Sing, Sing a Song

If only I were still in my twenties, I would go out for American Idol and thrill them with my lovely little singing voice. I'm sitting in my living room scared to death by the AI rejects and wonder how it is half of them managed to actually get to the auditions with no one telling them that they suck ... As in completely.

Meanwhile my poor assaulted ears have come to the conclusion that half of the world is full of tone death people and families who lie to them. Ouch! So Mom, I know you've heard me in the shower when I was a kid and maybe the last time I was at your house (you know that one Les Mis song that I sang over and over and over again until the hot water ran out and then of course my new obsession with WICKED), it's up to you to tell the world that I actually can sing ... And not just in the bathroom, my car or at home when the neighbors aren't around to hear.

(I take requests ... Send me yours and I'll dust off the vocal pipes.)

All that aside, I've got to make this short and sweet so I can wash that gray right out of my hair. And trust me when I say that this is going to take my full and complete attention. Last time I left the dye on too long and ended up looking like Snow White with raven black death hair, minus the small woodland creatures.

But just to satisfy your curiosities on what trials and tribulations today here's a brief run down.

1. Went to lunch with Toni and succeeded in dropping a piece of popcorn down my shirt, forcing me to turn my back to the bar room crowd and retrieve it without drawing too much attention to myself.

2. Was hit on by a lesbian at said bar ... And returned to work scared to death that I am giving off the wrong vibes. Hence the hair dye, and taking the appearance up a notch. (Single men of the world, call me. Seriously. We'll do lunch.)

3. Berated "Dug" for making off with my car keys and pressing the panic button and then followed him into Moe's office (my car was parked right outside his window) where "Dug" and I took turns setting it on and off as the lights blinked all spasmodic. That is until Moe yelled for us to go back to our offices and find something constructive to do.

4. Shared the lesbian lunch story with Jake, who said that there wasn't enough tongue action in my encounter to make it interesting.

5. Came to the conclusion that I DO NOT LIKE corn chowder. Nasty stuff, really. Ugh.

Alright, alright ... If I don't sign off and don the hair dye, I'll end up putting it off until tomorrow. And lord knows, I can't do that to my vibes.