Honesty is the Best Policy

Sometimes you need to be reminded of all the stupid things you've done to better appreciate how far it is you've come. Tonight's list is one I'm sure my best friend Brenda will be quite familiar with. She was after all present for 98.9% of it.

1. Crushing smarties in Mrs. Adams English class in order to snort them. (FYI: Burned horribly.)

2. Riding on the top of the hood of LB's car. (Holding on to what I don't know.)

3. Patio Motel Room 3. (Incredibly stupid!)

4. Getting in school suspension because the ISS teacher had a nice ass. (Although he did write in MY yearbook that he enjoyed having me - correction - my presence in the ISS room.)

5. Adnerb and Yecats. And really, you can't name a pair of shoes after yourself, it's just wrong.

6. Skipping school with Rob and Robin to watch Brahm Stoker's Dracula.

7. Giving blood to go home early from school without permission.

8. Sass mouthing the vice principal, the day we forged notes to leave early.

9. Forging another note saying I had missed school due to a death in the family, not mentioning that it was my Dad's dog, and subsequently earning ISS (once) again.

10. Borrowing my Mom's car to go joyriding (without a license) and getting caught because I changed the radio station and put too much gas back into the tank.

11. The garage incident. (Ooops, my bad.)

12. Our entire senior year of gym class and the excuse that we could just stand there doing nothing because we were seniors ...

13. Failing my Math regents with a 32. (Attending summer school and earning an 86.)

14. The night I stole your shoe and you almost fell into a pond on private property.

15. Sneaking Mike S. into the house on prom night.

16. Making asses of ourselves on prom night, even though we didn't actually go. (No jeans allowed, the bastards!)

17. Playing on railroad tracks.

18. That one thing I cannot mention for legal repercussions but that involved a lot of red snow cone flavoring and oyster crackers.

19. Flushing your favorite sweatshirt down the toilet in college.

20. Swimming in the creek on an incredibly cold night because Rob dared me to.

21. The college video. (Which speaks for itself.)

22. Any of the guys we hung out with that we shouldn't have.

23. Not stopping you sooner from making out with the bouncer at that one bar before everyone could start chanting your name.

24. Skipping my American Government class to attend the same badminton class as Brenda because I liked a guy named Karlton who informed me that he was from another planet.

25. The accident with Dave aka "Lettuce" (we met over the salad bar) in the Price Chopper parking lot.

26. The incident at Shana's party where the cops had to be called and we were too chicken to go home and face the music, so we (Brenda, Beth, Kerri and I) slept in my Mom's car in the Tops Parking lot. (And froze our collective asses off.)

27. Hanging out with PJ to wake and bake.

28. The night I didn't come back to the dorm room. (Actually a proud moment, thank you all for clapping upon my return the next morning.)

29. .74 my first semester at college.

30. Too many more that I can't even begin to mention on here without moving to another country and changing my name.