. Taking a moment to consider my answer and conceal my bewilderment over how he managed to flop his hair over in such an odd, feathered fashion, I looked him straight in the eye.
"Absolutely," I said, a look of complete seriousness on my face. "And as a good friend once told me, if you can't baffle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit." Eyes crinkling and mouth twitching as if to smile, The Donald laughed at my forwardness.
"You're quite something, aren't you?"
"You betcha," I laughed. "You damn well betcha."
Insanity
Can't eat. Can't drink. Can't speak. Can't sleep. And now can't blog!
My list of grievances today is long and lengthy. Starting with the fact that I just lost another post as I pressed the publish button. And had I taken the advice of one of my readers, to write my post someplace other than on blogger itself and then transfer it over later, I wouldn't have to be writing this all again! So as my first official gripe, Blogger please pull yourself together, stop dumping my damn posts and update my damn profile page to make it current instead of making it look like my last post was on November 5th!
But my major grievance is my GD mouth, where despite another trip to Dr. R and his bone chiseling device of torture, I'm in no better shape than I was yesterday! Which means I'm in fucking agonizing pain! How else am I supposed to feel with a piece of sharp, protruding bone fragment sticking out my gum and ripping my tongue to shreds?
But am I bitter?
You damn well better bet that I am! As bitter as I am over having never been to Disney World! But don't even get me started on that because I may just throw the sort of temper tantrum that would put a group of three year olds to shame!
On another note ... Anyone want to explain the whole concept of BlogShares with me? It seems someone has placed NWTLO on an imaginary stock market ... I wonder if I should invest?
My list of grievances today is long and lengthy. Starting with the fact that I just lost another post as I pressed the publish button. And had I taken the advice of one of my readers, to write my post someplace other than on blogger itself and then transfer it over later, I wouldn't have to be writing this all again! So as my first official gripe, Blogger please pull yourself together, stop dumping my damn posts and update my damn profile page to make it current instead of making it look like my last post was on November 5th!
But my major grievance is my GD mouth, where despite another trip to Dr. R and his bone chiseling device of torture, I'm in no better shape than I was yesterday! Which means I'm in fucking agonizing pain! How else am I supposed to feel with a piece of sharp, protruding bone fragment sticking out my gum and ripping my tongue to shreds?
But am I bitter?
You damn well better bet that I am! As bitter as I am over having never been to Disney World! But don't even get me started on that because I may just throw the sort of temper tantrum that would put a group of three year olds to shame!
On another note ... Anyone want to explain the whole concept of BlogShares with me? It seems someone has placed NWTLO on an imaginary stock market ... I wonder if I should invest?
Hookie Times Two
Friday morning and the snow is coming down in fast flurries of white. KC's wrapped up in her favorite blanket on the living room floor watching Dora with Octavia cuddled by her side. Not feeling well, complaining of a tummy ache and other assorted ailments, I decided to let her stay home with me for the day. Hopefully if she is coming down with something, an extra day of rest will do her good and see her on the mend before it can escalate into a full blown winter cold. Something that around Christmas time would really suck.
I'm about to go grab a shower and face the day. Dr. R is first on my list to call this morning in hopes he can fit me in just long enough to tell me what's going on with my mouth and possibly order me up some more pain pills since I am down to 5 and cannot fathom going the weekend without. At least not with a sharp piece of bone ripping my tongue to shreds ...
And my poor Mom seems to be in a similar predicament with her own teeth. Hopefully she'll feel better soon as well. (Miss and love you Mom!)
I'm about to go grab a shower and face the day. Dr. R is first on my list to call this morning in hopes he can fit me in just long enough to tell me what's going on with my mouth and possibly order me up some more pain pills since I am down to 5 and cannot fathom going the weekend without. At least not with a sharp piece of bone ripping my tongue to shreds ...
And my poor Mom seems to be in a similar predicament with her own teeth. Hopefully she'll feel better soon as well. (Miss and love you Mom!)
Too Much, Too Soon
Bit of a mistake going to work and to the company holiday party tonight. I went in feeling not so good, and have just gotten home feeling a thousand times worse. And on top of all that, I will be calling Dr. R in the morning for an emergency check up. It seems that there is some sort of sharp object, most likely a shard of broken tooth that has found itself locked inside my gums and with my first adventure in chewing today has broken through, cutting my tongue and making it most difficult to swallow, let alone talk.
The pain is ridiculous and the pain medication no longer touches it. And instead of having a great time with the guys tonight, I was like a mute sitting at the table while everyone else was downing their drinks, clutching my cheek in agony. Not exactly my idea of a good time, when I am a major contributor in the fun and hijinks portion of the evening.
So I'm taking tomorrow to pull myself back together, and get this thing fixed before I'm forced to survive the weekend sucking on this razor inside my mouth. But for now, I think I'll find my bed and call it a night.
The pain is ridiculous and the pain medication no longer touches it. And instead of having a great time with the guys tonight, I was like a mute sitting at the table while everyone else was downing their drinks, clutching my cheek in agony. Not exactly my idea of a good time, when I am a major contributor in the fun and hijinks portion of the evening.
So I'm taking tomorrow to pull myself back together, and get this thing fixed before I'm forced to survive the weekend sucking on this razor inside my mouth. But for now, I think I'll find my bed and call it a night.
Back to Work
On my way into work though my face feels particularly sensitive today. More so in fact than it did yesterday or the day before. But it's the Christmas party today, and I told Toni I would do my best to be there. I believe I said something about come hell or high water. And so I'm going despite my fervent wish to spend one more day on the couch wrapped up in my favorite blanket.
The Voice That Brings You Back
Suspended in ripples of slow moving consciousness. The best way I think to describe the effects the laughing gas had on me. And it was strange. The feeling that I could hear everything, the fact that I could move my hands, and the strange thought that I resembled the giant gaping mouth on the cover of Pink Floyd's The Wall DVD.
And when the drill started, I felt it in waves. Gentle at first and then building, until suddenly my eyes were open and I was saying "Ow" and Dr. R looked sort of surprised to see me awake so soon. "Easy Stacey. You're doing good," said a lady's voice by my side. "Breathe through your nose. That's it. Good." And just as suddenly as my eyes had opened, they were closed again and I was back on the astral plain floating and listening and hearing Toby Keith.
Toby Keith?
I laughed to myself, thinking that I shouldn't laugh when presumably there was some heavy artillery going on in my mouth but I couldn't help it. Dr. R laughed too. "Yes," he said, "Go ahead and laugh Stacey. Sometimes it makes you do that. Tilt your head back a little further, further. Okay, now that's good." And I felt myself following his instructions, wondering how it was I could do as I was told when I didn't feel as if I were in control of myself anymore.
I started gasping for air, feeling as if a giant weight were pressing against my chest. My hands clenching and unclenching as I fought them for control, wanting them to understand that I was there in that room with them. "Deep breaths Stacey," said the lady's voice again, her thumb stroking the side of my face. "I know it hurts, but it's almost done now. You're doing good."
Calmed, I felt myself sinking back into the chair, relaxing. Trusting. Concentrating on breathing. Just breathing. Remembering how I breathed when I was in labor, remembering how I could manage the pain.
Like someone had turned the electricity off, everything went silent. And I could feel on the side of my cheek, something that tasted unmistakably like cotton. A hand on my shoulder shook me gently. "Stacey, you can wake up now. It's all over. You did great."
Tired, I didn't want to open my eyes. "It felt like a dream," I said, the left side of my mouth garbling my speech. "Was Toby Keith playing the entire time?"
The hygenist nodded at me, smiling. "Yes," she said, "Don't you like Toby Keith?" I watched her unhooking all sorts of devices from my arms, and some other wire that was clipped onto my jeans.
"Nightmare," I said, still feeling as if I was floating in a cloud somewheres. Laughing she took my arm to help me sit up. "I was wondering what had you so upset. I'll have to tell Dr. R no more Toby Keith in the operating room."
I didn't feel like telling her that Toby Keith had been the least of my worries as she steered me back out towards the waiting room where my Dad was waiting.
"Thank you," I said in a quiet voice, remembering how she had stroked my face and calmed me. "Thanks for being my guardian angel in there."
And with that, Dad helped me with my coat and drove me home.
And when the drill started, I felt it in waves. Gentle at first and then building, until suddenly my eyes were open and I was saying "Ow" and Dr. R looked sort of surprised to see me awake so soon. "Easy Stacey. You're doing good," said a lady's voice by my side. "Breathe through your nose. That's it. Good." And just as suddenly as my eyes had opened, they were closed again and I was back on the astral plain floating and listening and hearing Toby Keith.
Toby Keith?
I laughed to myself, thinking that I shouldn't laugh when presumably there was some heavy artillery going on in my mouth but I couldn't help it. Dr. R laughed too. "Yes," he said, "Go ahead and laugh Stacey. Sometimes it makes you do that. Tilt your head back a little further, further. Okay, now that's good." And I felt myself following his instructions, wondering how it was I could do as I was told when I didn't feel as if I were in control of myself anymore.
I started gasping for air, feeling as if a giant weight were pressing against my chest. My hands clenching and unclenching as I fought them for control, wanting them to understand that I was there in that room with them. "Deep breaths Stacey," said the lady's voice again, her thumb stroking the side of my face. "I know it hurts, but it's almost done now. You're doing good."
Calmed, I felt myself sinking back into the chair, relaxing. Trusting. Concentrating on breathing. Just breathing. Remembering how I breathed when I was in labor, remembering how I could manage the pain.
Like someone had turned the electricity off, everything went silent. And I could feel on the side of my cheek, something that tasted unmistakably like cotton. A hand on my shoulder shook me gently. "Stacey, you can wake up now. It's all over. You did great."
Tired, I didn't want to open my eyes. "It felt like a dream," I said, the left side of my mouth garbling my speech. "Was Toby Keith playing the entire time?"
The hygenist nodded at me, smiling. "Yes," she said, "Don't you like Toby Keith?" I watched her unhooking all sorts of devices from my arms, and some other wire that was clipped onto my jeans.
"Nightmare," I said, still feeling as if I was floating in a cloud somewheres. Laughing she took my arm to help me sit up. "I was wondering what had you so upset. I'll have to tell Dr. R no more Toby Keith in the operating room."
I didn't feel like telling her that Toby Keith had been the least of my worries as she steered me back out towards the waiting room where my Dad was waiting.
"Thank you," I said in a quiet voice, remembering how she had stroked my face and calmed me. "Thanks for being my guardian angel in there."
And with that, Dad helped me with my coat and drove me home.
And the Verdict Is ...
Nitrous oxide is a wonderful thing. But now that I've been home for an hour or two, the pain is starting to settle in, and the sweet oblivion is just about over and gone. My face feels like someone hit it with a jack hammer and I'm not imagining it when I say I can feel the stitches in my mouth.
On that note, I've just taken two pain pills and think a nap is in due order. More interesting details later, when I'm back on a level playing field.
On that note, I've just taken two pain pills and think a nap is in due order. More interesting details later, when I'm back on a level playing field.
Voices of Reason ... Not One of Them Mine
According to my sources - 4 comments on last nights post - the consensus seems to be leaning towards the opinion that tooth extraction, combined with good drugs is really quite a good thing. And Bren is right too ... There is something oddly attractive about Dr. R, though thank God for me, not in a Sean Connery way, since Sean Connery and I have a history ... I watch his movies and pretend I'm his damsel in distress, and he hasn't a clue that I'm alive. In the end, it works out wonderfully for both of us.
Did I mention that during my shopping adventure over the weekend I bought two new stick to the side of the tank sucky fishes? Since I don't feel like attempting to spell their genus species name correctly, or taking the time to spell check, I'll spell it phonetically for you. Their correct name is Plah-cas-ta-mas. Or as I like to call them Abbott and Costello. I am a bit worried however as I've only seen one of them since I dropped them in the water. Squiggy - the killer goldfish - has a bad habit of pretending he's a piranha. Need I remind you all of what happened the last time I bought thirty dollars worth of fishy friends? Squiggy had breakfast, lunch and dinner if you know what I mean. Perhaps now would be a good time to sit him down with a little Finding Nemo intervention and explain to him that "Fish are friends. Not food."
And I wasn't going to mention this, but I woke up this morning and came to the horrible realization that I had a dream about my ex. (Hold back the screams, hold back the screams, hold back the screams ...) And in the dream, I wanted him to kiss me ... (What the hell is wrong with my subconscious?!?!) If I were allowed to wash my mouth out with soap, I would. But the instructions on my dental appointment card have made it clear that I an not to eat or drink eight hours prior to oral surgery.
Oral surgery ... Doesn't something about that sound dirty? Like something you should be whispering rather than saying out loud? It would be like someone coming up to you and saying in an incredibly sleazy way, "Hey. I've got a little oral surgery planned for later. You interested?"
I believe I've babbled quite enough for one morning. Time to get in the shower, throw on a pair of jeans and a reasonably cute top - perhaps a good idea to stay away from excessive low dip boob action today - and milk the morning for all it's worth until it's time to go.
Blog you later.
Did I mention that during my shopping adventure over the weekend I bought two new stick to the side of the tank sucky fishes? Since I don't feel like attempting to spell their genus species name correctly, or taking the time to spell check, I'll spell it phonetically for you. Their correct name is Plah-cas-ta-mas. Or as I like to call them Abbott and Costello. I am a bit worried however as I've only seen one of them since I dropped them in the water. Squiggy - the killer goldfish - has a bad habit of pretending he's a piranha. Need I remind you all of what happened the last time I bought thirty dollars worth of fishy friends? Squiggy had breakfast, lunch and dinner if you know what I mean. Perhaps now would be a good time to sit him down with a little Finding Nemo intervention and explain to him that "Fish are friends. Not food."
And I wasn't going to mention this, but I woke up this morning and came to the horrible realization that I had a dream about my ex. (Hold back the screams, hold back the screams, hold back the screams ...) And in the dream, I wanted him to kiss me ... (What the hell is wrong with my subconscious?!?!) If I were allowed to wash my mouth out with soap, I would. But the instructions on my dental appointment card have made it clear that I an not to eat or drink eight hours prior to oral surgery.
Oral surgery ... Doesn't something about that sound dirty? Like something you should be whispering rather than saying out loud? It would be like someone coming up to you and saying in an incredibly sleazy way, "Hey. I've got a little oral surgery planned for later. You interested?"
I believe I've babbled quite enough for one morning. Time to get in the shower, throw on a pair of jeans and a reasonably cute top - perhaps a good idea to stay away from excessive low dip boob action today - and milk the morning for all it's worth until it's time to go.
Blog you later.
The Tooth Fairy Cometh
Tomorrow is the big wisdom tooth extraction and I can honestly say that I am SO not looking forward to it. Although I think I may be a bit more concerned about what might come out of my mouth in the way of words as I'm going under the anesthesia. A valid concern considering that what I say when I'm fully conscious often runs me amok. I mean what if I say something totally embarrassing, like "Do you come here often?" or "Funny meeting a guy like you in a place like this." And worse yet, "My mother always wanted me to marry a dentist." Not that my Mom ever wanted me to marry a dentist ... Did you Mom? Or perhaps I won't say anything at all, but just drool all over the place, and when I wake up there will be something akin to Niagara Falls puddling at my feet. I figure in the scheme of things, there's about 80,000 possibilities of stupid and horribly embarrassing things I can say or do while I'm going all unconscious in the chair of torture. Then again, if the pain killers do their job, I won't remember a thing.
Tree of Wonder
As in wonder how long it will take the kitten to cause it to come crashing down. In the span of three hours, I've had to scold her more than a dozen times, chase her around the house as she made like a dog with a silver sparkled snowflake in her mouth, and then proceeded to climb up the trunk of the tree like little sister to Simba. So who could blame me for being a bit apprehensive about leaving Octavia and the tree alone tomorrow while I'm at work. But as with most things, you've got to trust that fate won't deal you a shitty hand.
In the meantime, I have to admit that I'm watching the Survivor finale and am more than overjoyed that Eliza just got the proverbial boot. Someday I'm going to talk CBS into doing another clever take off on reality. I'd call it Office Survivor ... And I already know who I'd be voting out.
Until tomorrow people, my brain cells are going on vacation.
Joy To The World
Spent the day in Syracuse with Dad shopping for bargains, and managed to find a few as we pushed our way through all the other holiday shoppers. Lines were long, elbow room was nil, and had it not been for the help of one especially pleasant and efficient Best Buy employee, I'd still probably be there hunting for DVD's. And considering how long I had searched up and down every single aisle compared to her - and I swear this is true - less than 25 second retrieval of not one but three DVD's, I was impressed. So of course, I told her so. It's not often you find people who know their stuff, and when you do, you damn well have a responsibility to tell them that they rock.
I am also in much better spirits. I think someone upstairs heard my frantic, almost at my edge pleas the other night, and rewarded me with a much needed holiday bonus. A bonus I might add will take care of Christmas, and a few bills I've been running close to behind on. I am a giant sigh of relief ...
Eternal dork that I am, also went out and bought Christmas stockings for Emma and Octavia. KC will be proud of me tomorrow when she gets home. She didn't think it very fair that neither of the cats had stockings of their own. Meanwhile, I'm wondering how much trouble it would be to stuff Octavia in one and attempt to take her picture. Though to be honest, guessing by the way she woke me up this morning by using my toes as a chewing toy, she wouldn't take kindly to this idea.
A day of shopping has me beat and I'm back at it first thing tomorrow morning. Come heck, high water, or a mountain load of snow, I will be completely done with my shopping before this weekend is over.
I am also in much better spirits. I think someone upstairs heard my frantic, almost at my edge pleas the other night, and rewarded me with a much needed holiday bonus. A bonus I might add will take care of Christmas, and a few bills I've been running close to behind on. I am a giant sigh of relief ...
Eternal dork that I am, also went out and bought Christmas stockings for Emma and Octavia. KC will be proud of me tomorrow when she gets home. She didn't think it very fair that neither of the cats had stockings of their own. Meanwhile, I'm wondering how much trouble it would be to stuff Octavia in one and attempt to take her picture. Though to be honest, guessing by the way she woke me up this morning by using my toes as a chewing toy, she wouldn't take kindly to this idea.
A day of shopping has me beat and I'm back at it first thing tomorrow morning. Come heck, high water, or a mountain load of snow, I will be completely done with my shopping before this weekend is over.
Desperate Times ...
Do not always call for desperate measures. Though if you were to ask the receptionist where I work, she would tell you that my single status does indeed call for an emergency counsel with all hands on deck.
Innocently standing in the fax room yesterday, young Maggie approached me out of the blue with an offer to set me up with her landlord. Now I don't know about all of you out there, but for those of us who think in pictures (thanks Bren for being the reason I say that now) the word landlord automatically makes me conjure up a grubby old man in a greasy white wife beater, slow burning cigar hanging out of his mouth, a face covered in grizzly whiskers, and a set of rainbow suspenders in danger of loosing their hold on his trousers. Not exactly my Mr. Right if you know what I mean.
So I told her no - nicely and politely as if I were thankful for the offer, when what I really wanted to do was rip every last hair follicle out of her head. The annoying little twit. And trust me when I tell you, you wouldn't have been any more impressed than I to have some little 21 year old child tell you what things you should be doing to improve your love life.
So I took it with a grain of salt. That is until I walked back into my office and had almost the very same conversation with Toni, who immediately set out about telling me about her newly divorced friend that she's sure I would love ...
Innocently standing in the fax room yesterday, young Maggie approached me out of the blue with an offer to set me up with her landlord. Now I don't know about all of you out there, but for those of us who think in pictures (thanks Bren for being the reason I say that now) the word landlord automatically makes me conjure up a grubby old man in a greasy white wife beater, slow burning cigar hanging out of his mouth, a face covered in grizzly whiskers, and a set of rainbow suspenders in danger of loosing their hold on his trousers. Not exactly my Mr. Right if you know what I mean.
So I told her no - nicely and politely as if I were thankful for the offer, when what I really wanted to do was rip every last hair follicle out of her head. The annoying little twit. And trust me when I tell you, you wouldn't have been any more impressed than I to have some little 21 year old child tell you what things you should be doing to improve your love life.
So I took it with a grain of salt. That is until I walked back into my office and had almost the very same conversation with Toni, who immediately set out about telling me about her newly divorced friend that she's sure I would love ...
Doldrums
Some people ask for muses, others for guardian angels. So if you know any, send one my way. I could do with a little faith to raise my spirits.
Despite the Frustrations ...
KC and I just finished watching Lilo & Stitch and I have to tell you it gets me every time. It and every other Disney movie ever made that is. Yet it's this line that gets me most of all ...
Stitch: This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.
Stitch: This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.
Art Seeking Muse
Wouldn't it be nice to put your life on hold and run away for a while? It sounds so good to say, but as far as the doing goes, it unfortunately falls more in the realm of impossible than possible, save for a wistful sigh.
A friend put such a request on his blog. Seeking muse, he said, someone to share in extensive travels abroad, and the occasional ounce of praise for what he termed "obviously crap" writing. (Although truth be told, I am not of the same opinion that his writing is crap and have told him so on more than one occasion.)
Still if I were someone other than me, I might bite at such an offer, if I thought it seriously made. Ah well, I guess I'll have to aMUSE myself for the time being.
A friend put such a request on his blog. Seeking muse, he said, someone to share in extensive travels abroad, and the occasional ounce of praise for what he termed "obviously crap" writing. (Although truth be told, I am not of the same opinion that his writing is crap and have told him so on more than one occasion.)
Still if I were someone other than me, I might bite at such an offer, if I thought it seriously made. Ah well, I guess I'll have to aMUSE myself for the time being.
Easy No Bake Oven
Though I've washed them, my hands are still sticky from my most recent near disaster in the kitchen. And though I can't seem to clear up that feeling that I've still got a little bit of fudge on the tips of my fingers, I've checked them twice and there's not a single spot to find.
Sure that someone other than myself could have made no bake peanut butter pies much faster then myself, I can at least say that they are done and awaiting their debut at work tomorrow to celebrate all the December office birthdays. It was however a close call. Doubling up on the recipe, I almost forgot to double the final ingredient, far too distracted from kicking KC out of the kitchen every two seconds with the admonishment, "No! You cannot lick the bowl just yet!" quickly followed by, "I'll call you when I'm done. Go sit down in the other room. No, not this room. I said the other room."
Of course, she didn't listen. Choosing instead to hover by the door and ask, "You almost done yet? You done yet? When are you going to be done? How come this is taking so long? Can I lick the bowl yet? Is it done now?"
Oh my God!!! Somebody sign me up for sainthood!
Sure that someone other than myself could have made no bake peanut butter pies much faster then myself, I can at least say that they are done and awaiting their debut at work tomorrow to celebrate all the December office birthdays. It was however a close call. Doubling up on the recipe, I almost forgot to double the final ingredient, far too distracted from kicking KC out of the kitchen every two seconds with the admonishment, "No! You cannot lick the bowl just yet!" quickly followed by, "I'll call you when I'm done. Go sit down in the other room. No, not this room. I said the other room."
Of course, she didn't listen. Choosing instead to hover by the door and ask, "You almost done yet? You done yet? When are you going to be done? How come this is taking so long? Can I lick the bowl yet? Is it done now?"
Oh my God!!! Somebody sign me up for sainthood!
Hip, Hop, Hype
After all the build up, after all the hype, I'm sad to say I was more than a little disappointed over the BJD2 sequel. Can't really put my finger on the why of it all, other than I was expecting bigger and better and came to the conclusion that in no way was it as good as the first. It did however, have its moments ... Colin Firth, sigh.
As for me, I've spent the rest of my afternoon in solitary confinement and am on my way back upstairs to bed before the painkiller kicks in and knocks me on my ass.
As for me, I've spent the rest of my afternoon in solitary confinement and am on my way back upstairs to bed before the painkiller kicks in and knocks me on my ass.
Off To the Movies
Not to blow this whole tooth thing out of proportion, but when you can barely open your mouth wide enough to take a bite of toast, it's okay to feel sorry for yourself.
That being said, I'm taking myself to the movies today to see Bridget Jone's Diary 2.
I'm off to get ready.
That being said, I'm taking myself to the movies today to see Bridget Jone's Diary 2.
I'm off to get ready.
Homage To the Tooth Fairy
Tough night last night trying to get any sleep with my tooth throbbing angrily in pain. With no pain reliever of my own in sight and a face wet with tears, I had no other choice but to give the chewable children's Tylenol a try to see if it could possibly provide any relief. Doubling the dosage and heading back upstairs to bed with a new cold compress, I continued to toss and turn until somewhere after two this morning, when exhaustion finally won over the pain.
Amazingly enough, waking up to a new day didn't help my case any. With the left side of my face completely swollen, even the slightest movement of my jaw sent shockwaves of distress scrambling to my brain. It's just a few more hours until your appointment, I reminded myself as I went about getting ready for work. You're a trooper, you can handle this ... You did after all manage child birth and goodness only knows this isn't anything like that. Though I was really thinking, no it's worse.
So I spent the entire morning mumbling through my mouth, offering to my fellow co-workers their one and only chance to pop me in the mouth for any past grievance they'd like to get even with me for. But not one person was willing to take me up on my offer or even give it a trial swing. Though I dare say I would have welcomed a distraction from the pain.
Girl that I am, one not overly fond of the dentist and all his tools for torture, found myself practically salivating over the oral surgeon when my appointment finally came around. Considering dropping to my knees and begging him to just take the damn tooth out now, and to hell with the consultation, I was more than happy when he prescribed some serious pain relievers. "I could just kiss you!" I told him, as he stood there smiling indulgently at me.
The pain however is far from over. According to my new Doc, my wisdom tooth is impacted, growing in the wrong way in a mouth too small to accommodate it (and boy, did my co-workers have a laugh over me having a small mouth. To hear you, is not to come to that conclusion they said.) and because of it's position (#17) and the difficulty the extraction is going to prove to be, the Doc says he's going to have to have me completely sedated. Oh joy ...
Telling me far more than I ever really wanted to know, ie: cutting the gums, drilling and all other sorts of really bad sounding ideas, with the expectation of being down for the count at least two days following (there goes the Xmas party) I'm trying to forget most of what he said. Let it be known now, that I am a firm believer in the opinion that ignorance is truly bliss sometimes.
With my work day finally over, the first thing I did upon getting home tonight, other than checking my email, sending out the appropriate replies and giving the cats their evening meal, was pop two of my newly prescribed pain relievers. They didn't take long to work, making my idea of blogging earlier in the night a no go. Instead I retreated to the couch, with a soft pillow and two blankets and passed out, waking only about 15 minutes ago to find myself here.
The pain however is slowly easing itself back in and with eyes red and rimmed with black, it's back to the kitchen I'll go now to take another dose and then take myself upstairs and right back to bed.
Amazingly enough, waking up to a new day didn't help my case any. With the left side of my face completely swollen, even the slightest movement of my jaw sent shockwaves of distress scrambling to my brain. It's just a few more hours until your appointment, I reminded myself as I went about getting ready for work. You're a trooper, you can handle this ... You did after all manage child birth and goodness only knows this isn't anything like that. Though I was really thinking, no it's worse.
So I spent the entire morning mumbling through my mouth, offering to my fellow co-workers their one and only chance to pop me in the mouth for any past grievance they'd like to get even with me for. But not one person was willing to take me up on my offer or even give it a trial swing. Though I dare say I would have welcomed a distraction from the pain.
Girl that I am, one not overly fond of the dentist and all his tools for torture, found myself practically salivating over the oral surgeon when my appointment finally came around. Considering dropping to my knees and begging him to just take the damn tooth out now, and to hell with the consultation, I was more than happy when he prescribed some serious pain relievers. "I could just kiss you!" I told him, as he stood there smiling indulgently at me.
The pain however is far from over. According to my new Doc, my wisdom tooth is impacted, growing in the wrong way in a mouth too small to accommodate it (and boy, did my co-workers have a laugh over me having a small mouth. To hear you, is not to come to that conclusion they said.) and because of it's position (#17) and the difficulty the extraction is going to prove to be, the Doc says he's going to have to have me completely sedated. Oh joy ...
Telling me far more than I ever really wanted to know, ie: cutting the gums, drilling and all other sorts of really bad sounding ideas, with the expectation of being down for the count at least two days following (there goes the Xmas party) I'm trying to forget most of what he said. Let it be known now, that I am a firm believer in the opinion that ignorance is truly bliss sometimes.
With my work day finally over, the first thing I did upon getting home tonight, other than checking my email, sending out the appropriate replies and giving the cats their evening meal, was pop two of my newly prescribed pain relievers. They didn't take long to work, making my idea of blogging earlier in the night a no go. Instead I retreated to the couch, with a soft pillow and two blankets and passed out, waking only about 15 minutes ago to find myself here.
The pain however is slowly easing itself back in and with eyes red and rimmed with black, it's back to the kitchen I'll go now to take another dose and then take myself upstairs and right back to bed.
Sensitive Teeth
The blog you are attempting to read is currently suffering from a toothache of unmentionable proportions and will be spending the rest of her night clutching a cold ice pack to the left side of her face while moaning in agony.
More from me tomorrow after I've consulted with the oral surgeon.
More from me tomorrow after I've consulted with the oral surgeon.
Power Outage
Sitting here in the dark and in the ever increasing cold, listening to the rush of the wind outside, and KC nervously stammering away sentences that don't make any sense in order to prolong her stay downstairs where she can be in the pitch black with company, rather than in the pitch black of the upstairs without company.
"It's so dark, it's freaky." she says, snuggling up against me in the soft glow of the computer screen.
But just as she's beginning to settle in, and warm up to the possibility of extending her bedtime, somebody plugs our world back in.
"It's so dark, it's freaky." she says, snuggling up against me in the soft glow of the computer screen.
But just as she's beginning to settle in, and warm up to the possibility of extending her bedtime, somebody plugs our world back in.
The Irritating Lady Next Door
Call me a stuck up snob, call me set in my ways, call me whatever it is you want, but when it comes to my neighbor in TH #4, the one thing you can always call me is irritated.
Once again she's managed to fuck up our parking lot system by parking in my spot, and allowing her endless caravan of company to park in everyone else's! (Common courtesy be damned after all!) And it's quite obvious that it hasn't occurred to her that people who don't live here should park someplace other than in a resident's spot! Especially when the rain is pouring down and the wind is whipping at 45 mph! (Exclamation points should be noted here.)
And it's all I can do to keep myself in check and not go marching down to her door and give her a piece of my mind. (Albeit it may be a small one with the way my day has gone today.) One which would include how loud she talks outside my door after midnight, the never ending company she has that never ever seem to leave, but feel free to act like they pay rent and live here and the fact that Sheila (my nice next door neighbor) - on more than one occasion - has taken it upon herself to pick up the trash blowing around the yard, because Kathy has been too LAZY to lift the lid of the garbage receptacle and place her bags inside the dumpster!
If only I had the power of eviction!
(I'd bitch more but it's time to get KC to dance class.)
Once again she's managed to fuck up our parking lot system by parking in my spot, and allowing her endless caravan of company to park in everyone else's! (Common courtesy be damned after all!) And it's quite obvious that it hasn't occurred to her that people who don't live here should park someplace other than in a resident's spot! Especially when the rain is pouring down and the wind is whipping at 45 mph! (Exclamation points should be noted here.)
And it's all I can do to keep myself in check and not go marching down to her door and give her a piece of my mind. (Albeit it may be a small one with the way my day has gone today.) One which would include how loud she talks outside my door after midnight, the never ending company she has that never ever seem to leave, but feel free to act like they pay rent and live here and the fact that Sheila (my nice next door neighbor) - on more than one occasion - has taken it upon herself to pick up the trash blowing around the yard, because Kathy has been too LAZY to lift the lid of the garbage receptacle and place her bags inside the dumpster!
If only I had the power of eviction!
(I'd bitch more but it's time to get KC to dance class.)
